Hearts are Blind
by Gravity Fair
Summary: Set in the past, this emotional roller coaster takes place in Snape's second year as a Hogwarts teacher. It's the same Professors you know and love with all new students that each have something to hide... Some darker than others... SNAPE/OC
1. Lucinda

**Disclaimer-**

I do not claim any characters from JK Rowling's Harry Potter. The one's I _do_ claim are one's such as Lucinda and her parents, and Aurora and everyone in her family. There are going to be other characters throughout the story that I have also made up and I claim them completely. Since this story is going to be set in the past, the only characters that won't be claimed are all of the teachers, the caretaker, and the kids in the prologue and ending (yes, both _will_ exist). I guess I'll explain more along the way...

**Author's Note-**

I have rated this story "M", because of language and things that will happen later on in the story.. For right now, you're left in the dark... Sorry! I love you guys, though. Please enjoy reading this and sticking with me through everything that is to come in HaB.

**Hearts are Blind**

**Prologue-**

It was Halloween night at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Students had just finished with they're feast, down in the Great Hall, and the Gryffindor common room was currently crammed full of filled bellies and happy faces. Everyone was either crowded around the fire, playing games of Exploding Snap, or sitting in comfy chairs, talking about werewolves, trolls, and gruesome things they'd witnessed. It was a hideous night outside and rain pounded against the window glass, causing a few heads to turn in alarm.

Harry, Hermione, and Ron were sitting in a far corner of the room, ignoring the storm raging just beyond the window pane, and discussing what _they_ thought was scary.

"You should've seen the thing!" Ron was saying to Hermione. "It was bigger than me and Harry put together!"

"Oh, you're exaggerating," said Hermione, waving a hand. "It couldn't have been _that_ big."

Ron looked at Harry, "Tell her!"

Harry sighed, "It's true... The thing was _monstrous_."

"See? I told you. It was..." Ron shuddered. "The most horrific and disgusting spider ever to walk this planet... We were lucky to get out of there alive, damn it!"

"I can't believe you're afraid of spiders," Hermione sniggered.

"Oh, shutup!" Ron yelled. "You wouldn't know scary, even if it stared you in the face!"

"Have you forgotten the troll from our first year, Ron?" asked Harry. "I'm pretty sure she knows scary."

"Oh, yeah..." Ron said, dumbly.

"Actually..." said Hermione, leaning in. "I know of a story that's _much_ scarier and it's true, too."

"My story _is_ true!" Ron protested, but Hermione ignored him and continued.

"It's about Professor Snape," she whispered.

"I'm not surprised," said Harry, bitterly. "_Anything_ about him is scary."

"You can't tell anyone," she continued, seriously. Ron snorted and Hermione threw him a threatening glance, "I'm _serious_! If anyone found out that I knew about this I-I... I'd probably be hunted down by Snape for the rest of my life!"

They both looked at her wildly.

"...How bad _is_ it?" asked Ron.

Hermione leaned in closer. "_Bad_," she said, looking a little nervous. "It happened here at Hogwarts... In Professor Snape's first or second year as a teacher." She paused and glanced around the common room to see if anyone was listening. "Something absolutely _unbelievable_ happened..."

**Chapter One**

Lucinda Morgan grew up knowing all about Hogwarts. Before she even turned eleven, the magical school was all she ever dreamed of going to. She was a fast learner and her parents were very proud of everything she already knew how to do (of course, it wasn't much; just a few things here and there, like being able to shape and move water with mere will power of the mind, but it was remarkable, none the less). When Lucinda finally got her letter, the joy she felt was beyond belief. Her dream was coming true and her life was moving along just as she'd hoped it would. She imagined the new friends she'd make and the new spells she'd learn at her new school. After all, this particular little girl had been able to do magic since she was four.

Lucinda's dreams were suddenly crushed when her parents informed her of a different plan: they would be homeschooling her.

"How do you homeschool a _witch_?" she screeched. Lucinda couldn't believe it. After everything... All of the hoping and wishing that her Hogwarts letter would come and she wasn't even going. Were her parents mad? She would've been taught by the best Professors a young girl could ever ask for. Why would they suddenly change their minds? Lucinda always thought her parents were just as enthusiastic about her going to Hogwarts as she was. Certainly they couldn't be serious about the homeschooling... but they were.

Lucinda never got on the Hogwarts Express. She never met other young witches like herself, or young wizards for that matter. She never got to enjoy late nights spent studying in her dormitory, while her friends slept snug under their warm covers. She didn't get the chance to introduce herself to the teachers who would have changed her life forever or the Headmaster either... And Lucinda never even got to see the beautifully lit windows of the Castle, as she arrived with her friends on the train.

Years passed and Lucinda never forgot about her first letter from Hogwarts. In fact, she kept it under her pillow every night, as she lay with tears streaming down her face.

"It isn't... f-fair," she whispered to the ceiling, her breath shuddering with silent sobs. It was the middle of August and, when September came, she'd be in her seventh and final year of schooling. It was too late now. It was completely official... She would _never_ see Hogwarts. _Maybe I can just _visit_ the school... Just to get a good look at it, _she thought hopefully, but Lucinda knew she was just reaching now.

So, here she was in present day: seventeen and miserable.

Lucinda got up the next morning, looking forward to nothing. Perhaps the only good thing about today was the clear sky outside. She looked out her window.

"You're just rubbing it in my face, Sun," she said to the golden mass, coming up over the hill. "I hope you have fun shining on that stupid castle this year, because _I_ won't be there to see it!" The sunshine was actually a relief after all of the rain they'd been getting.

Feeling a little better, Lucinda left her room on the second floor. She then went down the stairs, skipping two at a time (which was a mistake, because she tripped halfway down them and smacked her mouth on the banister).

"Ow-w-w..." she moaned, her lip blue and trembling.

"Oh!" exclaimed her mother on the landing. Lucinda looked up to see her standing there with a basket of socks hovering beside her. "Sweetheart, don't go trampling down the stairs. You'll hurt yourself."

"I _know_." said Lucinda, holding a hand to her mouth to catch the blood.

Mr. Morgan was in the kitchen, pouring himself coffee at the table, when Lucinda walked in.

"Morning, dear," he said, glancing up from his mug.

"Hmm," she replied through the toast she'd just shoveled into her mouth.

He then turned to a stack of mail in front of him and began opening it. Lucinda swallowed her bite of toast and stared at the rest of it in her hand. It had blood on it, so she threw it in the trash bin. Then she grabbed another piece and spread jam on it.

"Go easy on that," said Mr. Morgan.

"It doesn't have added sugar in it, you know," she said. "So, I _can_ have a bit more."

"Well, have some sausage with it, then," he answered, opening a second piece of mail.

Lucinda put some sausages on her plate.

"Any post for me, Papa?"

"Have you taken your insulin?"

"I asked you first."

"Then, no."

"Papa!"

"Yes, you've got a letter."

Lucinda took it in her hands and looked at the large "H" on the front of it. It was from Hogwarts! Inside would be a list of materials she'd need for the upcoming year and of new books she'd need to purchase. Lucinda got a letter from Hogwarts every year. After she didn't show up the first time, she figured they'd stop sending them, but they didn't. It's as if they still had hope...

She turned it over and saw that the seal was broken.

"You've already opened it," she said, a little crest-fallen.

"Well, yes, dear. We had to go get your books, like we always do," he said reasonably.

"I know," said Lucinda, sighing. "I just like opening it... After all," she added, grievously. "I'll never get one of these letters again."

Mr. Morgan looked at his daughter with sympathetic eyes.

"I know," he said lightly. "That's why I got you this." He slid a small, rectangular piece of paper toward her, across the table. Lucinda eyed it suspiciously.

"What is it?" she said slowly.

"_Look_ at it," her father said sternly, but with a smile.

Lucinda did as she was told and flipped the paper over. She stared, unblinkingly, at it for several seconds.

"It's... a..." she said.

Her father nodded. "A train ticket," he said for her.

Lucinda looked at it more carefully.

_Platform 9 3/4_

"It can't be," her eyes now burning with tears.

"You can come in now, Judi," Mr. Morgan called.

Mrs. Morgan stepped into the kitchen with something long and black draped over her arms.

"Here're your robes, dear," she said to her daughter.

"Mama-" Lucinda's voice broke. Her father smiled at her across the table.

"It looks like you're going to Hogwarts this year."

x-x-x

Lucinda spent the remainder of the summer unable to concentrate on anything. It was all too exciting! She daydreamed about Hogwarts Castle as she absent-mindedly flicked her wand at the dishes she was washing, creating a whirlpool in the soapy water. Lucinda couldn't believe that in her final year of schooling, she'd be attending the school of her dreams. It almost felt completely unreal and Lucinda had to pinch herself hard on the leg to make sure she didn't wake up.

August came to an end and soon it was time to drive to the train station. Lucinda was already in the car and ready to go, while her parents were only just getting to their morning coffee. Lucinda sat and wondered why they didn't just apparate to the station. Then she remembered that her parents liked to do a lot of things only muggles did. They said that it gave them a better understanding of what those kinds of people have to go through, day to day. Lucinda thought it was rubbish. _If you've got magic, _use_ it!_ That was her motto. Although, sometimes she couldn't control her _own_ magic, when her emotions got the better of her.

Lucinda looked in the rearview mirror. Her own face stared back at her; her forehead covered in wisps of dark curls. She brushed them back, away from her eyes and sighed. Why were they taking so long?

"Come _on_!" Lucinda called out the window, honking the horn loudly. Ten minutes later, they were on their way, bumping along the road to Kings Cross Station. Lucinda could hardly sit still long enough to get there. (These muggle ways of transportation were so _slow_! How could they ever manage without magic?) Once at the train station, Lucinda ran down the line with her luggage and all the way through the barrier between platforms nine and ten (her parents trying their best to keep up) and almost crashed into a young girl just on the other side. She screeched her trolley to a halt, inches away from the girl and felt her parents bump into her as they, too, came through the barrier.

"Hey, watch it there! You almost ran me over!"

The girl was now staring at Lucinda with incredible annoyance showing on her pale face.

"S-sorry. It's my first time here. I'm going to Hogwarts."

The girl's expression changed drastically. "Oh!" she said, now frowning slightly. "Your first time to Hogwarts? Well, you look nearly too old to be going to school." She had bright, golden eyes that were sparkling with confusion.

"Yes, I know," said Lucinda. "It's my last year- Oh, I'm probably going to get that look a lot... You see, I've been homeschooled for the past six years."

"Have you _really_? Wow, I didn't know you could homeschool a witch," the girl said, astonished. "Does that mean you're behind? Are you going to have to take special classes to... like... be up there with the rest of us or something?"

Lucinda gave a panicked look and said, "I hope not! I studied extra hard every year, just so I could be at the same level as others my age!"

The girl smiled, "Well, I'm sure you'll be fine- uh- sorry... I didn't catch your name."

"Lucinda Morgan," said Lucinda, and the two of them shook hands.

"The name's Aurora," said the girl with golden eyes. "Aurora Borealis."

Lucinda's dark eyes nearly popped out her head, "_Seriously_?"

"Yes," said Aurora, shaking her head in shame. "My parents thought it'd be funny. That's them, over there." She pointed to a handsome pair talking to the conductor. Her mother had white, flat-iron, straight hair (identical to Aurora's) and her father was very sharp and young looking, despite his completely bald head.

"Are those _your_ parents?" Aurora asked, looking at a man and a woman now walking toward them, away from the Hogwarts Express. The woman was short and thin, with a cloud of black, curly hair on her head and the man was average height, with brown sideburns and a mop of brown hair to match.

Lucinda sighed, "It's that obvious, is it?"

Aurora nodded, "You look just like your mum."

"Got all your luggage on the train, dear," said Mr. Morgan, arriving at Lucinda's side.

She had only just realized that the trolley she had hold of was completely empty.

"Well, it's almost time to leave," said Aurora. "I better go say goodbye to the 'rents."

They all watched her leave. Then Lucinda turned back to her parents who were looking nervous.

"W-well, she looks nice," said her father, smiling weakly. "Made a new friend already, have you?"

"Joseph," her mother said, giving him a look.

"Right, then," he said nodding.

"U-um..." Mrs. Morgan began. "We wanted to talk to you about something-"

"-The reason we homeschooled you... until now-"

"-Yes, the reason-"

"-Well, see- Judi, why don't _you_ start-?"

"-Oh, I couldn't _possibly_-"

Lucinda lost her patience, "Why don't you _both_ just tell me, already?"

Her father sighed, "You're right. Sorry, dear... Look, what we're trying to say is that we had a very good reason to keep you from going to Hogwarts- That came out wrong- Um... We just wanted what was best for you and homeschooling was the only option."

"Then, why send me now?" asked Lucinda, her patience completely gone at this point.

"I was getting to that," said Mr. Morgan, a little painfully. "The day you got your Hogwarts letter-"

A loud whistle blew and Lucinda was pulled away from her parents, quite suddenly, by a girl with long, white hair.

"Let's go!" yelled Aurora, over the blow of the train's whistle. "We'll miss it if we don't hurry!"

Together, the girls ran and took a giant leap onto the platform, just as the Hogwarts Express began to pull away. Mr. and Mrs. Morgan jogged beside it, yelling, "We'll send you an owl! Perhaps we can talk later!" and, in the next moment, they curved around a bend and her parents were gone from sight.

Lucinda and Aurora found an empty compartment at the end of the train and sat down across from each other.

"Well, Aurora sighed. "I'm glad to finally sit down and relax." Lucinda nodded in agreement, then stared out the window. The landscape rushed past them in a blur of different shades of greens and golds, and gave her a tiny thrill. She was finally going. She was finally going to see the brightly lit windows of Hogwarts school, as she pulled up on the train. She was now going to meet new friends, new teachers, and learn new magic. Lucinda could finally declare, proudly, that she went to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"So," said Aurora after a few minutes. "Why'd your 'rents homeschool you in the first place?"

"Oh, um..." Lucinda racked her brain. "Well, they've never actually told me... Actually, they were getting ready to tell me why, right before I got on the train... but I had to go and they never did."

Aurora frowned, "Well, _that's_ a major bummer." Then she smiled, "I'm sure they had a good reason for doing what they did."

Lucinda thought about this. What _was_ their reason? Did they think she wasn't Hogwarts material? No, that couldn't be it. She was great at her magic. She could even apparate, too, with their teachings. Lucinda didn't understand. Then a thought struck her that put her parents out of her mind.

"What _House_ do you think I'll be in?" she exclaimed to Aurora.

Aurora thought. "Well..." she said. "_I'm_ in Gryffindor, and everyone knows that's the best one to be in. But Ravenclaw is just as good. A bit of a _snobby_ crowd, though, if you ask me. They have their reasons, I guess. They're the smartest, after all. Hufflepuff is for cowards- Haha, only joking- and Slytherin is for evil-doers." She finished this last part with a devilish smirk.

"I see," said Lucinda. "I'll most likely be in Ravenclaw, then... I think I'm smart enough for it."

"Do you _want_ to be in Ravenclaw?" said Aurora, a little threateningly.

"Well, not exactly," said Lucinda, looking at her with caution. "I really don't care _which_ House I'm in. I'm just glad to be going, period."

Aurora's look softened and turned mischievous, "That isn't very wise, Lucinda... Keep talking like that and you'll end up in_ Slytherin_."

The next couple of hours spent on the train were productive ones. Lucinda learned that her new friend Aurora had a younger brother, who would be going to Hogwarts the year following her graduation. He was apparently becoming almost unbearable to live with.

"He will never shut up! It's always 'Hogwarts' _this_ and 'Hogwarts' _that_... I swear, Chortle's driving me _crazy_!"

Chortle was fated with his name, unmistakably for the same reason Aurora was: Their parents' own amusement.

As the sky grew darker outside, lanterns flickered into life in the compartments on the train. Aurora and Lucinda jumped a foot each when theirs suddenly clicked on, and their door was shoved open with the force of a hurricane, shaking the window pane. They both looked to the doorway where a young man stood, squealing.

"Aiii!"

**Note:** Who is this mysterious boy and why is he screeching like a monkey? Find out in the next chapter!


	2. Clover, Snape, and Sorting

**Note-**

All of the teachers from here on out are not claimed by me! I still claim all new characters, though. Such as: Clover and Gabe.

**Chapter Two**

"Aiii!" Lucinda covered her ears to block out the squeal of a boy who'd just thrown himself into their compartment. He was extremely tall and had a mohawk that was pure, silvery white.

He looked straight at Lucinda and squealed again. "Aiii, it's true! Look at you!" the boy gasped. "And you're so cute!"

Lucinda felt herself blushing. Who _was_ this guy? And how did he already know who she was? He had on the craziest outfit she'd ever seen: red, leather pants that had holes all up the sides of them, black stilettos (which must have given him _at least_ four or five more inches, so that the tips of his mohawk brushed the compartment ceiling), a black shirt that was three sizes too small for him (the bottom barely reaching his navel), and his ears were each pierced seven or eight times, with tiny, silver loops through each one.

Lucinda looked unbelievingly at Aurora. She had her face in her hands, shaking her head back and forth. Lucinda looked back at the white-haired boy again.

"Who _are_ you?" she asked. The boy put a hand dramatically to his chest and threw his head back in remote shock.

"Ai! She doesn't know who I am!" he cried. Then he bent down into a low bow and looked up at her with his golden eyes sparkling.

"_My_ name... is Clover Borealis."

Lucinda looked from Clover to Aurora and then back again.

"_What?_ You guys are brother and sister?"

Aurora nodded in response, her hands still covering her face.

"Yes, we are," said Clover, as he sat down beside Aurora and continued to look at Lucinda. "And _you_, my little flower," he said seriously. "Look absolutely divine." Lucinda's face was now a deep scarlet.

"Um. Thank you," she replied quietly and looked at Aurora again, who was now looking at her brother's ensemble with a horrified face.

"What are you _wearing_?" she blurted. Clover half ignored her, mumbling, "What I always wear," and then continued to stare at Lucinda, resting his chin on the palms of his hands.

"Yeah, but to _Hogwarts_?" she continued.

Clover finally looked at his sister, but with an incredible amount of annoyance "I am going to _change_ before we get there, drama queen!"

Aurora gasped and flicked Clover smartly on the nose with her finger.

"Hey!" he said and flicked her forehead in reply. Before they started flicking body parts off, Lucinda cut it.

"So, how far apart are you guys in age?" They both stopped flicking, abruptly, and stared at her in awe.

"What?" said Lucinda.

"Isn't it obvious?" said Aurora, sincerely astounded at how dim Lucinda really could be. Lucinda looked from one sibling to the other.

"Isn't _what _obvious?" she asked.

"You dumb-dumb," Clover said, giggling. Then he smooshed his sister's face against his own and grinned broadly. "We're _twins_!"

"Oh!" exclaimed Lucinda. "I'm sorry! I don't know why I didn't realize it before..."

They were practically identical; both had porcelain faces with naturally blushed cheeks and perfectly curved lips. The arch of their silver eyebrows, the shine of their hair, the sparkle in their eyes; all the same... Lucinda found herself craving to trace the boy's delicate jaw line and continue across his smooth, pink lips, the bridge of his perfectly sloped nose, and over his beautifully symmetrical eyebrows... And his eyes. His eyes were like golden fire, burning into her whole being. Flakes of honey-colored dust seemed to flutter down his cheeks each time that he blinked. He was very beautiful. Hypnotizingly beautiful. Looking at him almost mage her ache inside.

Lucinda shook her head vigorously. What had come over her? She wasn't the type to fall for a pretty face alone. She always cared what was _in_ the head, not on it. Appearance didn't matter... But, oh... he had _such_ a pretty face.

x-x-x

Clover stayed in their compartment until the train finally arrived at Hogwarts. They were all in their robes now, having changed a few minutes before the train started slowing down (Clover, of course, had to change in a separate compartment). Once they had come to a complete stop, there was a sudden roar of voices out in the hallway, as students rushed to grab their coats and luggage and head out into the night air. When Clover and Aurora pushed open the door, they were carried away on the current of bodies and shoving hands, leaving Lucinda to jostle after them.

When she found them again, they were standing by a line of black carriages with no horses attached to them.

"Hey," said Clover. "This is what everyone except the first years ride in. C'mon." Then he climbed into the one behind him. Lucinda made to follow him in, but someone laid a hand on her shoulder. She looked up into the thin face of a witch with a stern complexion. She _had_ to be one of the professors.

"Are you Lucinda Morgan? You must be. I haven't seen you before and you're definitely not a first year."

Lucinda watched the woman look her up and down and then side to side, "Yes, you're her." Then she looked _passed_ Lucinda and said, "You and your brother may go now, Miss Borealis. She'll be coming with me."

Lucinda turned around and saw Aurora's and Clover's heads sticking out of the carriage door, waiting for her.

"I guess we'll see you at the feast!" Clover called, and then he snapped the door shut. Lucinda watched their carriage being pulled away by some invisible force, until they curved around a clump of trees and she lost sight of them. She turned back to the stern witch, who was now talking to a wizard in black robes. _He must be one of the professors, as well, _she thought. He was tall, with pale skin and raven hair that nearly reached his shoulders.

"Come with us, Miss Morgan," said the witch and then turned to the man in black robes. "You'll have to hurry when we get there. I'll need it back for the first years." He nodded. Then Lucinda was suddenly escorted into one of the carriages and followed in by the two teachers.

"I hear from your father that you are exceptional in every one of your studies," said the witch after a while. "I'm Professor McGonagall, your Transfiguration teacher... And this is Professor Snape. He'll be your Potions teacher."

"Really?" she said, looking at the man sitting across from her. "I love Potions!"

He had been staring out the window, but now he looked at Lucinda.

Professor McGonagall sputtered, "You love _Potions_?" Her face was full of pure stupor.

"Yes! It's my favorite subject!"

The Transfiguration teacher's small lips curled into a smirk, as she turned to the Potions teacher. "Well, well..." she said. "It looks like you have a fan, Severus."

Professor Snape hadn't said a word this entire time, but now he did.

"So..." he said to Lucinda, his voice deep. "You seem to like Potions quite a lot... but are you any good at it?" He sneered and she smiled mockingly.

"Well, of course," she said, matter-or-factly. "It's my best subject."

Professor Snape watched her carefully, as if to catch some hint that she was lying. He decided she was telling the truth.

"Then maybe you'll be in Slytherin," he said, looking out the window again. "And we can _win_ this year."

"Oh, _honestly_, Severus!" Professor McGonagall spouted, suddenly. "This is only your second year here as a teacher and _already_ you've got a grudge against my House!"

"Well, if the Gryffindors weren't sneaky, little _cheaters_!" he spat.

"You _must_ be joking..." said Professor McGonagall, rolling her eyes at the ceiling of the carriage. "We won fair and square... by _studying_!"

This continued all the way up to the large, oak, front doors of Hogwarts Castle, where students of all ages were hurrying to get inside and join the feast. Lucinda caught a short glimpse of Clover and Aurora before they, too, disappeared through the double doors. Then she looked up at the building, her eyes glistening over with its beauty. It was more magnificent than she had imagined. The windows to the Great Hall were like small blocks of gold positioned into the stone walls. They reflected the many candles that lit the Hall and shown out onto the grounds.

"I've got to go and meet the first years," said Professor McGonagall, as she climbed out of the carriage, after Lucinda. "Hurry along, Severus."

Professor Snape glared after her, as she made her way through the sea of students. Then he turned to Lucinda.

"Follow me." he said shortly, and strolled off to the right of the castle. Lucinda walked briskly to keep up.

"Where are we going?" she asked, confused, stretching her legs out to stride faster.

"We have to sort you into your House," he answered, snippily. "Now be quiet."

x-x-x

After Lucinda and Professor Snape had entered the school through a side door, gone down several cold, concrete staircases, and two hidden passages, they arrived in what appeared to be his office. It was dark and a bit gloomy. There were no windows and the only source of light was from the few torches that lined the walls, but the room had a soothing aroma. Kind of like spices... Cinnamon, maybe? She couldn't quite place it. Lucinda turned her head every which way, trying to take it all in at once. There were so many things in this room she wanted to look at (an assortment of pictures, strange objects, and jars containing unknown substances, lining each wall), but she didn't have a chance. Professor Snape told her to sit and then he dropped an old, patched and frayed, wizard's hat on top of her head.

"What is _this_ for?" she asked.

"Hush!" he snapped and Lucinda fell silent. Snape watched the hat. Then...

"Ah-hmm..." she heard the hat say. "What is this? Definitely not a first year. No, no... Very Strange. Hmm... Yes, you've done quite nicely for yourself, but a bit clumsy, I dare say... You're heart is in the right place, of course, though it may be sick at times... So, what is this face I see?... Aha! And you have a way with... Mhm, I can see that plainly too. There is too little you show and too much you hide... Yes... I think I know exactly where you belong, my dear..."

Lucinda waited, nervously. She could feel her forehead sweating behind the scratchy hat and gripped the sides of the chair she was sitting on. Why was it taking so long to place her in a House? Was she that hard to figure out? Now Lucinda was caring, just a tiny bit, where the hat would put her. She really didn't want to be in Hufflepuff and she had a feeling she'd be placed there, anyway. Aurora had said that Hufflepuff was full of cowards, even if she _was_ only joking. Lucinda wasn't a very brave person, so that House seemed to suit her just fine, but... she didn't think she could bear the look on Aurora's face as she walked past the Gryffindor table to sit with the Hufflepuffs...

"It is clear to me now..." the hat continued, and Lucinda felt her heart beating in her throat. This was it. The moment of truth. The moment that would probably change everything... "Yes, you shall go to..." Lucinda held her breath. Then... "SLYTH-! No, that's not right.- GRYFFINDOR!"

Lucinda froze. Did it just almost put her in _Slytherin_?... But, she was a Gryffindor now. The Sorting Hat was finished and she was in the same House as Aurora, and, for that, she was very thankful. There was just one thing, though... The air in the room turned heavy, in a way, and everything was deadly quiet at this point. Lucinda felt the hat being pulled off her head and then her eyes met with Snape's. He looked as if he were about to throw his chair across the room. She felt a little scared, and thought that he might actually do it, except instead of the wall being the target, it'd be _her_! Then the door opened, suddenly, and Lucinda was saved.

"I need it now, Severus." said Professor McGonagall. Professor Snape handed the hat to her, without taking his eyes off of Lucinda. When the door closed, leaving them alone again, he spoke.

"Well," he said coldly, his eyes never leaving her. "There goes our chance of winning... And to think," he added, mockingly. "That I thought you had what it takes..."

So, that's why he was so angry. Just because he lost his chance at using her for his own glory... That pissed her off for just a moment and then the thought was gone. Lucinda didn't say anything, but continued to stare back at him. They were quiet for a long time. Both watching... and waiting. Lucinda started to get uncomfortable and shifted in her seat. She had to say something to get him to stop looking at her like that; with such loathing, it was practically pouring out of his eyeballs.

"Um..." she said and lowered her eyes to the stone floor, unable to look at him any longer. There was a rug in the middle of the floor. It was a deep, forest green and had a silver serpent in the center of it, with a matching silver trim. It looked old, but very well kept. Lucinda wondered what it would feel like on her skin.

"Let's go." he said, suddenly. Lucinda looked up and saw Professor Snape striding toward the door of his office. She stood and followed him out, making note of the route they took to get out of the dungeons.

x-x-x

"Oh, my! What did you _do_?" asked Clover, as Lucinda sat down at the Gryffindor table. "Snape looks more pissed off than usual." She and Professor Snape had walked in together, met with hundreds of staring eyes (everyone seemed to be interested in the witch who'd been homeschooled for six years). Snape had gone straight up to the staff table, whispered something in the Headmaster's ear, and then taken his seat, leaving Lucinda standing alone, between two tables, searching desperately for Aurora's familiar face.

"Alright! You're in Gryffindor!" she said. "You're just what we need in Potions. Me and Gabe _suck_ in that class. Snape is always taking points off for our screw ups."

"Well, that's because he's so jealous of our beauty and youth," said a boy sitting next to Clover. He had blond hair (short and gelled to stiff, little spikes), a cute, mellow sort of face with full rosy lips, and clear, glassy, blue eyes that reminded her of a doll. He had diamond studs in both ears and an eyebrow piercing that looked like it glowed in the dark. He was, in Lucinda's eyes, almost as beautiful as Clover, but had harsher features.

Lucinda looked toward the staff table and was surprised to find Professor Snape looking back at her. He threw her a smooth glare full of hate and then began talking to another teacher. Lucinda breathed a sigh of frustration and then turned to Aurora.

"I don't think I'm going to be much help for the two of you in Professor Snape's class. He _hates_ me!"

"What, _already_?" said Aurora.

Lucinda sighed again and told the three of them what had happened in Snape's office, as they all ate Shepherds Pie.

"Well, no wonder!" said Clover, through a particularly, large bite of pie. "He obviously wanted you in _his_ House!... Did the Sorting Hat really start to say Slytherin? That's never happened before..."

"I don't know- ahh" Lucinda yawned into her hands. "Today has been absolutely mad."

"Well," said Aurora. "The feast is hardly half over, but maybe you should call it quits and go on up to the dormitory. You know... Sleep it off."

Lucinda agreed that, that was probably best and got up from her seat (Snape's eyes lingered on her movements for a moment). Then she remembered that she didn't even know the way to the Gryffindor Commons and said that she'd wait, after all.

"I'll take you, little plum," said Gabe (the blond boy next to Clover). "I wanted to get to bed early, anyway. Come on, then." He stood up and Lucinda saw that he was only as tall as she was (about five foot four).

When he made to pass Clover, he stopped suddenly. Clover had hold of the hem of Gabe's robes.

"I haven't seen you all summer..." said Clover, in a voice Lucinda hadn't heard before. "Aurora can take her."

Lucinda looked at Gabe and saw that his look of mild surprise suddenly turned to subtle amusement. Then he slowly sat back down and said, "Sorry, plum. Aurora will have to take you... Is that alright with you, Rorie?"

Aurora rolled her eyes, "Of _course_ it's fine... But, tell Clover to _get over himself_."

Clover ignored her and continued to cling to Gabes robes, as if he might float away, and stared endlessly at the table.

"Hello? Clover?- Oh, whatever... Alright, then. Let's get going, Lucinda." said Aurora, looking annoyed.

Lucinda, seeing this annoyance, said quickly, "You don't have to!... I can- um..."

"You can, what? Wander the halls of Hogwarts and hope you find the Gryffindor Tower by chance?" Aurora questioned, a slight smirk playing across her face.

"Well..." Lucinda thought, but in the end gave up. "Okay..." The two left the feast and headed up the main marble staircase.

"So, what was all _that_ about?" asked Lucinda, when they had climbed three flights of stairs and were making their way through a hidden passage, behind a tapestry.

"What, my brother and Gabe?"

"Yeah..."

"Nothing," Aurora shrugged. "Long distance relationships are hard, I guess."

Lucinda sputtered, "_What?_... You mean..."

"Yes," said Aurora, soberly. "Clover's gay... Although, I thought it was kind of obvious."

Lucinda sighed, "Obvious things are usually oblivious to me."

Aurora laughed lightly and then said, "hinklewhip."

They were now standing at the end of a deserted corridor, in front of a picture of a large woman in a pink gown. Once Aurora had said "hinklewhip," the picture frame swung in, revealing an opening that they climbed through. Lucinda looked around at the Gryffindor common room. It was a large, circular room filled with couches, chairs, tables, bookshelves, paintings, and a roaring fire in the fireplace.

"Oh, the Fat Lady will change the password every once in a while, so, watch out for that." said Aurora, taking a seat in front of the fire. Lucinda sat down in the warmth of the flames, too, and stared into them. It was nice and soothing to sit there and relax after such a long day. Her brain was free to wander, as were her eyes. The windows glossy and black; the walls with ghostly shadows dancing across them in the dim light of the fire... Everything was perfect.

Lucinda noticed that the longer she sat there and stared into the blue, white, and orange flames, the more comfortable she got. And the more comfortable she got, the heavier her eyes grew. She felt herself drifting off and tried to pull back into reality, but she was too far gone. Lucinda wanted to go to her dormitory and sleep in a big bed, all to herself, but she couldn't move a muscle in her body. Sleep over-took her in seconds.

It seemed that before she had even closed her eyes, she was being shaken awake by firm hands. Lucinda opened her eyes and found Gabe's blue ones looking back at her.

"You guys back already?" she yawned, sleepily. Gabe looked at her, puzzled.

"You've been up here nearly an hour." he said, walking over to Clover.

"Oh!" Lucinda said, and sat up instantly. Aurora was still in the chair to her left and had apparently fallen asleep, as well. Clover was in the process of trying to pull her up, while she slapped blindly at his face.

Lucinda got up and stretched. More Gryffindors were now filing into the common room looking full and sleepy.

"Time to hit the sack, Rorie." Clover was saying to a still-dozing Aurora.

She smacked his face away again. "I'm going to hit _your_ sack, if you don't get the hell away from me." Aurora growled. Clover backed quickly away from her, looking appalled. Then he contorted his face into fake misery and threw his arms around Gabe.

"Oh, why? Why does my sissy hate me so?" he cried, hysterically. Aurora sprang up from her chair so quickly, you'd think she hadn't been asleep at all.

"Oh, shut up and go to sleep!" she raged and then marched up a flight of spiraling steps that led up to the girls' dormitory.

After saying her goodnight to Gabe and Clover, Lucinda also went up the spiraling staircase and straight into her dormitory, where she found Aurora on the bed beside hers.

"Looks like we got the same room." she said, smiling, the sleep still in her eyes. There were two other girls in there with them, but they were already in bed and asleep, their faces covered up. Lucinda wondered, briefly, if she would become friends with these girls too.

"Nigh-night..." said Aurora and then flopped back on her four-poster, falling asleep within seconds.

Lucinda shuffled over to her own bed and changed into her night gown. Then she crawled clumsily under her warm covers and fell asleep almost instantly. Lucinda had one last thought before she slipped into total sub-consciousness. It was of her parents, standing before her at the train station. They were talking to her about something serious and had a small, clear orb in their palms. Her mom was crying silently and her father was just staring at the orb with hollow eyes. It was a disturbing sight, but, luckily, Lucinda wouldn't even remember it the next day.

**Note:** I finished this at 11pm with very tired eyes…


	3. Paying the Price

**A/n-**

We've made it to another chapter! Woohoo! Anyways… How is everyone? Well, I'm kind of lonely… I need people to review! Although, I'm a little afraid of what people will write… Please be nice and encouraging! Haha. That's all I ask.

**Chapter Three**

"Oh, god…" complained Aurora, over breakfast in the Great Hall.

"What?" asked Lucinda.

"The first day lessons start and I've got double Potions after lunch! I swear…"

Lucinda looked at her own schedule, as she shoveled eggs on top of her toast. _She_ had double Potions too. _Great _thought Lucinda _the one teacher that hates me and I've got to deal with him for nearly two hours!_

There weren't many students in the Great Hall when they first arrived, but now more continued to file in (they all looked alert and ready to start lessons and Lucinda only wished she felt the same). Gabe and Clover showed up at the Gryffindor table after breakfast was practically over.

"Where have you two been?" Aurora questioned when they sat down.

"Overslept," Clover mumbled through a bite of bacon.

Gabe rolled his eyes, "More like: kept me up half the night with his jabbering."

"Oh, whatever, Gabby. You were talking just as much as I was…"

"Yes, but not as enthusiastically," he said bluntly. "So," he continued. "Double Potions, first thing after lunch, is it?" He was looking at his own schedule now.

"Yeah…" Lucinda said, reluctantly.

"Well," said Aurora, reassuringly. "At least you're _good_ at Potions. If Snape is a complete asshole, you can always rely on your talents in his class."

Lucinda sighed miserably. She had a feeling it wasn't going to be that easy.

x-x-x

When Lucinda, Aurora, Clover, and Gabe all came out of Transfiguration, right before lunch, they headed straight for the Library. They walked side-by-side down the stone halls, each of them looking like something important, when, in reality, they were mere students in their final year at Hogwarts. Lucinda was on the very right of the lot, striding beside Aurora, who was beside Clover, and Gabe was after that. Having Clover and Aurora in the same place at once caused many heads to turn. No one in the whole school had faces like them. So much beauty was blinding…

"Why are we coming here, again?" Aurora asked as they reached the Library doors.

"Because," said Clover. "I need to look something up."

"Since when do _you_ read?"

"I _read_!" Clover answered, looking shocked.

Gabe rolled his eyes (it seemed to be his trademark, other than not saying much at all), as they each took a seat at the table, near a large window.

"He's here, because Professor McGonagall told him to come," he said and Clovers cheeks went slightly rosier. "She said he needed to study up on his Transfiguration, since he clearly didn't during the summer."

Clover shrugged and said, "Oh, well. I was busy with other things over the sum- That book is monstrous!"

Gabe had laid a very, large, leather-bound book on the table. It said "Tips to Terrific Transfiguration" on the cover. He patted Clover's cheek and said curtly, "Get reading, love."

Lucinda walked to the big, glass window to the right of their table. Some students were walking on the grounds, enjoying the nice weather and what was left of summer. Lucinda didn't want to be in the Library. She wanted to go down to the Great Hall and have lunch. Her stomach was growling (probably, because she hadn't eaten much of anything for breakfast) and her hands were shaking slightly. It wasn't anything _too_ serious, but it could develop into an unfortunate situation.

"Something wrong, Lucinda?" Aurora asked.

"Oh, no. It's nothing." Lucinda said, still gazing out the window. She didn't want to tell them she was diabetic. She felt like it was a weakness. And taking the time to tell them about it was just proving how dependent on people she really _was_. Friend or not, she didn't want _anyone_ knowing her weaknesses.

"Well, _you two_ can stay up here," Aurora was saying to Clover and Gabe. "Lucinda and I are going to the Great Hall. I am _starving_!" Then she walked right out of the Library, her silvery, white hair fluttering behind her. Lucinda silently thanked Aurora for loving food so much and followed her out.

Together, they went and sat down at the Gryffindor table, in the Great Hall. Lucinda was grateful for the food in front of her. As she swallowed bites of a turkey sandwich, she felt her hands start to decrease in their shaking. Aurora looked at her, curiously, over a chicken salad sandwich.

"Are you _sure_ you're okay?" she asked.

"Yes, of course I am," said Lucinda, reassuringly. "I was just hungry, that's all."

"Okay, then." Aurora shrugged.

Potions class was ticking closer and closer and, with each passing minute, Lucinda felt like she was going to be sick. How was she going to last a Potions lesson, let alone _two_?

"I think I'm going to fake sick next lesson," she announced to Aurora.

"_What_?" said Aurora. "You can't! It's only the first day, Lucinda, and the first lesson is always the most important!"

"But how can I face him?" asked Lucinda, with a hint of fear in her voice. She finished her sandwich and made to reach inside her pocket for her insulin, but then stopped. It was in her suitcase, back in the dormitory.

_I can't let anyone see,_ she thought. _I'll take it later._ She took her hand out of her pocket and picked up the pitcher of milk to pour herself a glass.

"I wouldn't try faking sick if _I_ were you, Miss Morgan," said a cold voice behind her.

Lucinda dropped the pitcher, causing milk to slosh across the table and onto nearby sandwiches. She slowly looked over her shoulder, knowing exactly who she'd see standing there: Professor Snape, and he did _not_ look happy. He glared hatefully down at her.

"Why don't you try _dealing_ with things, instead of taking the _easy_ way out?" said Snape, with an extra stab of loathing.

"Um… I-I," Lucinda stammered. "I'm really sorr-"

"No, you're not." he said, cutting her off. Then, with a sweep of his wand, the milk mess was cleaned up. Snape gave Lucinda another threatening glance and then walked out of the Great Hall.

Lucinda noticed that she was breathing a little heavily and her hands were starting to shake again. The air that moved through her lungs was sharp and painful, causing her to wince. How could a mere teacher have such a terrible effect on her? Lucinda was afraid of him, and she had a feeling he probably knew it. She could _tell_ he knew it; the way he made her feel unworthy of his presence; the way he deliberately talked down to her. He was horrible.

"Lucinda…?" Aurora said, in almost a whisper.

Lucinda felt her eyes burning, getting ready to let loose a flood of tears. She fought them back and squeezed her hands together to stop the shaking.

"I'm okay," she said, her voice quivering.

"No, you're not," said Aurora. "Maybe you should go up to the hospital wing."

Lucinda shook her head. "No, I just need to… _deal_ with my problems," she said bitterly, remembering what Snape had said.

x-x-x

Severus Snape stood outside of the Great Hall, leaning his back on the door, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. The Entrance Hall was deserted, leaving him to ponder his thoughts on his own and ponder he did. _That stupid girl!_ He thought running a hand nervously through his black hair. _Why did she have to come here?_ A fourth year student walked passed, peering at him curiously. He told her to get lost or get points taken away and she took off running. A moment later, a Prefect came walking by and stopped when he saw Snape standing there.

"Is something wrong, Professor Snape?" he asked, his dark eyes searching for an answer.

"No, Samael… Can I not _think_ without someone bothering me?" he said irritably. The black-haired boy shrugged and continued into the Great Hall.

Snape cursed himself for being so imprudent about the girl and sighed, before going back down the dungeon steps to release the thoughts that were troubling him.

x-x-x

Lunch came to a close and Lucinda walked with Aurora down a flight of cold steps, deep under the castle.

"I should've known he'd have his classroom down here," said Lucinda, shivering a little. "I hope we're making a _fire_ in his lesson today."

Aurora smiled, "Maybe you should get some meat on your bones. It isn't _that_ cold."

The two came to a door at the end of a passage way.

"Here we are," Aurora said, looking at Lucinda. "Everything will be fine, okay?"

Lucinda didn't believe her, but nodded anyway and opened the door. She was instantly hit with a blast of warm air. This made her feel a lot better, despite the very gloomy looking classroom. There were windows, but only right below the extremely high ceiling, where she could see grass poking up over the sill.

"See? He keeps it pretty nice in here… Of course his cold heart usually blocks out most of the heat-"

"Now, now, Miss Borealis," said a dark voice behind them. "You wouldn't want to lose House points on your first day back in lessons, would you?"

Lucinda spun around… It was Gabe.

"Only joking, guys," he said, although his face was completely serious and far from a smile. "Snape's right behind me, so, we better take our seats."

They all sat in the very front row, but only because every other row had been taken up by students who looked terrified just to be there. Professor Snape walked in, moments later, and slammed the door behind him.

He glanced at everyone, letting his eyes rest on Lucinda an extra second longer, and then addressed them all in his usual 'I wish I weren't here right now' voice and said, "Take out you cauldrons and follow the directions I've written on the board. Don't make any mistakes and you'll all leave here today with all of your limbs intact. Put your hand down, Miss Borealis." Aurora had shot her hand up already. Snape looked from her to Lucinda. "If you have any questions, just ask Miss Morgan, here," he said, smugly. "She's apparently _excellent_ at Potions,"

Lucinda glared at him and continued to fight back her tears. Why was he so mean to her? She never even _did_ anything!

As the lesson went on, Lucinda did everything perfectly, just as she knew she would. She followed all of the directions, while helping Aurora in the process. (Things seemed to be going pretty good, so far.) Professor Snape walked by their table a couple of times and, on his third time around, he stopped and stared down at Lucinda's cauldron, the concoction now turning a smoky white.

"Perfect," he mumbled, no one hearing it, except her. Then he said to Lucinda, in a much louder voice, "I'll admit you're pretty good and it looks like you know what you're doing… But, it's such a waste."

"What's a waste?" asked Lucinda, getting a little defensive.

"Your talent," he said, even louder. "It would have been better if you were in Slytherin… Now your talent will be wasted with you being a Gryffindor."

"Well, I don't _want_ to be in Slytherin." Lucinda hissed. "All Slytherins turn out bad! Just look at _you_!"

Lucinda crammed her hand quickly over her mouth, but it was too late. The damage was done.

"Detention," Snape said sharply, and walked back to his desk to sit down. "Oh, yes," he added with a very satisfied sneer. "Ten points from Gryffindor."

Lucinda looked at Aurora, who had her mouth hanging open; Gabe's eyes were slightly bigger than they usually were. What had she done? She just insulted a _teacher_! Lucinda took her hand away from her mouth and stared down at her cauldron. The cloudy mass was still swirling around, but now it was giving off a faint smell of cinnamon.

Aurora was still in shock and mouthing wordlessly at Lucinda.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" she managed to whisper fiercely.

Lucinda didn't answer and instead shut her eyes and shook her head. The tears were going to come any second now. She didn't think she could hold them in any longer… but she had to. _Never show weakness_, she thought, and continued her work.

When class was over, Lucinda stayed behind, while everyone else went to the Gryffindor common room for free time. When the last of the students had departed, she reluctantly approached Snape's desk.

"Sit," he said, not looking up from a stack of papers.

"Wait, I have to serve my detention _now_?"

He looked up, "Yes. Now sit there and see if you can't possibly be quiet for the next two hours."

"_Two hours_?"

"If you argue, I'll make it three."

Professor Snape looked back down at his work, ignoring her still standing at his side. Lucinda gradually accepted her fate and sat back down in her chair. He hadn't told her what she was supposed to do… Fifteen minutes went by in silence. He wasn't making her do lines; he hadn't said to write a 48 inch paper; and he wasn't making her grade papers or do any kind of work at all… This was torture!

_He really knows _just_ how to punish me,_ she thought, sulkily, as she watched him scribbling away on bits of parchment. Lucinda studied the way his quill moved so expertly across each page and the vigorous way he seemed to be dotting his 'i's'. He could hide his agitation in his voice and facial expressions, if he wanted to, but not in his writing. She could see through his mask of hate and anger, but didn't exactly know what was beneath it all. Was he really as cruel and fearless as he let on, or was it just an act to lock away the lonely child inside of him, weeping in the dark? Professor Snape paid no attention to her intent stares and merely continued to write.

The first hour went by very slowly and dreadfully. Lucinda jumped every time Snape set his quill down, harder than he needed to, and watched him reproachfully, perhaps waiting for him to give her something to do… But, he never made a sound, besides the scratching of his quill and the occasional rustling of paper. The silence was, in a way, soothing to her, though. She always was a very solitary person; never really had real friends or pets.

Lucinda looked up when she heard Snape's chair scrape against the floor. He was crossing the room now, to a cabinet at the back of the classroom. He opened it and took something small out to slip in his pocket. Lucinda pondered about what it might be, but then lost interest.

Another half an hour went by in silence. Lucinda looked out the tiny window, below the ceiling, and saw that the sky was black. She sighed and looked at Snape again. He was looking back at her and she made a face that said "_What?_" He scoffed and looked back down at his desk. She would only have to be in here another thirty minutes and then she could go. If only time would go faster! She hadn't had much of _anything_ to eat that day, and she new supper time was going to be over soon. Damn it… Why did she have to open her big mouth and say those things to him? Then she wouldn't have been in this mess-!

That's when she felt it. That familiar pang of fear as her hands started to shake. _Oh no,_ she thought. _I haven't taken my insulin today!_ Lucinda fought to keep her hands steady by squeezing them together, between her knees. She just needed to wait it out a little longer. She could handle it until she was done with detention. She was fine, she was fine, she was fine (she kept chanting it over and over again in her head).

Professor Snape looked up when Lucinda had put her head down, briefly.

"You can sleep when you're done here, Miss Morgan," he said. Lucinda sat up again, instantly.

"I'm sorry! I-… Um… Sorry…" she said, her breath coming more rapidly, along with her forehead breaking out in a cold sweat. She tried to concentrate on the movement of his quill again, but found that her eyes were too unfocused. _C'mon! Pull it together!_ She shook her head to clear her senses, but that just seemed to make matters worse. _Just a little longer!_

Lucinda's mind continued to get fuzzy and she felt dizzier with each passing minute. She was going to have an attack soon. She put her hands on the table top to try and steady herself, making note of how dry her mouth had become. Lucinda's pulse increased within seconds to the point where she could feel it beating in her throat. Then her breathing quickened and she knew she couldn't hold out any longer. She had to leave.

"P-Professor…" she sputtered out. "I really need to… I need to…"

Professor Snape wasn't listening to her, though. He had taken out the small object that was in his pocket and was doing something with it at his desk. How could he ignore her at a time like this? How could he be so insensitive? If she didn't get to her insulin within the next few minutes…

"Professor Snape…!" she pleaded, but he was already standing in front of her. Snape seized her arm, thrust the sleeve back, and stuck her with a needle.

As the insulin coursed through her veins, Lucinda's shaking started to subside. She still couldn't think straight, but, within a few minutes, her breathing was regulated and she could see clearly again. After her head was clear, as well, she managed to say, "How did you know?" and then fought back the urge to vomit.

Snape walked to his desk, where he discarded the used needle in a drawer. He looked up at the small, dark window and said, "It's my job to know. I'm your teacher. All of the teachers and Headmaster at Hogwarts get the medical records of each and every student here." Then he turned around suddenly and said, in a threatening kind of voice, "I hope you'll be wiser in the choices you make in the future, Miss Morgan. I can't go carrying around needles in my pockets everywhere I go. Don't forget to take it again."

"Wait a minute!" Lucinda said, getting angry. "It was _your_ fault I didn't take it in the first place!" She stood up and took a step toward him as she said this. He didn't move, but just continued to glare at her.

"And how do you come to _that_ conclusion, Miss Morgan?" he said, also taking a step toward her.

"Because!" she belted, nearly a foot away from him now. "If you hadn't given me this two-hour detention-!"

"YOU DESERVED IT!" he raged, his face now inches away from hers.

"I _deserved_ it?" she said, her voice shaking. "I was only speaking the truth! YOU _DID_ TURN OUT BAD!"

She tried to take another step toward him, but there was nowhere left to go. Lucinda's foot caught on Snape's robes, causing him to trip and stumble backwards; both of them falling to the floor.

There was a sickening _crack_ as Snape's head collided with the stone tiling. Lucinda, luckily, landed softly on top of him. She didn't move for a moment, afraid that he was going to throw her off, but he didn't. Lucinda propped herself up on the palms of her hands and looked at Snape… He looked _dead_.


	4. Adam and Confusion

**A/n:-** I want to thank Frosted Heartflakes and SpencerReid for being the first ones to review… Thank you! I hope to get more.

**Chapter Four**

"Oh, no!" cried Lucinda. "I've killed a teacher!" She looked around frantically, as if she'd find something to revive him within reach. "Blast..." she whispered when she found nothing. Lucinda didn't know if she could perform CPR if it came down to it. _But would that even help on someone who's cracked their head open?_ She wondered miserably.

Then Lucinda suddenly felt his chest rising and falling beneath her and was glad he was still alive. How would she have explained the death of a teacher to everyone?

"He's gonna be so pissed..." she said to herself.

Snape, apparently out cold, made no movement. He lay there breathing deeply, as though asleep. Lucinda watched him intently. He wasn't yelling at her, or throwing her vicious glares, or making snide comments to her... His face wasn't contorted into a sneer, as it usually was, and his brow wasn't furrowed in agitation. _Actually,_ thought Lucinda. _He doesn't look mean at all when he sleeps. He looks almost... normal._ She stared at his pale face and the dark circles under his eyes... He obviously didn't get much sleep on a regular basis... or sun. Lucinda narrowed her eyes at him. Why was he the way he was?

Her arms couldn't hold her body weight any longer and gave way. _I'm still weak from the attack _she thought, bitterly. _I feel so tired now. _She let her head rest against his chest and closed her eyes. "I like you much better when you're not biting my head off," she said to the unconscious Professor Snape.

A few minutes passed and Lucinda never made the slightest movement. The rhythmic thumping behind Snape's rib cage was lulling her to sleep and the smell of his robes wasn't helping matters either. She breathed in his aroma and held it there in her lungs... Cinnamon and Autumn air. That's what he smelled like. It was a very comforting scent and part of Lucinda hoped that it would linger on her own robes after she left. Then her scalp tingled and her lips went numb. What was going on?

Snape's body was giving off an incredible amount of heat, which warmed the skin on Lucinda's face and made her go limp against him. It was such a nice change, being in his presence, without him shouting at her or giving her vile looks.

Lucinda froze. What was she _doing?_ Anybody could walk in and find them like this! How would she explain herself?... She had to get off of him. Before he woke up! He was an _enemy_, after all... Lucinda _hated_ Snape, more than anyone else in her life. So... why hadn't she moved yet and gotten away from him? No one acts this way with someone they despise... And yet... here she was. Lying limply against his chest...

"What has happened to me?" she asked herself.

"You... are in _so_ much trouble," growled Snape.

x-x-x

"Two weeks worth of detention?" Aurora asked, after Lucinda had told her what happened. "Just for _tripping_ him? You didn't even do it on purpose!"

"I know, I know," said Lucinda, sitting on her bed. "But he _did_ hit his head pretty hard. I'm sure it must've hurt."

"Yeah, I _hope_ it hurt," Aurora spat. Lucinda had failed to mention that Snape was actually out for a good ten minutes, before he finally came to. All Aurora knew was that they fell and Snape pushed her away, followed by getting a two-week detention streak.

"I really did deserve it," said Lucinda sadly. "I said such terrible things to him... I'm glad you didn't see it. I was right in his face about it and I don't know why. There was no reason for my behavior..."

Aurora shook her head, her silvery hair sparkling in the moonlight. "Of course there was. He was being just as insulting to you, so you let him have it! I say, good job!" And with that, she slid under her covers.

"Well," said Lucinda, sliding under her covers as well. "These next two weeks are going to be _awful_."

The two girls lay down against their pillows and tried to get some much-needed sleep. Aurora fell asleep within a few minutes, but Lucinda couldn't even shut her eyes. She stared up at the canopy to her four-poster and thought about Snape. He was really angry when he finally woke up. The look he had on his face was of such fury she'd never seen before. Now that she wasn't near him or looking at him, she felt differently. She no longer wanted to inhale his scent or press against his chest, but, instead, she felt slightly angry toward him again. In fact, she was mostly angry at herself for acting the way she did. He was nothing but a mean teacher who hated her for no reason... And with that thought in mind, Lucinda found that she could finally fall asleep.

x-x-x

Breakfast in the Great Hall the next morning was strange. Lucinda didn't feel like she got the hours of sleep she should have, and Clover and Gabe actually came in early. The four of them passed a plate of bacon back and forth and poured glasses of pumpkin juice for each other, while the owl post came flying overhead. Students had packages and envelopes dropped into their laps and Lucinda watched in amusement as one girl had a barn owl plop a letter into her porridge. The girl took it out, looking disgusted.

"Aw, man..." moaned Clover. "I'm so tired of studying Transfiguration."

He was reading the book Gabe had handed him in the library.

"It's good for you," said Gabe, not looking up from his breakfast. "You don't want to fail your seventh year, do you?"

Clover shook his head. His white mohawk waved gently.

Lucinda looked up at the staff table. Professor Snape wasn't there. She actually felt a little relieved. What would happen once she saw him again? As if right on cue, Lucinda felt someone approach her from behind.

Aurora's face, sitting across from her, changed quickly into shock and her mouth dropped open. Lucinda stiffened once she felt him press slightly against her back, as he leaned down close to her ear.

"Don't forget to take it this time, Miss Morgan," he whispered, so only she could hear.

Lucinda nodded subtly and he walked off. Clover and Gabe stared at her.

"What was _that_ about?" asked Clover.

"Um-" she started, but Aurora cut her off.

"Snape's just being an asshole, like always... He was probably just reminding her about detention-"

"Detention?" interrupted Clover. "_Again?_"

"Um, yeah..." Lucinda said. "I got another two weeks of detention for mouthing off and tripping him."

"You_ tripped_ him?" said Gabe, awestruck.

"It wasn't on purpose!" Lucinda defended. The other three nodded reassuringly.

"Oh, shit!" exclaimed Aurora. "I've only just remembered... We've got Potions first thing this morning!"

"_What?_" screeched Lucinda. "You have _got_ to be joking!..."

"I wish I was," Aurora shook her head.

"Well," Lucinda sighed. "Let's do it, then." Then she added, "Bring it on, Professor Snape," as if declaring war.

x-x-x

"Who can tell me what the substance was that we created in yesterday's lesson?" Snape asked at the beginning of class. Lucinda knew the answer, but didn't dare raise her hand.

She looked around at everyone else, not surprised at all that no one had their hand up, either. Not a word was muttered…. Lucinda closed her eyes and prayed that someone would build up the courage and just answer the question. She could feel his gaze traveling around the room until it came to rest on her, and she opened her eyes. Two dark ones stared back at her, expectantly. Lucinda sighed and slowly put her hand up.

Professor Snape sneered at her. "Yes, I was expecting that," he said. "What's the answer, then, Miss Morgan?"

"Ahem. Um… It was a truth potion."

"Elaborate, please." He said, crossing his arms and leaning on his desk.

"Okay. Well… It isn't supposed to be consumed, but smelled. This certain kind of truth potion gives off a different aroma for everyone, depending on if they did it right or not."

"And if it is correctly mixed?"

"If it's done correctly," said Lucinda, not meeting his eyes. "It should turn a smoky color. Then you'll notice a distinct scent radiating from it."

"And tell me, Miss Morgan…" he said, now standing in front of her. "What is the… _significance_ of this distinct scent?"

"U-um," she stammered, looking up at him. The corners of his mouth twitched. "You smell what you desire most… So-to-speak…"

Snape stared at her, unblinking; emotionless. "Exactly…" he said. Then he straightened up and turned away from her, looking at the rest of the class.

"Today we will be making a burn remedy. The steps are on the board… Make sure you follow these directions _very_ carefully. I don't want to have to deal with any of you getting your skin melted off your bones. If this remedy isn't done correctly, it can be fatal if touched by your bare hands… For this reason, you will all be wearing your dragon-hide gloves. Any questions?"

Aurora raised her hand and Snape ignored her. "Begin," he snapped and walked back to his desk.

Everyone started with the lesson and Aurora whispered to Lucinda.

"Hey, what's the deal with you two? There is so much damned tension between you guys you could cut it with a knife."

"Nothing, he just hates me, so he's being mean."

Aurora looked at her quizzically. "I don't believe you," she said, her eyes narrowed.

Lucinda shrugged, "Then don't." Then she put on her dragon-hide gloves and mixed two of her ingredients together. She watched the liquid in her cauldron turn fiery red and start to bubble.

Lucinda sighed happily, "Amazing…"

Aurora looked into the cauldron. "What?"

"It's just so… perfect," she said, looking down at it tenderly.

Aurora shook her head. "You're absolutely mental, I swear…"

x-x-x

After Potions was over, Lucinda and the other two walked across the grounds to the green houses. There, they met up with Clover and the Herbology teacher, Professor Sprout.

Professor Sprout was a short, round witch with a pointed nose and large, kind eyes. She beckoned the students toward the last greenhouse in the row and they all gathered round her. Lucinda got as close as she could and leaned in. As Professor Sprout began giving background information on what they were studying, Lucinda found that she couldn't hear a word she was saying.

She strained her ears, but the only noise she heard were her own lungs breathing in and out. Lucinda watched the other students listening to Professor Sprout's wordless instructions. They looked a little bored, but some appeared to be mildly interested. Lucinda turned her attention to the edge of the Forbidden Forest, across the grounds. It was dark beyond the tree line. Leaves rustled. Twigs crunched. The wind blew. And Lucinda breathed.

She thought about her parents. What were they doing now? Then she suddenly got a picture in her mind of her parents sitting at the kitchen table. They sipped tea and stared at one another. Her mother said something that made her father nod and smile. He stretched his arm across the table and put his hand in hers. Then the thought was gone.

Lucinda smiled to herself and hoped her parents were enjoying their time alone together. Then she suddenly felt guilty for always being in the way of their intimacy. They were with her everyday, because of home schooling, but now they could make time for their relationship. Lucinda was glad she was at Hogwarts.

Then that thought struck her again. Why did they home school her? They were going to tell her, finally, but they didn't. If they didn't want their lives revolving around her education, alone, then why did they do it? Nothing was adding up. Lucinda was great at her magic. They _knew_ that and, yet, they never let her go to Hogwarts until her _last_ year.

Professor Sprout led the class into the greenhouse they were standing next to.

Perhaps Lucinda's parents knew something _she_ obviously _didn't_. Maybe there was a very good reason for home schooling her and it was too complicated to understand when she was younger. _Maybe I'm in danger!_ She thought. Then she shook the possibility away. _No,_ she thought to herself. _There's no way they'd let me come here if I was in danger._

The temperature was extremely humid inside the greenhouse and many of the students had shed the outer layer of their robes.

"What's troubling you, love?" asked Clover.

Lucinda looked up to see the three of them staring at her with concerned eyes.

"Oh," she said, a little embarrassed. "I was just thinking about my parents… I'm supposed to be getting a letter from them soon."

It was funny that Lucinda had thought about a letter from her parents, because as soon as they got to lunch, an owl arrived at their table for her. Lucinda opened the letter with anticipation and noticed at once that it was no more than a few sentences long.

_Lucinda,_

_We tried many a times to write this letter, but have failed. It isn't something we can merely scribble onto parchment. Please forgive our lack of information, but we promise to tell you as soon as it's convenient. We love you,_

_Mama and Papa_

Lucinda finished with a mumbled, "whatever" and gave the letter to Aurora to read.

"So, they _still_ aren't going to tell you?" she said, after she too, finished.

"Apparently not," Lucinda answered, shrugging.

"That's what you call your _parents_?" Clover asked, indicating their signature on the letter.

Lucinda went a little pink, "Um, yeah… I grew up on a small farm with them and the names just sort of stuck."

"Ah, well," said Clover, filling his plate with salad. "The three of us are from the city. I'd like to see your little farm this summer, miss country girl." He winked at her.

"Of course," Lucinda laughed.

x-x-x

Their last lesson of the day was with Professor Binns, the only ghost teacher Hogwarts had. He taught History of Magic, the one class that didn't interest Lucinda at all. Students usually just slept through his mono-tone lectures or did homework for other classes. Lucinda and Aurora sat quietly and were actually wide awake. They pretended to listen to Professor Binns, while all the time they were writing back and forth to each other on parchment.

_So… Do you like any cute boys yet?_

Aurora wrote this sentence and passed the paper to Lucinda. Lucinda read it and wrote back:

_No, not yet. What about you?_

A minute later, Lucinda got the parchment back.

_Well, there is this one boy. I've known him since my third year here. We've made small talk, but he doesn't really know who I am._

Lucinda found that hard to believe. How could anyone _not_ know Aurora? She was strikingly beautiful and her silvery, white hair alone was enough to stop any guy in his tracks. Lucinda wrote back:

_What's his name?_

She watched Aurora's face go slightly red, as she scribbled the name with her quill. Then Lucinda took the parchment back and read it.

_Adam Bailey_

Lucinda stared at the name. She thought she might've heard it in the hallways at some point. It _did_ sound familiar. Lucinda wrote on the parchment-

_What House is he in?_

-and got the answer back:

_Ravenclaw._

Professor Binns was now pointing to a large map behind him and explaining the Great Wars between wizards and trolls. Lucinda half listened as she scratched with her quill:

_Show him to me. I want to meet him!_

There was a slight pause after Aurora read this. She seemed to be deciding whether or not it was a good idea. Then she wrote:

_Yeah, okay._

As soon as History of Magic was over, Lucinda and Aurora went to the common room ("I have to get something," said Lucinda) before heading down to supper. After they climbed back out of the portrait hole, they proceeded down the stairs to the Great Hall. They turned around a corner, but then crashed into someone.

"Oh!" said a boy, now standing in front of them. "I'm sorry Aurora. I guess I should be more careful."

He had a very kind voice and his cheeks were getting redder by the second. Lucinda looked from him to Aurora. She was blushing furiously. They didn't seem to notice Lucinda standing there at all.

"Hello, there," she said, holding out her hand. "You must be Adam. My name is Lucinda Morgan."

He looked around, obviously noticing her finally, and shook her hand with a grin.

"You're the new girl. Are you finding all of your classes alright?"

"Yes…" Lucinda looked at a silver badge on his robes. It had a large "P" on it. "You're a Prefect!"

Adam held his chin a little higher and said, "Yep! My mum is really proud… She couldn't stop crying when it came with my Hogwarts letter a couple years ago."

Aurora giggled and looked away from him. Adam Bailey was of average height. He had dark, curly hair (much like her own) and dark blue eyes that sparkled like snow. Adam's face was bright and warm; made you want to kiss the apples of his cheeks. The most mesmerizing feature he possessed was his wide, pearly smile, complete with dimples and charm.

"Are you guys headed down to the Great Hall?" Adam was asking Aurora.

"Yeah, we were just about to go," Aurora said in a bubbly voice. "And you?"

"That's where I was going too… Mind if I walk you there?" he asked, blushing a deep scarlet. Aurora shook her head in response that said she didn't mind at all.

They turned around to head back toward the staircase, but Lucinda didn't move.

"What's wrong, Lucy?" said Aurora. "Aren't you coming to dinner?"

"No, I've just remembered… I have to serve my detention with Snape," Lucinda didn't bother hiding the acid in her voice. "Catch up with you later, 'kay?"

Aurora shrugged, "If you say so."

Lucinda said goodnight to the both of them and headed down a separate staircase, once they left. A few minutes later, she was making her way down the cold, stone, steps that led to Professor Snape's classroom. It was very dark and gloomy, despite the torches that lined the walls. Lucinda shivered a little and suddenly wished she'd taken her cloak with her. The fire light created ghoul like shadows on the stairs and caused her skin to look gray and dead.

Lucinda came to the bottom of the spiral staircase and started along a stone corridor. There was a bit of a draft and it seemed to be coming from nowhere. Now Lucinda wished she'd put on her stockings that morning. The cold air was creeping up her bare legs and so she pulled her robes tighter around them. A few minutes later, and she let out a sigh of relief, as she opened the door to Snape's classroom.


	5. Detention Effects

**A/n-**

Omigosh! Chapter five! Awesome, right? Haha… Anyways…. I know I just submitted chapter four, but I wanted to write more, so I did. How does everyone like my story so far? I hope I'm keeping you all entertained. That is my number one priority. I don't know when I'll get around to updating again, so, enjoy these couple of chapters as much as you can!

**Chapter Five**

Lucinda was put straight to work cleaning out _all_ of the cauldrons that the students had used that day. It was slow, tiring work, but she was grateful for something to do. She could have just as easily of cleaned them by magic, but Snape wouldn't have let her anyway. As Lucinda scrubbed away at the pewter, he sat at his desk, reading over the students' writing assignments on burn remedies. She heard him tut-tut a couple of times and guessed that some people must not have done a very good job. Lucinda thought she actually heard him tearing one of the papers up at one point.

_He's so mean!_ Thought Lucinda, and she scrubbed at the cauldron a little harder than she needed to.

Once again, the sky outside had turned to ink. Even the classroom had gotten a bit darker, or maybe that was just her. The days were going to start getting colder as September continued to creep into the season. Lucinda couldn't wait. Autumn was her favorite time of year. The changing leaves, the crispness of the air, the smell of damp wood after cold rain… It was one of the few pleasures she had in life; spending a day walking in the woods. Of course, the Forbidden Forest was out of bounds to students, but Lucinda thought that maybe she could possibly get a chance to step inside it… Just a little ways…

"Did you take it?"

Lucinda was suddenly pulled out of her thoughts by Snape's voice.

"What?"

"The insulin!" he snapped. "Have you _taken_ it today?"

Lucinda felt a new wave of anger wash over her as they stared daggers at each other.

"No," she said tightly and pulled a needle out of her pocket. She took the insulin and then continued her work, trying her best to ignore his stares.

Snape waited a minute before saying, "What?... No snippy, little comment?" in a cold, sarcastic voice.

Lucinda wanted nothing more than to hit him right now, but she controlled herself and continued with cleaning the cauldrons. Twenty minutes passed in silence. Snape occasionally crinkled papers or rolled out a drawer, but no other sound could be heard, besides the continuous scrubbing of the cauldrons.

Lucinda checked her watch. It was almost nine-thirty. _Alright, it's still early,_ she thought. _I could possibly get out of here at a decent hour._ She heard the wind pick up outside and slightly rattle the windows. Snape looked up for a brief moment and listened. Then he went back to his work.

When Lucinda was done with every cauldron in the classroom, she got up and walked to the students' tables, in front of Snape's desk, and sat down. Snape was writing what looked like a very long explanation on why that person's essay was so terrible. Lucinda watched his hand sliding swiftly across the parchment with every line he wrote. She suddenly had the urge to look at the paper and watch him write up close. How could someone so horrible write with such elegance…?

"So," said Lucinda after a while. "Do you have anything else you need me to do?"

Snape stopped writing instantly. As he slowly looked up at her with his menacing eyes, she wished she hadn't even asked.

"Actually…" he said, getting up. "I just need you to admit you were wrong."

"About _what_?" Lucinda asked, her anger bubbling up again.

"About everything you said to me last night!" he growled.

"Oh, but I'm not really the type to lie anymore, Professor," she said, mockingly.

Snape looked as though he would fling a chair across the room again. He came around his desk and stood in front of her table. Then he put his hands on it and leaned down close to her face. Lucinda retracted back a little, afraid of what was going to come next.

"_You_…" he said hatefully, through clenched teeth. "You don't know _anything_ about me." His eyes were like fire, burning into her face and she looked away from him. She focused on his hands, instead, but they shook as they gripped the table top.

"Why…?" Lucinda said in a small voice. "Why do you hate me so much?"

Snape took his hands off the table and Lucinda thought maybe he was going to go back to his desk. Then she jumped, as he slammed his fists down in front of her and exploded, "I HATE _EVERYONE_!"

Snape's hands were shaking more than ever now; shaking with rage that _she_ had caused.

Lucinda shot up from her seat and backed away from him, his eyes following her all the time. She continued to move away until she collided into a chair behind her and stumbled.

"Why do you hate _everyone_?" Lucinda asked with pleading eyes. Then Snape suddenly leapt over the table, grabbed her tightly around the shoulders, and whispered fiercely, "Because!..." He stared into her face as if she would finish the sentence for him. Then he looked away. "Everyone-!… They-… Look, they all hate _me_, alright?" he continued, looking back at her again. Snape's facial expression changed drastically from blinding rage to sudden grief. His hands loosened their grip on her, realizing touching her was probably a mistake. "This is how it works, Miss Morgan," he announced to her in a very articulate whisper. "People don't like me, I don't like them, and we have a common interest of not liking each other. Follow me?"

He let his hands fall back to his sides, as he turned away from her, and walked to his desk again.

"Maybe if you were a bit nicer they wouldn't hate you!" Lucinda blurted, unable to contain herself. Snape had his back to her. He shook his head.

"You don't understand, Miss Morgan," he said, his voice full of repentance. "You're just a child."

"I am _not_ a child!" she said defiantly. "I'll be eighteen soon!" But, Snape ignored her. Lucinda walked around the table.

"So," she said, reproachfully. "What don't I understand?"

Snape sighed. Then he turned around slowly, the hateful gleam back in his eyes.

"Being nice, or not, it doesn't make a difference!" he yelled, his face twisting back into its original, loathsome state. "It didn't _then_ and it doesn't _now!_"

"'Then'…? What do you mean? When?"

"Never mind! It doesn't matter!" he spat and sat back down at his desk. Lucinda just stood there at a loss for words. _What do I do __now?_ She thought.

"You may leave now," Snape said, as if reading her mind. Lucinda nodded, but walked around behind his desk and bent down by him.

"You know…" she said quietly, looking intently at him. "_I_ don't hate you… I did, but not anymore." She paused and waited until he looked at her. "I think," she continued. "That you've just been misjudged, one time too many."

Then Lucinda leaned in close and kissed his cheek, before she had realized what she was doing. Snape froze. Lucinda didn't understand why her heart was beating so fast because of it. Her lips were only briefly on his skin, but it made her stomach twist. It was a reaction she hadn't expected from herself. Lucinda pulled away from him so quickly, it was like she'd been electrocuted. Snape put a hand on his cheek. He closed his eyes and didn't say anything, a frown line appearing between his eyebrows. He quite possibly was in shock and didn't know how to react… but that was just the girl's mind talking.

"I-I…" Lucinda stammered.

Snape opened his eyes and stared at his desk for a moment before he said, "You should head back to Gryffindor Tower now, Lucinda."

"O-okay," she replied quietly and walked to the door, her stomach doing flips all the while. When she reached the other side of the classroom, she stopped long enough to say, "Goodnight, Professor," and then left.

When Lucinda had shut the door behind her, she leaned against it for a moment, catching her breath and trying to slow down her racing heart. What was happening to her? She put her ear to the door and listened. Snape made no noise for the longest time. Then she heard a loud _crash_ that sounded a lot like a chair being thrown against the wall.

x-x-x

"Lucinda!" called Aurora's voice somewhere. "Hey, Lucinda, wake up!"

Lucinda opened her eyes. Aurora was standing over her bed, her arms crossed.

"I was waiting for you in the common room last night. How late did you get back?"

Lucinda sat up and yawned. Then she remembered everything that happened between her and Snape the night before. She hadn't gone straight up to Gryffindor Tower, like he told her to. Her feet seemed to want to wander all over the castle. She was just lucky that nobody had caught her. Lucinda had walked into her dormitory well passed midnight and fell asleep instantly.

"Umm…" she said, getting slowly out of bed. "Last night, while I was with Professor Snape, I-I… I did something…"

Aurora looked at her quizzically. "What? Like, you mouthed off again and he gave you even more detention? Jeeze, he might as well just expel y—"

"No, that's not it!" Lucinda interrupted. "I… I don't know why I did it… I just- Umm… Well, just listen, okay?" and so she told Aurora everything that took place in the Potions classroom only hours before. This time, she didn't leave anything out. Aurora's mouth was open in shock throughout the entire story. When Lucinda had finished, Aurora looked as if she'd been told that someone had put poison in her pumpkin juice.

"W-wait a minute," she said; a dawned expression on her face. "Snape actually called you by your first name?"

Lucinda looked slightly taken aback.

"Yeah," she said. "So what?"

"He's _never_ called a student by their first name…" Aurora said, her eyes screwed up in concentration.

"Well, never mind that," said Lucinda, suddenly frowning. "He's so… unhappy. Like, _really_ unhappy!"

Aurora also frowned. "Well, yeah… Of course he is! All the kids here hate him, after all… And I think McGonagall does too," she added thoughtfully.

"No- I mean… Even in his past… I think he's been alone all his life. That's why he's built up an emotional force field. He never lets anyone in—"

"Except you," Aurora said. Lucinda looked at her. Then Aurora continued when she didn't say anything, "He may not have told you about his past, but he let his guard down in front of you, for just a moment… And in that moment, you saw something in him that others haven't."

Lucinda sighed and sat on the windowsill, staring at her feet.

"I just—" Lucinda's voice cracked. "I can't get him out of my mind now!... That look on his face… It was as though just the thought of his past was painful…"

Aurora put an affectionate hand on her shoulder and said, "Look… Don't think about it anymore, okay? Breakfast is already half over. Let's go down to the Great Hall and eat, eh?"

Lucinda nodded, only half listening, and mumbled, "Yeah, okay."

On their way down to the Great Hall, Lucinda's stomach was twisting so much, she thought she was going to be sick. How was she going to face him now? Lucinda just hoped he didn't tell everyone what happened, not that he _would._ When the two girls reached the doors to the Great Hall, Lucinda stopped, just before Aurora opened them.

"What is it?" Aurora asked, looking back at her.

"It's nothing, really. Just…" she said, staring at her feet. "I just don't want to face seeing him yet… I'll meet you in class, okay?"

"But, Lucinda—!" started Aurora, but she was already running back up the marble stairs.

x-x-x

When it was time to go to Potions, Lucinda started wishing she'd just gone to breakfast and got it over with. Now that she was about to open the door to Professor Snape's classroom, she was having second thoughts. Lucinda didn't really think it was possible, but what if Snape _did_ tell the whole class? Or worse, what if he told Professor Dumbledore?... No, he wouldn't do that… would he? Lucinda had her hand on the door knob, her insides twisting more than ever. She had to go in. She _had_ to, but her feet wouldn't move.

"C'mon, Lucy! What are you waiting for?" said a voice behind her, and she was suddenly pushed into the room by multiple pairs of hands.

As the entire class filed in, Lucinda stepped out of the way and looked to see who had spoken to her: It was Aurora.

"What did you do that for?" hissed Lucinda. "I was still deciding on whether or not I was going to come in here!"

Aurora smiled sweetly and came closer to her. Then she whispered, so that no one else could hear, "You are _not_ going to leave me in here alone with him, Lucinda Morgan!... He'll eat me alive, because you're not here!"

Lucinda snorted, "Actually, he'd probably just ignore you like he usually does."

Aurora looked almost insulted by this for a moment, but then she decided it was probably true and shrugged.

The girls took their seats, as did everyone else, and immediately noticed that someone was missing.

"Where's Gabe?" Lucinda whispered out of the corner of her mouth. They both looked around. Gabe wasn't anywhere in the room. "He was at breakfast, right?"

"Well, yeah. He was there, but…" Aurora trailed off, thinking.

"But, what?" Lucinda urged.

"But, when we left the Great Hall, him and Clover took off running… Or more like: Clover was dragging him off up the stairs somewhere…"

Lucinda thought about this. Were they ditching class? Now, she knew she _should've_ gone to breakfast… She could've been skipping right now! Lucinda cursed herself for being afraid to face Snape.

"Alright, listen up!"

Lucinda was pulled, once again, out of her thoughts by Professor Snape's booming voice. She took a chance and looked up at him. To her relief, he wasn't looking at her. He was looking around the room and seemed to notice that Gabe wasn't there also.

"Where—?" he began, but just then, Gabe burst into the room; out of breath, blonde hair messed, face shining and red, and his clothes were hanging off of him; his robes clutched under his arm.

"I'm-I'm here!" he gasped, putting a hand to his chest.

Aurora and Lucinda just mouthed at him, wordlessly. Gabe stumbled over to them and flopped into the chair next to Lucinda. As Snape explained what they would be doing in class, Aurora gave Gabe a look that said, "What happened to _you_?"

Gabe, still trying to catch his breath, gave her dark look. Aurora gasped.

"You _didn't_!" she whispered in shock.

Gabe nodded, "We did…"

"But-but," Aurora stammered. "Right before _class_? You must be insane! What if someone had caught the two of you?"

"I know," said Gabe, looking at his hands, his brow furrowed. "I just… I haven't been that close to him in a long time…"

Lucinda blushed at the thought of Clover and Gabe being intimate with each other. They had a special kind of relationship, and Lucinda hoped that she'd also have that with someone some day. Why was it so hard to find true love? Did it always just hide from the people who deserved it the most? Or were they just not looking in the right places?

"Lucinda!" came that familiar, irritated voice.

Lucinda looked up and found Professor Snape (his arms crossed) staring at her, looking aggravated. Then she noticed that the rest of the class had their jaws dropped in shock of what Snape had called her.

Aurora whispered, in a sing-song voice, "He called you… Luc-in-da again…"

Snape seemed to pick up on what he had done and said quickly, "Miss Morgan!"

Lucinda swallowed, "Yes?"

"Pay attention! Five points from Gryffindor!"

"Wah-? I didn't do anything!" she said, appalled. He threw her a glare and she looked down. "Sorry, Professor," she muttered. "Um, please continue…"

Aurora made a gagging noise and Lucinda kicked her under the table. Snape continued with his discussion, on what they had on the agenda for the day, and Lucinda watched him. She watched his feet pacing back and forth, never letting his heels drag, and the way his black robes waved swiftly behind him with each step he took. Clumps of raven hair were hanging in his eyes and against his cheeks… Lucinda had such an impulse to wipe his hair away from his face, that she felt her legs tense.

Professor Snape stopped talking and went back to his desk. His explanation was over. Lucinda looked at his sad eyes, hidden beneath the curtain of black hair. What kind of troubled past did he have that gave his eyes such a look? They were cold; almost empty. Would he ever open up to her? Lucinda shook the thought away. Of_ course_ he wouldn't. He'd never tell her _anything_. She was just a "child" after all. She wanted to know him, though. Something about him drew her in. She couldn't help her curiosity…

And so, her curiosity grew when Potions was over and Snape told her to stay behind. The room emptied as Lucinda sat at her table, not moving.

_This is it!_ She thought, as she walked to his desk. _He's going to give me even more detention for what I did!_ Lucinda stepped to his side and awaited her fate, wringing her hands behind her back.

"Look," she said. "Before you give me more detention, can I just explain—?"

"I'm not going to give you more detention, Miss Morgan," he said calmly. "In fact," he continued, his eyes on the papers in front of him. "I'm going to suspend your previous detentions with me until further notice."


	6. Confessing

**A/n:** Woohoo! I've finally figured out how to correct things! I think I might have made a bunch of mistakes in the process, but that's okay. I think everythings alright now... I think... Umm, enjoy this next chapter and I'm sorry I'm not the best writer!

**Chapter Six**

Small patches of light glittered down through the small classroom windows and illuminated the dust particles swirling around in the air. This sunlight made Lucinda's skin glow and look warm and inviting, her hair in dark curls around her face, but the Professor kept his eyes on his desk. The girl, standing at his side, waited patiently in expectant silence, but he said nothing. Lucinda stared at him as she tried to comprehend what she'd just heard. He was suspending her detentions...? _Suspending_...?

"W-what?" she sputtered. "But, why would you do that? What purpose is that going to serve?!"

His silence only angered her further.

"Can you really not stand me that much?!" she asked, agitated. "First you tell me I have _two weeks _worth of detention! Now you're telling me I'm just _off the hook_?!... Why?!"

"Shut up!" he snapped, now looking her in the eyes. "What do you expect me to do?!... I can't—!" he started, but then stopped instantly. Snape swallowed his words back down and turned his gaze to the glass of water on his desk.

Lucinda looked down at her feet. "You _do_ hate me..." she said quietly.

Snape put his head in his hands and sighed deeply. "We've already been through this... I don't hate _you_ in particular. I just hate _everyone_."

Lucinda took out her wand and summoned a chair out of thin air. Then she sat down at the side of his desk. If Snape was surprised by this, he didn't show it. He merely continued to rest his head on his palms. He looked very tired.

"So, what's the deal with you then?" she asked defensively, crossing her arms and legs. "Why do you automatically have a grudge against everyone you meet?"

"I think it's time for you to leave now, Miss Morgan," he said simply, and took his hands away from his face. "I have no intention of telling you about my personal life... Now, _go_."

Lucinda's nostrils flared a little as she let out an aggravated sigh. "Is it so terrible that I want to know more about you?!" Her eyes flashed angrily, but Professor Snape acted as if he hadn't even heard her. He folded his arms over his chest and looked down, clearly wishing she wasn't there. A few strands of his hair were now threatening to catch in his eye. Lucinda forgot about suppressing her urges and just carelessly swept them off of his face.

Snape caught her around the wrist.

"What?" she asked, her fingertips barely touching his temple. He had her in a death grip and she tried to keep cool about it.

"Don't give me that 'what' bullshit!" he fumed. Lucinda was a little taken aback, because of the sudden change in his language. She'd _never_ heard a teacher swear before!

"I'm _sorry!_" she said a little panicky. "Now, will you let go of me?!" As much as Lucinda wanted to stand her ground, she was still afraid of him. The pain in her wrist reflected the seriousness of what she'd just done. She'd _never_ try to touch his face again if he was going to react this way. Before, Lucinda hadn't been looking directly at him, but now she did. She looked deeply into his face. She looked at his sallow skin and his dark eyes that didn't seem quite so empty up close. She studied his lips and the definite curve of his nose and the way he seemed to have permanently knit his brow.

Snape loosened his grip on her wrist. She slowly pulled it away from him and into her lap, where she gently rubbed it with her other hand.

"Did I—?" he started.

"No," she said instantly. "No, you didn't hurt me... But, what difference does that make? It's not like you care..."

Snape's face changed as she said this. It was like someone had just slapped him in the face. What had caused her to make such a heartless accusation toward him? It wasn't as if he had a choice. His eyes emptied and he swallowed again, looking away from her.

"That isn't it at all," he said, rawly. "I just can't— "

Snape raised his eyes, forcing himself to look at her. He only just caught himself in time, as one of his hands reached out toward her face. Then he whipped it back and placed it on his desk, Lucinda noticing nothing. Snape bit his words down and turned away from her once more.

"Miss Morgan," he cleared his throat, his voice now in a business-like tone. "You may go now. I have... nothing more to say to you."

"Yes, you do," she said firmly, leaning in. "You haven't told me why you're suspending my detentions."

"It doesn't matter. Now, leave."

Lucinda shot up from her seat in final desperation. "I will NOT!" she yelled. "First tell me _why_!"

"DAMN IT, CHILD!" he screamed, standing up (he towered over her and she had to tilt her head back to look at him). "Why can't you just leave it be?! You can't serve detentions with me anymore! The longer you're around me, the more I—!" he cut off and looked everywhere but her eyes. What the hell was he _thinking_?!

"What, Professor...?" Lucinda pleaded, her stomach turning over. "What do you want to say to me...? Please... tell me."

Snape sighed and shook his head. "Please go, Lucinda," he said grievously. "I don't think I can take this much longer."

"What do you mean...?" she said, so close to him now she could feel his breath on her skin. They were drawing closer to each other without really realizing it. Snape was breathing so heavily that the air was rustling the hair on her forehead. He suddenly slid his hands along her back and pulled her body closer to him, causing a shiver to run down her spine. She should've left when he told her to. Now his defenses were falling and he was giving in to his urges.

"I must be a fool..." he said, looking down at her. Lucinda's lips spread into a joyous grin and she threw her arms around him. Oh, how she had longed to embrace him like this since they'd first met. She'd not realized it at the time, of course, but now she did. The reason Lucinda had been so angry at him was not because she hated him... It was because she _liked_ him. She wanted to know so much about him and he always pushed her away. Lucinda inhaled the scent of cinnamon and looked up into his eyes. They were full of warmth.

"Lucinda," Snape said, his tone serious. He was now running his fingers along the nape of her neck, which was causing her entire body to go weak. He cradled her face in his hands, taking in her intoxicating scent. Lucinda closed her eyes and awaited his breath on her lips, not really knowing what to expect and not really caring.

When Snape was only moments from breaking the policy of student/teacher relationships, he stopped quite suddenly. Something wasn't right. What was making him act so recklessly? Surely he couldn't _seriously_ be about to break school rules and risk getting fired! Snape pulled away from her and took a few steps backward.

"What exactly do you think you are doing?!" he questioned, his face full of frustration.

"B-but... Well, I didn't- didn't..." she stuttered, trying to figure out what was going on.

"So, _that_ was your game, was it?! You were going to kiss me, just so you could tell everyone that I seduced you or something, right?! So you could get me fired?!... Well, nice try, Miss Morgan, but it isn't going to work. I guess you'll have to think of some other way to get me sacked!" As he finished this sentence, Professor Snape turned away from her, walked to the door, and opened it, indicating her to leave.

_What just happened?_ Lucinda thought. _What did I do?_ She felt a little ashamed and embarrassed for acting on her feelings without thinking them through. Why on earth had she tried to _kiss_ him?!

"Professor, I wasn't trying to get you fired, I promise!" she pleaded, striding toward him.

"Your promises mean _nothing_ to me!" he yelled.

She stopped where she was instantly. Did he really not trust her that much? Was there a reason why she deserved to be jerked around like this? Lucinda's anger started boiling up again. It was _his_ fault for pulling her so close to him and making her so weak! _She_ was just trying to get him to open up to her. How dare he accuse her of deceiving him?! It wasn't as if the feelings she acted on were false. He should've realized that she liked him... right...? Could he really not tell by now?

"What are you doing?" Snape asked nervously. Lucinda was walking quickly toward him again, a particular gleam in her eyes. When she reached him, she put her hands on either side of his face and stood on tip-toe, so that their eyes were level. Snape stumbled slightly, startled by her sudden close contact.

"I do NOT want you to get fired!" she yelled into his alarmed face. Before Snape could say another word, Lucinda had put her lips over his and, for a moment, he forgot where he was.

x-x-x

Severus hadn't kissed many girls in his life time. He was either afraid of being rejected (and for good reason), or just didn't want anything to do with them. He was a loner and a nobody in his youth and not much had changed in his adulthood. He still didn't trust many people (those he _did_ were Dumbledore and himself) and he never _ever_ told anyone what he felt. Feelings weren't something Snape liked to share with others and so he made believe that he didn't even acquire them. Showing too much emotion was a weakness. Compassion or love... They were just wastes of time and brought on nothing but pain and despair. Snape pushed people away for a _reason_... He'd only hurt them and they'd do the same to him. Thus, he got the reputation of being a complete asshole. In general, he just really didn't like people much... But, then someone pushed their way into his life; someone who had also pushed their way into his heart... She was someone he couldn't hurt, but... he was still afraid that he would.

When Lucinda pressed her lips against Snape's, she half expected him to retract away from her... but he didn't. Snape simply froze up when her mouth was against his own. She had caught him by surprise and he didn't know how to respond. He hadn't foreseen her doing something so bold. It was startling... yet attractive. After he got over the shock, Snape softened his lips and kissed her back. He couldn't help it. Her skin was so warm and being this close to her... How could he _not_ kiss her back? It was forbidden but... her touch was so... _intoxicating_.

Snape deepened their kiss as he kicked the door to the classroom shut (if anybody saw them like this, he'd be fired within seconds). Lucinda's hands had moved from his face to the inside of his robes, where they'd fastened themselves around his waist. This very close contact between them was unbearable. How was he going to control himself if she continued to cling to him so tightly? Despite his mind telling him to get the hell away from her, his body was saying the complete opposite. Snape put his hands on Lucinda's lower back and pulled her even closer to him. Then he proceeded to moving his mouth to her neck He gently trailed his teeth over her skin and she suddenly lost all feeling in her legs. Snape had to support her, so she didn't fall to the floor, and continued moving further down, his lips now at her collarbone. Lucinda's breathing quickened as he slid one hand up the front of her shirt and let it rest against her navel. She'd never felt like this before. It was all so new to her and... with a _teacher,_ no less! For that matter, a _mean_ teacher... He _was_ mean... until now... So, why...? Why did it have to be him that made her feel this way? Why did it have to be the one man that hated her and she hated back? But, she didn't hate him... It was quite the contrary, actually. Lucinda really liked him... But, how did _he_ feel?

Lucinda tensed slightly. Had Severus been alone so long that he'd be intimate with _any_ girl who showed him kindness? What if that's all it was? He was just responding to her kindness... Maybe that's all this was to him... A spur of the moment kind of thing?

Lucinda pushed him away. "Wait," she said, her hands shaking. "I... I can't do this."

Snape stood there, dumbfounded.

"Because I'm your teacher?" he asked seriously.

"No, that's not it. Although, I guess it should be... Um," she said, wringing her hands and looking at the floor. "I guess I just got caught up in the heat of the moment. I'm really sorry... I acted recklessly and wasn't thinking of the consequences. It... It won't happen again, Professor... I promise." Then she walked quickly to the door to leave.

"What's wrong with you?" Snape said, his voice toneless. Lucinda stopped in her tracks, but did not turn around. She was only inches from the door, her fingertips on the handle, and did not want a reason to stay. She needed to get out of that classroom, before things continued (no matter how much she wanted them to).

"Do you enjoy torturing me like this?" he said with a hint of anger in his voice. "Is this what gets you off?! Just- FUCKING WITH MY MIND?!"

Lucinda turned around sharply. "_Me?!_" she raged. "I should be asking you that very same thing!"

"Oh, no you don't!" he yelled, marching up to her. "_You_ kissed _me_, remember?! I was just returning the favor!"

Lucinda felt her eyes burning again. "So, _that's_ how it is," she stated, trying her best not to sound hurt and failing. "You were just _'returning the favor'_... Okay. Well, thanks for being so thoughtful." she added sarcastically. Then she turned around to leave again.

Snape hastily wrapped his arms around her, her back now pressed against his chest.

"W-what are you doing?!" she stammered, her heart starting to race again.

"I'm sorry, Lucinda..." he whispered into her hair. "But, you did this to me and now you face the consequences..." Lucinda didn't say anything for a moment. _What did he mean, I "face the consequences"?_ She thought this, as she closed her eyes. His body was warm and she felt so secure with his arms wrapped around her. Lucinda relaxed against him and then breathed in as deep as she could, taking in the scent of his robes. Then he pressed himself so tightly against her, there was no longer any space between them at all. The excitement that ran through Lucinda's body was almost agonizing. She could feel a particular part of him that was right below the small of her back and she gripped the arm that was across her collarbone.

"P-Professor–" she gasped and unwrapped his arms from around her. He stepped back and Lucinda turned to look at him, at last. Now, as she looked in his eyes, she saw a boy; the boy he used to be, along with all of the despair and suffering flooding his sad, delicate face... and then it was gone as quick as it had come.

"What?" he asked, looking at her suspiciously.

"Um..." she said nervously and a little reproachful. "I... I like you." After she said it, she realized how stupid it sounded. She _liked_ him? Who says that?! She sounded like a little girl with a freaking crush or something!

Snape suddenly started laughing. It was a surprisingly loud and delightful laugh and Lucinda was startled by his enthusiasm. _Nooo!_ She thought, miserably. _He thought it sounded stupid too!_

He continued to laugh. Then said, in between gasps, "Th-that's- Haha- That's good..." he wiped a tear from his eye. "I _hoped_ that wasn't how you kissed all of your f-friends–" He let out another burst of laughter.

Lucinda stared at him in disbelief. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Of course not!" she said exasperated, but with a slight smile. Then she lunged at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Snape stumbled back a little, but caught himself. Their faces were pressed, nose-to-nose, and his lips were warm from the rapid breaths escaping her.

"I..." said Snape, resting his hands on her back. "I like you... too."

Lucinda nodded and smiled. "That's good," she said and kissed him for the second time. This time he was ready and caught her lips perfectly in his. He new it was completely forbidden, but part of him didn't care. In fact, almost _all_ of him didn't care. For once in his life, Snape was happy someone like her was showing him compassion... maybe even love.

After a moment passed, they broke apart, gasping for breath. Lucinda's chest seemed to swell up every time their skin touched and she almost couldn't take it. They had their arms cemented around each other and Lucinda laid her head against him.

"What now?" she whispered into his clothing. "What happens between us now?"

Snape sighed sadly. He really didn't know. He hadn't thought of how this would affect them later on. Maybe he didn't care... "I don't know..." he said, running a hand over her hair. "You should really go now, Lucinda." Then he let go of her. Lucinda dropped her arms to her side and then nodded. It was time to go. She had another class to get to and was sure she was probably late for it. Lucinda gathered up her things, before she forgot them again, and headed to the door, Snape close behind. Before she opened it, he pulled her into a short embrace and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you..." he whispered.

Why did he have to be so sweet all of a sudden? Now Lucinda didn't want to leave him... She wished it was evening so she could stay as long as she pleased. Eventually, Lucinda let go of him and opened the door. What she saw on the other side, caused her heart to jump into her throat.

x-x-x

"Aurora!" Lucinda cried. Aurora stood there, just outside the room, her mouth agape, and her arms crossed. Lucinda glanced at Snape, who looked remotely terrified.

"Miss Borealis, um..." he said, looking nervously from her to Lucinda. "We just, uh... It- It meant nothing!"

Aurora closed her mouth and raised an eyebrow, but Lucinda shot him a dirty look.

"No," she said firmly, sliding her hand in his. "It wasn't nothing."

"Lucinda!" Snape scolded. "She knows now... We can't—"

"Yes, we can!" she snapped.

"No!" But, it was Aurora who yelled this. They looked at her in shock. "Lucinda," she continued, shaking her head. "What were you thinking? How could... How could you fall for someone like _him?!_ Don't you remember how much of an asshole he was to you?!"

Snape looked away from the girls and took his hand back from Lucinda.

"Severus..." she pleaded.

"She's right," Snape said, turning away from her, despite the electric feeling that suddenly burst through him at the sound of his name on her lips. "I'm... sorry about what I did. I'll see you in class tomorrow but... nothing more than that, I'm sorry." Then he went back inside and snapped the door shut.

"No- No! Severus!" Lucinda called, banging her fist on the door. "She won't tell! I promise...! _SEVERUS!"_

Aurora smacked her on the arm and said, "Stop that! You're going to get him fired! Although, I wouldn't mind that too much, myself..."

"Damn it!" Lucinda yelled, ignoring her. "She's not going to tell anyone!" They both listened to see if he would answer back, but all they heard was Lucinda's heavy breathing and the _tick-tick_ of Aurora's watch. _That ASSHOLE!_ thought Lucinda, her anger reaching boiling point. _How could he lead me on like that and then just drop me in a second?!_ She watched the door, as if expecting it to disappear. He was _not_ going to get off that easy... If _she_ was going to have to face the consequences, then _he_ was too! Lucinda's anger was now overflowing.

"Jesus, Lucinda!" Aurora yelled in alarm. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" Lucinda's eyes were turning a pale, opal color and she had her brow knit in frustration. There was a strange, low rumbling noise coming from her throat.

"_You... SON OF A BITCH!" _she screamed in a voice frighteningly unlike her own. There was the sound of breaking glass and a shout from inside the room. Aurora looked fearful, but Lucinda seemed not to have heard it and continued in the same frightening voice. "_YOU DARE THROW ME AWAY? AFTER EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED? YOU SHUT ME OUT! YOU PUSH AWAY MY COMPASSION AND KINDNESS!_ _YOU DO IT TO EVERYONE ELSE_, _SO WHY NOT _ME_?! MY PROMISES MEAN NOTHING TO YOU, RIGHT?! I TELL YOU SHE WON'T SAY ANYTHING AND YOU DON'T CARE! YOU DON'T TRUST ME, DO YOU?! YOU ARE SO _SELFISH!_ I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE—!_"

The door flew open and Snape stood there looking mortified. As soon as Lucinda saw him, her expression changed drastically from blinding fury to shock and confusion. Her eyes went to black again and she shook her head, as if trying to clear it. Then she swayed and Snape threw his arms out to catch her.

"What the hell are you screaming for?!" he hissed, but looked concerned. Her eyes were a little unfocused and Aurora looked at her cautiously.

"I-I didn't mean to-" said Lucinda, looking panicked.

"You're lucky I put a silencing charm on this hallway, Lucinda," Aurora said. Then she added, when she saw the puzzled look on her face, "I heard what was going on inside there and didn't want you to get caught, so I put up a silencing charm when I heard you guys screaming at each other."

"So..." Lucinda said, looking from Snape to Aurora. "I guess I lost control again..."

"You could say that," said Snape, raising a brow. "You seem to have broken the glass of water that was sitting on my desk."

Lucinda's eyes widened. "I- I'm sorry! I didn't mean to–!"

Snape shook his head. "No, it's my fault," he said, his brow furrowed. "I... I shouldn't have made you think that I didn't care, because I do!... I was just–"

Lucinda silenced him with a deep, much-needed kiss. Aurora let out an unintended yelp of surprise and then covered her face, trying not to look at them. After only a second longer, they broke apart.

"I'm sorry, Severus..." she said again.

Snape suddenly sighed with obvious pleasure and said, his voice gentle, "You have no idea what that does to me... Hearing you call me by my first name..."

Lucinda smiled. "I'm glad it gives you so much satisfaction." He laughed slightly and then kissed the top of her head.

"Oh god, this is _disgusting_! Lucinda, what do you see in him?!"

The two tore their gazes away from each other and looked at Aurora, who had a repulsed look on her face.

"Well, I like him," Lucinda said bluntly. "What else do you expect me to say?"

Aurora rolled her eyes, "Whatever."

"She'll get over it," Lucinda said to Snape, although, he didn't look very convinced. "Well... we have another class to get to, so... I guess I'll see you later?"

He nodded and cupped her chin in his hand. "I'm not sure I feel as confident about the situation as you do, but... I trust you... So, I trust Miss Borealis, too." Lucinda smiled in gratification and then broke away from him.

"Whew..." she sighed, after Snape had gone back inside the classroom. "Alright, Aurora, let's get out of here before I pass out..."


	7. Samael and Nightmares

**A/n:** Hey, hey! Sorry for the wait... I was afraid you guys were getting restless, so I decided to give you _something... _This is something, right? It won't be long, before I have chapter eight up too. (Eight is also going to be short... Or maybe not? I don't know yet...) Be sure to check out my profile!

**Chapter Seven**

A full day passed after what happened between Lucinda and Snape, and Aurora hadn't spoken to either of them. She ignored Lucinda's constant apologies and refused to speak, even when Snape was asking her a question in class. If he hadn't been so afraid of her telling someone about what she'd seen and heard the previous day, he probably would've given her detention in a second. By evening that day, Aurora agreed to meet up with Lucinda outside, by the Black Lake. She was still pissed off, so she almost didn't come, but, in the end, she wanted some questions answered, so she went. It was getting a bit chilly, so the girls had their heavier robes on and pulled them tightly around their legs. They sat in silence for a long time. It was getting darker and darker as they stared at the black water at their feet. Then, finally, Aurora spoke.

"So, how long has this thing been going on between you guys?"

Lucinda looked at her incredulously. "Only yesterday! I swear!"

Aurora sighed with relief. "Good," she said. "That means it's not too late..."

"Not too late for what?" Lucinda asked, looking at her suspiciously.

"For you to break it off!" Aurora yelled. "No good can come of this, Lucinda... And you know it's true!"

Lucinda looked away from her, hiding the hurt expression on her face. "I don't care," she said, tenaciously. "I want to be with him... I think I'd even risk getting expelled."

"You've completely flipped your lid!" Aurora cried, gaping at her. "He's a fucking _teacher_! Do you know the kind of trouble he's going to get into if anyone finds out?!" Lucinda winced, but didn't reply. Aurora sighed again and stared her friend seriously in the face. "Look..." she said, breathing in deeply. "Why _do_ you like him?... I really want to know, because _I_ sure as hell don't get it." Aurora waited silently for her answer as Lucinda stared out at the Forbidden Forest. She had her brow knit in thought.

"You know..." Lucinda said, thinking. "I'm not really sure..." There was an edge to her voice. "I mean, there's definitely _physical_ attraction I feel–" Aurora snorted. "–and I'm attracted to his personality– Don't ask me why, because I don't know– But, it's more than that... I think it's because I know that, deep down, he really is a good man. Now, I'm not saying he's not an asshole, because, _believe_ me, I already know that he is. I just also believe that he's got a good heart, even if he can't see it himself..." Then she paused and frowned at the grass she was sitting on. "Something happened to him," she continued and Aurora leaned closer, wanting to miss nothing she was about to say. "I don't know what, but... something really terrible must have happened to him when he was younger..."

"What do you mean?" Aurora asked. "Did he tell you something?" Lucinda shook her head. "Well," Aurora continued, sounding as if she really didn't want to. "Beat some information out of him! He needs to learn how to _talk_ to someone, especially if he's got some loony issues... You guys can't be in a relationship, if he's just going to keep secrets from you."

Lucinda looked at her in awe. "You mean–... I-I have your blessing... to be with him?"

"Yeah," Aurora said, shrugging. "I suppose so. It's not like I can stop you, anyway... Because you know I'd never tell anyone." She gave her a slight smirk.

Lucinda threw her arms around Aurora and pulled her into a tight embrace. "Thank you," she said. "You have no idea what this means to me... If I didn't have you to talk to about him, I think I'd go mad."

Aurora batted her off. "Okay, okay!" she said. "But, that doesn't mean I'm going to suddenly think differently about him. He's still an asshole!" Then she looked around the grounds and said, "Come on. It's getting dark and we're not supposed to be out here after twilight."

They headed back up to the Castle, arm-in-arm, snickering about Lucinda's young affair. When they got to the entrance hall, they almost ran straight into a boy coming down the stairs at a sprint. He swerved and narrowly missed them by an inch.

"Sorry!" he gasped, completely out of breath. "I just– We've got a problem in the dungeons and the Prefects have to get down there right away. Peeves, that ungrateful, little– I don't know why Dumbledore continues to let him stay here!"

"'Peeves'?" Lucinda questioned. The boy raised a glossy eyebrow. His eyes and hair were as black as the Black Lake, itself and reached his shoulders; he had milky, white skin, and he was almost as tall as Clover.

"The poltergeist... Wait– You're the new girl!" he said happily and took her hand in his. Lucinda noticed how small her's was compared to his. "My name is Tristin Samael."

"Lucinda Morgan," she said in reply.

"Ahh, lovely name. Very lovely," he said, standing there with his arms folded over his chest. Then he seemed to remember what he was doing and said, "Oh, well, I've got to go and take care of this problem!" Then he was running off again, calling, "Nice to have met you, Lucinda!" and then went through a door to the left of the staircase that led to the dungeons. They briefly heard some banging around as the door was opened, and then it subsided when the door was closed.

"That's about the only Slytherin you'll ever meet who's not a complete jerk," Aurora said, still looking at the door.

"He's a _Slytherin_?" Lucinda said, completely shocked. "How... unfortunate for him."

"Yeah, I know," Aurora said, as they continued up the marble staircase. "I think the Sorting Hat made a mistake with that one. Although, the Hat never places you in a house unless you _truly_ belong there, so... maybe he's secretly a schizophrenic, fruitcake, psycho murderer..."

"How old is he?"

"Seventeen."

"Mm..."

"Why?" Aurora asked, looking at Lucinda with her eyes narrowed.

"Jeeze, Aurora! I was only asking out of curiosity!"

The girl shrugged.

There weren't many people in the common room. Just a few by the fireplace, halfheartedly trying to keep their eyes open. It seemed that most of the Gryffindors were either already upstairs, in their dormitories, or off somewhere else in the castle, perhaps serving detentions or something of that sort. That's precisely why Aurora suddenly turned to Lucinda; a thought had struck her.

"Hey, I thought you had detention for, like, two weeks or something."

"Oh, yeah…" Lucinda said, remembering. "Well, he told me I don't anymore…"

Aurora waited for her to continue. "And?" she said, when Lucinda didn't go on. "Did he say _why_…? Or did he just have a change of heart, because you guys are _together now_." She added this last part with a roll of her eyes and quotations with her hands, but in a quiet voice.

"Well, actually," Lucinda whispered, her voice full of astonishment. "He told me _before_ I knew that he liked me… At first, I just thought he really hated me that much; enough to not even want to punish me, to keep from being in my presence, but…"

"_But?_" Aurora said, trying to hide the excitement in her voice, as they climbed the stairs to their dormitory.

"Well," Lucinda opened the door. "I was trying to get him to tell me why I couldn't serve my detentions anymore and he got all… bent out of shape. Started saying stuff like 'the longer you're around me, the more I—'" She cut off and her face froze in concentration.

"_Yes?_" Aurora urged, rolling her hands in front of Lucinda's face. "The more he _what?_"

Lucinda looked up at her. "He never finished," she frowned. "He never told me why."

"Well, I think it's a little _obvious_ what he meant, Lucy," Aurora snickered, pulling her robes off at her bedside. Lucinda looked at her questioningly. "Oh _gawd_, Lucinda!" Aurora rolled her eyes. "Are you really that naive?" Lucinda shrugged. "You probably distracted him too much!" she continued, astounded. "I bet his pants get tighter just looking at you!"

Lucinda gasped and her face went the deepest shade of red it could go. Aurora ignored her and crawled into her bed, once her nightgown was on. Lucinda followed suit, trying to keep her heart from bursting right out of her chest. Was it that obvious Severus liked her? Or was she really just that dim...?

It was early, but both girls wouldn't be going to bed for another hour and a half. They sat up, talking, late into the night in hushed voices. When Aurora finally fell silent, Lucinda turned over and closed her eyes. She was pretty tired, but her mind kept racing and wouldn't let her sleep. Severus's face continued to pop up whenever she started counting her sheep. Then she would remember the feeling of their skin pressed against each other, even if it _was_ just their hands and faces, and her body would start trembling.

Lucinda's stomach began to bubble up and she tried very hard to gain control of herself. Her hormones were getting _way _too worked up from just a memory... But, it was a great memory. So great, that Lucinda had a hard time convincing herself it'd actually happened. Had she really kissed Snape...? She thought of his lips brushing against hers. _Oh yeah,_ she thought. _It had _definitely _happened..._ Lucinda was starting to sweat. She wanted to be in his tight embrace again. She wanted to inhale his cinnamon scented robes and taste his warm, sweet kiss... These feelings weren't... normal.

Eventually, Lucinda fell into a very fitful sleep. She dreamed of a man with dark hair and pale skin. He spoke to her with kind and loving words that made her heart shoot from her chest. Then he cradled her still-beating heart in his arms. When he suddenly pressed it against his chest, causing it to drip blood all down his front, she merely smiled at him. He smiled back, sheepishly.

x-x-x

Lucinda woke with a start. She sat up and checked her surrounding, noticing at once that it was pitch black. _What time is it?_ Lucinda looked at her watch: 2:37 a.m.

She'd just been having a very terrifying nightmare. She couldn't remember hardly any of it, except that it took place in a part of the castle she'd never seen before, but she knew she'd never dreamt something like it in her life. Usually, Lucinda had very pleasant dreams, or else she just didn't dream at all. This one was so real to her... and cold. Just thinking about it made her skin crawl... Lucinda shook the images away and slid out of bed.

"Ugh," she groaned, feeling her damp nightgown. It was soaked with sweat. She stripped down to her underwear and put a bathrobe over her body, tying it tight. Then she crossed to the window and looked out. She saw nothing. The darkness was too immense. It consumed the entire world outside and swallowed it whole. She could see the faintest outline of trees off in the distance, but that was all. It seemed as if time had stopped. Nothing moved. Not a sound was heard... The silence was unnerving. It pounded down on her ears and she stifled a sob. _Where did _that_ come from?_ It wasn't like she was afraid of the dark or anything. She just didn't like to be alone. Solitude forced her to think of, well... _solitude._... And then she suddenly felt very alone. Her face reflected off the glass; it was empty... and that scared her, so she turned away from the window and walked back to her bed.

_I wonder if Severus is sleeping peacefully right now..._ Lucinda thought, sitting down. Then she shook her head. _No. Don't even think about it. You really _will_ get caught!_ Her sheets were drenched with sweat, so she pulled the top blanket up over them and laid on top. She closed her eyes and let the darkness consume her, pushing her feelings aside... But, it didn't make any difference. She was still troubled by her dream and her body ached for Severus and longed to be near him. Lucinda took a deep breath and told herself she'd tie her arms to the bedposts if need be. She was _not_ going to go down there... For one thing, he was probably asleep _anyway_ and another thing, she didn't even know _where_ he slept. It was pointless and stupid. It was foolish and reckless. It would get her caught, for sure! She was not going, she was _not_ going. It was completely moronic and senseless. It was senile. It was... Sigh, inevitable...

Five minutes later, Lucinda was making her way down to the entrance hall, her bare feet freezing, and only a cotton bathrobe enveloping her body. She went into the door to her right, once she was at the bottom of the staircase. She was only going to check on him. _Check on him?_ She thought, feeling idiotic. _I sound like a paranoid mother, going to see if her child is still in their bed!_

It was a lot colder in the dungeons at night than it was in the daytime. She'd have been able to see her breath, if she could see anything at all (She hated herself for forgetting her wand). So, Lucinda felt her way along the cold steps and the damp, rough walls, hoping she'd be able to remember how to get to his office. _He must have sleeping quarters_ _that are connected to his office, _she thought, reasonably. _That's the most convenient thing to do._

She continued to wander the dungeon corridors, almost completely blind to all senses except her hearing. That was the only way she narrowly escaped an encounter with a Prefect. She heard him coming and quickly turned into a doorway, flattening herself against the wall. He never noticed her and continued on his way. Lucinda found herself lost, though, after that. She traced her steps back, again and again, but it was no use. She was definitely lost... And her feet were _really _cold now. Why hadn't she thought to put some socks or shoes on?! She cursed herself several times before trying, once again, to find the door to Snape's office.

And then, suddenly, there it was... the door to Professor Snape's office. She only prayed he didn't lock it. _Then_ what would she do? Lucinda noticed that there was a faint orange-y glow coming from under the door. She didn't think anything of it. Perhaps he just left an orb on. She grabbed the knob and turned... It was unlocked! Relief flooded her, as she pushed the door open... The light _was_ on. Why was the light on at _this_ hour of the night?


	8. Sleepover

**A/n:** Yep. This is it. Forgive me, forgive me... :bows excessively: And I'm not very proud of this chapter, either. It feels like I could've done better, but... I can't. It was the best I could do in my current state of mind. Please, review. _Pleeease?!_

**Chapter Eight**

Snape looked up from his desk, quite sharply, startled that someone was coming into his office at almost three o'clock in the morning. Didn't people _sleep_ in this place? And what about his door? He could have sworn he'd locked it behind him. Maybe not, then... I mean, what reason did he have to lock the door, if he was going to be _in_ his office? The only person he'd be seeing was a Prefect, a teacher, or maybe the Headmaster at this time of night. But then he looked up... and saw Lucinda standing there, in a bathrobe. He gaped at her, unable to comprehend what he was seeing. _What the hell is she _doing_ here!_ Then he seemed to snap out of it and shot up from his seat in a flash, hurrying to the door, and pulled her inside. Snape glanced up and down the dungeon corridors, before he shut his office door and locked it. Then he whipped around to face her, his eyes blazing with vehemence.

"What are you _doing_ here!?" he asked fiercely. "What if somebody had seen you!?"

"I'm sorry, I just–" she said, trying to remember why she'd come in the first place. She felt really stupid now... "I... I don't really know why I came..." she continued, staring at her bare feet. "I woke up from this dream and it was really dark and quiet in my room. Like.. time had stopped or something... I felt... I felt... I don't know– Never mind. It was stupid. I'll go–" She turned on her heal and reached for the door handle. Snape threw his arm out in front of her and she froze; he'd nearly clothes-lined her!

Lucinda was startled by his quick reflexes, but got over it, as he curled an arm around her. His face was unreadable, as he led her to the chair behind his desk. He forced her into it and then said, "It isn't stupid..." Then he raised one black eyebrow. "So, what about this dream of yours?" He wasn't looking her in the eye. In fact, he was staring at her lips as she spoke.

"Well," she said, debating on whether or not there was any point left in the freaky dream, at all. "I can't really remember hardly any of it, but... it made me feel..." He looked at her eyes.

"What?" he asked, his hands absentmindedly resting on her shoulders.

"Well, it made me feel _bad!_" she said honestly. "Like... Like I was... _dead_ inside..." Snape didn't reply. His eyes flashed rapidly between her eyes and her lips. Those perfect, dark eyes; those flawless, pink lips... Her presence was becoming almost addicting to him.

Snape placed his hands on the back of her neck and gently pulled her toward him. She closed her eyes as he lightly kissed her forehead. Man, she could really get used to that. It made her scalp tingle... When he released her again, and straightened up, she immediately said, "So, why are _you_ up so late?" He faltered.

"Oh," he said and ran his fingers through his hair in agitation. "Peeves... We were dealing with him all evening, so I never got my work completed... I've just finished it, though."

"That's good," she said , uncomfortably. He was looking at her, obviously waiting for something more of an explanation as to why she was _really_ in his office. Lucinda was silent. She crossed her legs and looked around the room. He had a few glowing orbs hanging off of the ceiling and the torches were lit for more light. The room had a very peaceful feeling, but it was rather hotter than she remembered it being before. Lucinda wasn't complaining, though, because the dungeons were _freezing_ at night, as she just recently discovered. She breathed in through her nose, holding the air there in her lungs, and was immediately hit with the aroma of Snape's lightly, cinnamon-scented robes. Why did he have to smell like that? It was all she could do to stop her mouth from watering...

Snape watched her, unable to look away. Had this beautiful creature really kissed him the day before? _Willingly? _The robe she was wearing was dangerously loose and threatened to fall off completely. He could see the tops of her breasts peeking out and the bottom of the robe concealed only one of her legs (the right one crossed over the left). He could just barely see the hem of her underwear. If only the robe was open just a little more... Then he could possibly get a quick glance–

Snape looked away instantly. He shouldn't be thinking about things like this! He was a respectful man, though, the asshole that he was. He'd _never_ take advantage of her, never...! Unless... Well, unless she wanted him to, of course. But, even then, he'd make sure she was absolutely fine with it...

"Severus?" Lucinda asked, the worry showing in her voice. He moaned internally at the sound of his name on her lips.

"...Yes?" he asked, his voice thick and hoarse.

"Are... you okay?" she replied, standing up and causing the robe to flash more skin than it should have. Snape's knees buckled and he hit the floor.

"Severus!" Lucinda said, crouching down beside him. "Are you alright? What's wrong?"

He just covered his eyes with one hand and waved her away with the other.

"Please, Lucinda," he said in agony. "Tie up your robe, before I have a heart attack!"

Lucinda gasped and turned away from him, immediately pulling the sash on her robe tighter. That startled her. She wasn't expecting him to say something like that. Should she have put something more on, before she'd left to come down here? Yes... She definitely thought that was apparent, now. But, why did he act the way he did...? Did she really have that strong of an affect on him...? Well, she couldn't deny that she felt the same way... Just looking at him made her heart race at an incredible speed.

Snape flipped over and reclined to sitting on the green rug on his floor. He was still breathing heavily, but he no longer had the urge to throw Lucinda onto his desk and rip that robe clean off of her body... Well, okay, that was a lie. He still wanted to do it. But he could control himself, now that she wasn't displaying excessive amounts of bare flesh, right in front of his face. He just needed to sit and think a moment. As long as she didn't touch him, he was alright...

Lucinda walked back to Snape and sat at his side. He didn't look at her, but she kept her eyes glued to his face. His forehead was a little sweaty and Lucinda wondered if she was making him nervous... _Probably not_, she thought. _What's there to be nervous about? It's not like I'm this beautifully gorgeous woman... I'm just a seventeen year old girl with a crush..._ Snape sighed and watched Lucinda bring her knees up to her chest and hug her legs. She looked faintly upset. What the hell did she expect from him? They'd only been together for, what, a _day?_ He was _not_ going to go that far already... Well... Of course, he _wanted _to, but it was completely out of the question. For one, she wasn't even _legal_ (though, he wasn't _that_ much older than her), and two, there was no way in hell she was emotionally or mentally ready for something like sex... Unless, she wasn't a virgin. Snape shook his head. _Of _course_ she's a fucking virgin!_ His mind screamed. _She does _not_ look like the type of girl who'd sleep with just anybody!_

"So," he said, looking at her now from the corner of his eye. "Why did you really come?" He had to be sure.

"I already told–"

"Well, I think you've left something out," he interrupted; she looked taken aback, but a tad guilty. "What exactly were your intentions?"

Lucinda knew why she'd come, but didn't want to say so. Oh, she told the truth about the dream and being frightened, but she'd failed to mention something else... It was a bit embarrassing, after all, and she didn't even know if her body was being truthful with her. Were these sudden urges normal? What if it was just raging hormones that had her walking the halls of Hogwarts at such a late hour of the night? She couldn't be sure... Snape was awaiting her answer, but she didn't say anything. They were sitting side-by-side and Lucinda could hear her heart beating in her throat. God, he smelled so good; that earthy, autumn kind of smell, with summer spices woven into it. It was indescribable, yet perfect in every way. And he had nice, broad shoulders. Lucinda just wanted to wrap her arms around them and... she didn't know what... She'd never wanted to be so close to someone in her life. It was strange. It was exciting. It was–... killing her... It really was. She couldn't hold back any longer–

Snape wasn't expecting Lucinda to suddenly shove him over and pin him to the floor. He was in the middle of contemplating how best to get her out of his office, so that he didn't do exactly what he was now about to do. He could have easily pushed her off (she hardly weighed a thing), but she'd taken him by great surprise. He fought to keep his mind right, as she worked her mouth vigorously over his own. Since when did she get so bold! And her hands were _everywhere_; on his face, in his hair, inside his robes, and along his chest and neck. Snape begged his body to remain calm, but it wasn't working. The heat radiating from her body was enormous and only served to arouse him further. She just felt so... _good._

Lucinda wasn't aware of the growing pressure underneath her. She was concentrating on satisfying her own urge to touch him as much as she could. He still had all of his clothes on, but she was trying her best to feel through them. She ran her hands up and down his abdominals, feeling the tight muscles quaking against her palms, as his strong, solid arms wrapped around her back. Who knew Professor Snape was so _built_? He always wore so many layers... So, it was hard to tell if he was, you know, physically gifted, so-to-speak.

Lucinda suddenly felt Snape's body tense. He couldn't hold back any longer, now. She'd pushed him to the edge and it was going to be very difficult to restrain himself... _Fuck it_... He rolled her over, in one swift move, and seized her neck with his teeth. Lucinda let out and gasp and then moaned, thus, causing Snape to finally rip open her robe...

And then he froze.

Her chest was completely exposed to him, ready to be touched by his hands for the first time... and he simply stared at her. Yes, she was very beautiful, so he was admiring her biological make up, but something else stopped him... He had secretly been wanting to touch her like this, ever since the first day he'd met her, when she'd told him that Potions was her favorite subject. She was all he ever thought about throughout the day, constantly looking at her during meals and in class, and he despised himself for saying so many unkind things to her. And, now, here she was with him, willingly letting him do as he pleased to her, but he just couldn't go through with it... because she was trembling. He searched her eyes and found them staring back at him in fear.

Lucinda's whole body was shaking and Snape quickly got off of her. _What the hell was I thinking!_ He screamed inside his head. _She's just a child!...__I shouldn't have believed she was truly ready for me._ He folded the robe back over her naked breasts and pulled her into his arms as he stood; Lucinda squeezed her eyes shut and nuzzled her face into his neck. Then he carried her to another side of the office, behind a tapestry, and into a completely different room. Snape lowered her down onto something cushioned, but she kept her arms around his neck when he tried to stand up again.

"I-I'm sorry, Severus," she said, clinging to him.

He took her hands away and laid them on her stomach. "Don't apologize," he said indifferently. "I should have– I should have sent you back, as soon as you walked through my door..."

Lucinda mumbled, "Well, I'm glad you didn't, though..."

The room they were in was completely without light, so that Lucinda couldn't see Snape at all. She could only feel him standing there, at her side. There wasn't a sound to be heard, either. Just the surprisingly loud _thump, thump_ of Snape's heart, beating inside his chest.

"Is this your bed?" Lucinda asked, feeling her hands along what seemed to be a blanket.

Snape hesitated. "Yes," he replied, almost reluctantly.

"Oh, good," she sighed, folding back the covers. "I've just realized how tired I am." Then she yawned and crawled sleepily under his blankets.

"Wait a minute," he said, instantly. "Lucinda, you can't sleep here... It- It isn't right... What if someone sees us?"

She turned over and faced her back towards him. "I..." she said faintly. "I don't want to... sleep by myself tonight..." Snape shifted his weight to his other foot. "Please, Severus... Don't make me leave... I won't ask to stay again. So... just tonight... let me stay with you."

Snape sighed and crossed his arms. _What now?_ he wondered. _There's no way I'll get her to leave. And, besides, _he allowed a shiver to tremble up his spine. _I can't say no to her... Not when she says my name like that... _After a moments thought, he decided that he'd deal with things in the morning. He needed to get some sleep, if he was going to wake up in time to get her out of there before breakfast...

Lucinda listened to Snape's footsteps move around to the other side of the bed. Then she felt something brush against her cheek: it was a pillow. Snape was taking one of the pillows off of his bed.

"What are you doing?" she asked, peering through the impenetrable darkness.

"What do you think?" he said sharply. "I'm staying on the couch."

_He has a _couch_ in his room?_ Lucinda mulled, for the shortest of seconds. Then she reacted. "Wait– _I_ can sleep on the couch!" she entailed. "This is _your_ room, Severus! I'm not going to just kick you out of your own–!"

"Not another word!" he snapped. Lucinda clamped her mouth shut, instantly. "Maybe if you're quiet, I'll be able to get... an hour of sleep? Hour and a half, maybe...? But, I'll get _zero_ hours, if you keep prattling away at me!"

Lucinda turned away from him again, the air coming out of her nose in sharp, little puffs. She settled deep into his covers and spat, in a venomous whisper, "Jerk," putting every bit of her anger she could muster into the word. Everything was silent after that. Dead silent.

She didn't hear him move from the couch. Nor did she notice when he'd stepped to the side of the bed and crouched down by her face. She gave a start, when she felt his cheek brush against hers.

"I'm sorry," he whispered sincerely, his hot breath warming her ear and neck. "I wasn't trying to be an asshole... It's just very hard for me to resist climbing into this bed with you right now, when you say my name so... casually... Just go to sleep now, alright?" Then he kissed her below her jaw line, leaving his lips there a little longer than he should have, so she squirmed, nervously. He rested his palm on her forehead for a moment, hoping to calm her nerves, and then stood again when she was still. He proceeded to the other side of the room, where the couch was, and lay down.

"Severus..." Lucinda said, after he'd fallen silent. Snape groaned. "Sorry," she said quickly. "I just wanted to say... Goodnight... And thank you..." He was silent again.

Snape sighed.

"Goodnight, little girl..."


	9. Talks

**A/n-- **Chapter _nine_? When the heck did _that_ happen?! Ha... Just joking. Well, since I really don't have anything else to say about this particular chapter, I'll advertise... Go read "Seasons" by my friend kokoronoitami! It's a Predator fic and it is AMAZING!! Anyways, you know, I can't improve my writing skills if no one reviews... Please review.. walks out whistling

**Chapter Nine**

"What the hell!" came Aurora's voice, once again.

Lucinda opened her eyes and looked up. She saw the canopy to her four-poster and Aurora's beautifully angry face looming over her. By the look of the light filtering in through the window, it was early morning. Had it all just been a dream? Did she really never leave her bed last night? If so, why did Aurora look like she was going to start screaming at the top of her lungs? Lucinda felt under the covers... Her robe was on! Then that meant... Well, that meant it really happened...

But, what was she doing back in her dormitory? How had she gotten there...? Surely, Snape wouldn't have brought her back up, himself... would he? It was a great risk. He could've been caught by _anyone_. How would that look to a teacher passing by; Snape carrying a female student (in a _bathrobe_, no less) out of his office and up to Gryffindor Tower– Wait a minute... Snape didn't even know the password into the common room. He _couldn't_ have brought her up there... right?

"I woke up at three last night and you weren't here!" Aurora continued, pulling Lucinda out of her thoughts, looking about ready to slap her. "And now, here you are in the morning...! And what the hell is _this?!_" she added, holding up a small piece of parchment.

Lucinda sat up and took it from her, turning it over. It only had five words on it:

_Courtesy of the House Elves_

Lucinda looked up at Aurora in shock.

"They must've magicked me here some how!"

Aurora's face, if possible, looked even more outraged, as she exploded, "FROM _WHERE_?!" Lucinda hung her head in shame. Aurora already hated Snape. Lucinda knew she was going to be mad that she snuck out so late to see him. But... she also knew that she wouldn't be able to keep it a secret from her either.

Lucinda told Aurora everything that happened the night before: from the moment she woke up from her nightmare, to the time where she finally fell into a restless sleep in Snape's bed. Aurora made disapproving noises throughout the entire thing, but both of their cheeks went red at the most intimate parts and Aurora gasped loudly at the mention of Lucinda's robe being torn open. It was a very shocking statement.

"Well," Aurora said, after Lucinda was done. "Don't you think you guys are taking things a little... um... fast?"

Lucinda faltered. "W-well, yeah, I know!" she said, exasperated. "I've already told him that I wouldn't do it again... And don't blame this on Severus," she added, sternly. "He insisted on us not even sleeping in the same bed together for a _reason_."

"Yeah, because he knows he's just a big pervert," Aurora mumbled. "And _you_!" she said loudly, then. "I can't believe you went down there so late at night! What is _wrong_ with you?!"

The room fell silent as Lucinda stared down at her bed covers. "I'm sorry, Aurora..." she said quietly. "I-... I let my emotions get the better of me." Then she looked up, her face clearly showing how sorry she was. "I'm not going to do it again, I promise."

Aurora looked a little uncomfortable, because of Lucinda's sudden sincerity... But, non-the-less, she laid a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Hey," she said reasonably. "It happens to us all at some point. Your heart was just... blind, or something."

Lucinda looked at her skeptically. "What does that even _mean_?"

Aurora shook her head. "I have no idea."

Lucinda chuckled and then got out of bed. "Okay," she said, pulling off her robe. "Let's go now, breakfast is probably almost over!"

They left Gryffindor Tower, a few minutes later, and headed down to the Great Hall. On their way, Aurora nearly tripped over a gray cat that was lying on the stairs, apparently unaffected by the sea of students passing over it.

"Gyah!" Aurora exclaimed angrily, almost falling over. "That damned cat is going to _kill_ somebody some day!" The cat hissed and stalked off up the stairs.

"Who's cat is that?" asked Lucinda, as they continued down the steps.

"Filch's," she replied, acting as if the name was making her nauseated just saying it. "He's the caretaker here and the cat's name is Mrs. Norris... They're both bloody bastards."

They reached the Great Hall and went inside. As Aurora scanned the Gryffindor table for Clover, Lucinda was scanning the staff table for Snape. He was sitting by Dumbledore, talking to him between sips of pumpkin juice. When she caught his eye, he gave her a slight nod of the head that only she saw. Lucinda smiled at him and he raised his eyebrows in a way that said, "Do you really think it's wise to be seen smiling at me?" She rolled her eyes and hurried to the spot Aurora was saving for her.

Things were quiet and normal through most of breakfast. They all talked about going to Hogsmeade that upcoming weekend and Lucinda was very excited, since she'd never been there before. They had just started to discuss the Shrieking Shack, when Lucinda felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Oh!" she said, when she looked to see who it was. "Hello, Tristin."

Tristin Samael stood there, black eyes shining, and towering over them all.

"Hi, Lucinda," he said, smiling. "How are you liking Hogwarts so far?" He sat down beside her. Immediately, her hair seemed to stand on end and she felt her heart slightly pick up pace.

"Oh," she said, collecting her thoughts. "It's great. I'm really enjoying myself, actually." Aurora shot her a disgusted look, which she ignored.

"That's good," Tristin said, nodding. Lucinda's stomach did a flip. He looked just like... "Well, listen," he continued. "If you ever have any questions, just ask me, as it _is_ my duty as Prefect." He smiled heartily again, patting her on the arm, and then got up and walked away. Lucinda watched his tall, dark form shrink from sight, and out of the Great Hall.

"I think he's taken a liking to you," said Clover.

"_What?_" said Lucinda, her face going red. "No, I'm sure it's just because I'm new here... I mean, he said it himself: It's his duty as Prefect."

They all looked at her doubtfully.

"Lucinda," Aurora said, shaking her head a little. "I know I said he's nice and everything, but he's still a Slytherin, and you can _never_ trust a Slytherin." Lucinda glanced at Snape. Did that mean she shouldn't trust _him_, either? Aurora seemed to guess what she was thinking and said quickly, "But, I guess it depends on who it is!" Lucinda continued to stare up at him, taking in Aurora's words. She didn't know _what_ to believe anymore...

Snape had been watching while Samael was talking to Lucinda and sitting at her side. It slightly burned him up inside. Why was this boy suddenly so interested in her? Slytherins never conversed with Gryffindors. They were undisputed enemies... Well, Snape, himself, was a Slytherin, but that was different... wasn't it?

He watched her skin turn red, as Samael was leaving the Great Hall. Did she blush that easily with _everyone_...? Lucinda was looking at him now. He couldn't read her expression. Was it worry? Concern? There was no way to tell.

"I'm gonna go, you guys," said Lucinda, standing up from the table. "Potions is going to start in a little while and I need to... go get my book."

She walked out of the Great Hall, leaving behind a dumbfounded Clover and Aurora, and Snape watched her go. She looked over her shoulder as she passed through the doors; he wondered about the peculiar expression on her face. What did she want...? Him to follow her?

Professor Snape excused himself and got up from the staff table. When he reached the entrance hall, he found Lucinda standing by the door to the dungeons.

"What are you–?" he began, but she cut him off.

"I wanted to talk to you before class started."

She looked at him for a moment, before entering the door beside her. Snape hesitated, mostly out of confusion, but then followed.

As they walked down the dungeon steps (walking relatively close, actually), he could smell his scent still lingering on her skin. Snape was surprised at how much satisfaction this gave him; to feel like she was completely his and no one else was allowed to claim her. Though, he wasn't even sure if they were an item or not. She'd already spent the night in his room, but what could he have done? He told her she shouldn't have come, but he didn't exactly push her back out the door, either. Yes, he was feeling a bit guilty now. This mere seventeen year old... _Wait a minute_ he thought. _She'll be eighteen soon enough_. He watched her from the corner of his eye. _Yes, _he continued to muse._ Then we can possibly let this_..._ progress_.

He continued to watch her out of his peripheral vision. Why...? Why in god's name did she like him?

Lucinda didn't look at him the entire time they descended down below Hogwarts. She felt embarrassed, almost ashamed, for what she'd tried to do. _And then I actually ended up shaking all over the place_ she thought, bitterly._ I couldn't even handle him _seeing_ me!_ But, it wasn't _completely_ her fault. He was the adult, so _he_ should have been responsible enough to refuse her. Lucinda cursed herself. Now she was just pointing fingers, when, in reality, _she_ was the one to blame.

"So," Snape said, after they'd entered his classroom. "What's wrong?" He started writing a Potions recipe on the board, as Lucinda sat down at one of the tables.

"Well," she said, taking a deep breath. "For starters, I'd like to tell you that I'm... I'm really, very sorry for... for coming last night." Snape's hand came to a halt and the chalk clattered to the floor.

"You don't have to apologize– "

"But I want to!" she_ s_aid, desperately. "I feel so terrible for going and– and for what I did. I'll understand completely if you can't forgive me... God, I was being so _stupid!_"

Snape spun around. "Stop it! Stop it right now!" he said, almost angrily. "I won't let you take all of the blame for this! _I_ should've sent you back as soon as you walked in!"

Lucinda looked at the table top. "But, you didn't, though," she said quietly.

_Gawd_ he thought._ Way to make me feel worse, why don't you? _"Yes, I know I didn't send you back," he said, with all the dignity he could muster. "I knew it was wrong of me to allow you to stay, but..." he swallowed. "Well, part of me just didn't give a damn. I was kind of... _glad_ you showed up in my office at an ungodly hour of the night... But you still shouldn't have!" he added, looking slightly angry again.

Lucinda nodded. "I know," she said. "And it won't happen again, I promise."

Snape straightened up. "Good," he said crisply, picking the chalk up again. Then he started writing out a list of ingredients on the board. Lucinda watched him, her chin in her hands. It was fascinating, how much he changed within mere seconds. He took his work very seriously and she realized that was another reason why she was so drawn to him. Any man who was dedicated to his job, and was willing to work hard for it, was _definitely_ worth her time.

Lucinda looked down. What was going to happen in class now? How was he going to treat her in front of everyone else? She dreaded the thought of being his main point of insults again. Lucinda decided to take her mind off of that subject.

"Professor, how old are you?" she asked suddenly. Snape accidently snapped the chalk in two. Lucinda recoiled and said quickly, "Sorry. Never mind." Snape sighed and continued with a new piece of chalk, as Lucinda got up and walked to the back of the class. She walked along the wall for a minute, until she reached a cabinet that stood in the very back of the room.

"What are you doing, Lucinda?" he asked, not looking up from the notes he'd just written. Lucinda had the cabinet door open, where she was shuffling through a variety of glass jars and bottles.

"Um," she said, continuing to search. "I figured you'd have... more of it... somewhere– where is it...?"

Snape turned around. It's not like he really cared that she was going through his stuff, but what if there was something in there that might gross her out, or something? He didn't know much about girls, but he _did_ remember that the majority of female students he'd had, so far, always started screaming, every time they'd seen a jar of frog preserves, or something like that (They were always so squeamish, Snape just didn't get it). But then he saw what she was pulling out of the cabinet.

"Ah, here it is," she said, holding a very small bottle of clear liquid. "I haven't taken mine yet, so I– "

"WAIT!" Snape exclaimed, walking quickly over to her. "Not that! That's not it!" He snatched it out of her hands and put it back in its place.

"W-what?" she said, startled. "What's wrong?"

He picked up a different bottle and handed it to her. "_This_ is your insulin," he said, a little out of breath. "Don't touch anything else in there, alright? Not _ever_."

Lucinda frowned. "O-okay," she said, a little frightened by his outburst. "But, what's in the other bottle? Is it dangerous or something?"

Snape closed the cabinet and then led her back to her seat. "Veritaserum; a very strong truth potion. I don't really have much of it in stock right now..." he explained, watching her take the insulin. "It isn't harmful, exactly, but... I don't know what its effects are, if taken by injection." He eyed her puzzled expression for a moment. Then she tilted her head to the side and squinted at the sunlight coming through the tiny windows above.

"Veritaserum..." she mumbled. "I know what it is... It's been used on me before."

"It _has?_" he asked, dumbfounded.

"Yeah," she said, shrugging. "I used to lie a lot when I was younger. It was the only way they could get me to tell the truth."

"That's just–... barbaric," Snape said, shaking his head.

Lucinda laughed. "What are you talking about?" she said. "You know you would've done the same thing."

He opened his mouth in protest, but then closed it again. "I cannot deny that you are correct in that assumption," he sighed, walking to the classroom door. Lucinda watched his expression carefully. His brow was knit and he was staring into space, as if lost in thought.

There were a few students already waiting outside the room and they sat down once they were let inside. A few minutes later, more students came, including Aurora and Gabe.

"Hey," said Aurora, sitting down beside her. "Ahh, man," she added, looking at the board. "Notes? I hate notes..."

After everyone was inside, Snape shut the door and began his instructions for the day's lesson. He paced the floor, hands behind his back, as he instructed them to copy what was on the black board. Aurora waited until he was finished, before she, as she usually did, shot her hand into the air.

"Yes, Miss Borealis?" he asked. "What is it?"

Aurora stared at him blankly. Then she seemed to notice that the hand that was in the air was her own, and quickly put it down. "Oh," she said, screwing up her eyes, as if she had a headache coming on. "I... I dunno. I guess it's just a habit now. Sorry." Snape continued back to his desk and sat down, but not for long... Within only a few short minutes, Aurora had her hand up again.

"_Yes?_" he asked, a little impatiently.

"Woah, this is cool," Aurora said, her eyes wide with wonder. Lucinda snorted and Snape sighed in agitation.

The lesson continued on like this for most of the hour. Every time Snape actually acknowledged Aurora's presence, she gaped at him in shock, thus, causing him to become irritable, until he finally deducted points from Gryffindor. This finally made Aurora shutup, though. Then, quite suddenly, class was over with and everyone was leaving the room. Aurora was pushing Lucinda, quite forcefully, out the door, so she only had time to mouth a quick "sorry" at Snape, and then left.

As they made their way to Transfiguration, they were met by Adam Baily, who looked exceptionally pleased to see Aurora.

"Hello," he said to them all; Aurora's face turned pink and she looked at her feet. "Can I walk with you guys?" No one had any objections to this, so the four of them continued on their way.

"I hope I'm not being too direct, but..." said Adam, his oh-so-cute dimples showing. "I was wondering, Aurora, if you'd like to go with me to Hogsmeade this weekend..."

They all looked expectantly at Aurora. She blushed again and mumbled a quiet, "Okay." Adam beamed and bid them all goodbye once they reached Professor McGonagall's classroom. When the three of them all found seats next to Clover, he peered at his sister suspiciously.

"Hey..." he said, slowly. "Why does your face look like a ripe tomato?"

Aurora glared at Clover, the glazed over look in her eyes gone, and then flicked his nose, causing him to pout the rest of the hour.


	10. Hogsmeade

**A/n– **I'm not in High School anymore!Ahh man, it feels really weird to say that.. And it hasn't really sank in either! I've been going to High Schoolfor, what, four years now (haha), and now I'm suddenly waking up at nine or ten instead of six and trying to figure out what to do in my spare time. Sighh... It's so sad... Oh my gosh! Right! I haven't written in, like, two months! Has it honestly been that long?? Urghh... I dunno. I'm sorry, though! I really am. I had to study forfinals and I also just wasn't in the "writing mood". But, I am now.So, get ready for things to pick up where they left off!

**Chapter Ten**

Lucinda had planned to ask Snape about Hogsmeade the next time she got the chance. She didn't really know _what_ she was going to ask, but... she felt that she should. They were a couple now, right? So, why _shouldn't_ they go somewhere with one another? Well, of course, it wasn't as if they could go to Hogsmeade _together_, but maybe they could meet somewhere in private. Maybe take a walk where they're not recognized? There was also the problem with her friends, because she couldn't exactly meet up with her Professor in front of them without raising suspicion. Lucinda was doubtful (this whole Hogsmeade idea was proving to be more difficult than she'd thought it would), but she went to ask him anyway.

When she arrived at his classroom, there was no answer at the door... Nor, was he in the staff room, and none of the other teachers seemed to know where he was. She felt a little resentment toward him for not being where she wanted him to be, but only for a moment. Lucinda was disappointed, but she didn't have time to check his office, because everyone was leaving for Hogsmeade already. She hurried back down to the entrance hall where Clover, Gabe, Aurora, and Adam were all waiting for her.

"Sorry," she gasped, quickly thinking up a lie. "I had to drop off an assignment." No one questioned her about this, though. They were all too eager to leave and have fun _without_ being under watchful eyes. They had also taken their wardrobes into _great _consideration: Clover was in tight, black, leather pants and a red tank, Gabe had a polo shirt and jeans on, Aurora was sporting white-washed cutoffs and a striped halter, Adam was wearing a blue T-shirt and tan shorts, and Lucinda, herself, was in a white tank top and plaid skirt, which had ruffles along the bottom of it. They all looked ready to go to the mall... if there ever was such a thing around there.

The five of them headed out into the blinding sunlight, squinting up into the deep, cloudless sky, and followed the long line of students that were twisting out of the grounds of Hogwarts. It was perfect Hogsmeade weather: not too hot and not too cold, either. It was _perfect_. Lucinda was going to enjoy this day as much as she could. Everything was going to be covered in snow in just a few months, so she needed to make these remaining days of Autumn last... even if she couldn't be with Snape during them.

After only a few minutes, they were crossing the threshold into Hogsmeade, where students were quick to get inside coffee shops and the local pub. There was so much excitement and bustle in the street that Lucinda's eyes hurt trying to look at everything at once. Students were everywhere; running in and out of stores, their pockets full of sweets and goodies; gossiping frantically in the corners of shops; pointing at expensive things in windows; laughing and chasing one another... Lucinda loved every second of it. It was like a different world to her, unlike the solitude of the farm back home. There wasn't anyone around back where she grew up. The animals in the forest were her only friends.

"So, where should we go first?" Adam asked, as they continued up the cobbled road. "Are any of you guys thirsty? We could go to The Three Broomsticks..."

Clover shook his head. "Nahh..." he said, squinting around. "We need to take Plum somewhere better for her first time to Hogsmeade. Hmm..." They all joined in on the brain-storming silently.

"Oooh, I know!" Clover said, only a few moments later, bouncing up and down. "Let's take Lucy to the Shrieking Shack! She's into that kind of weird stuff, right?"

"I'm right _here_, you know..." Lucinda said, acridly. "Anyway... That sounds fine to me. What about you guys?"

"I'll meet you guys up there," Aurora said. "I wanna go get an ice cream, while it's still hot enough to. Adam..?" she added, turning to him. "Are you in the mood to get some with me?" Adam blushed and then followed her.

When they were gone, Clover addressed Gabe. "You coming?"

Gabe nodded at him, his hands in his pockets. "Be there in a minute."

Clover pouted. "Fine," he sniffed. "I guess it's just you and I, little Plum." He took her hand and pulled her along. Lucinda looked over her shoulder and waved goodbye to Gabe, but he was already gone.

"Hey, Clover?" Lucinda inquired. "Is there something wrong with Gabe?"

Clover didn't answer right away. He was humming a lighthearted tune to himself. Then he looked sideways at her. "No, there's nothing wrong with him..." he answered. "Why do you ask?"

"I dunno," she said, staring down the road, where the top of a very old looking house was looming closer with every step. "He just always seems so... reserved." Lucinda had to make her strides longer as they began walking in a more upward direction.

Clover chuckled. "Yes... he _is_ like that isn't he?" he smiled, staring at the blue sky. "But, he's different when it's just us..."

They made their way to the top of the hill and the Shrieking Shack was finally in full view. Panting slightly, the two of them walked to the fence and leaned on it. Lucinda looked at the boarded up windows of the Shack. It had a very creepy vibe about it, but in a lonesome kind of way. It made her shiver, despite the warm sun shining.

"How is he different around you?" Lucinda asked.

Clover stared ahead, squinting. "Well," he sighed. "He talks more; a _lot_ more. And he also smiles when he's around me too..." he trailed off, still squinting in the direction of the shack. "I'm not really sure why... he doesn't act the same in front of others... He's just... shy... I guess..." He trailed off completely this time, gazing intently ahead. Lucinda looked in his line of sight, wondering, with growing curiosity, what had him so distracted. Suddenly, she saw it. There was a boy walking away from the Shrieking Shack. He had his head down and his hands in his pockets.

"Who _is_ that?" Clover asked, watching the boy draw nearer. He looked up at them as he continued to walk. He had a pale face and dark eyes; his black hair moved slightly in the dull wind and he had a narrow build.

"Wait a minute," Clover said, squinting until his eyes almost appeared closed. "I think that's Tristin."

Lucinda looked back at the boy. She hesitated a moment, before calling out, "Tristin?"

The boy stopped dead in his tracks.

"It looks like him," Lucinda said. "But what was he doing out _there?_"

"I dunno," Clover said, shrugging a little. "Wait, he's getting closer now." Lucinda looked again and saw that the boy had resumed walking, his pace quicker and more determined than before. His features started to come into view.

"That's... not Tristin..." Lucinda said, uncertainly.

He did look a lot like him (right down to the long, black hair, black eyes, and pale skin), but this boy was shorter and thinner and his nose was different. This one's nose had a more pronounced curve in it and—

"Oh my god!" Lucinda gasped, putting a hand over her mouth.

"What?! Who is it?!" Clover asked eagerly, but now the boy was so close, they could've just asked him.

"Hello, Lucinda," he said, approaching the fence, looking more at his feet than at her and crossing his arms. "Are you... disappointed?"

Lucinda gaped at him. He was so... _not_ like Tristin. "W-what?" she sputtered. "What do you mean?"

He looked at her through his curtain of black hair, sighing in frustration. "Are you disappointed that..." he glanced nervously at Clover, but continued. "That it wasn't _Samael_ walking down here?"

Lucinda stared at him in shock and then shook her head. "What in the world are you talking about...?" she said, reaching over the fence to run a hand across his forehead. "What... what did you do?"

He didn't answer. He grabbed her hand and leaned against the fence, lightly kissing her lips, relieved that she _wasn't_ disappointed to see him. He had gone through a lot to be there...

Lucinda felt her toes curl at his gentle touch. It was a strange feeling to be kissed by him in his current condition, but not at all a bad one. If anything, it was kind of... exotic. But... how had he done it?

"_AHEM!_"

Lucinda turned around abruptly and saw Aurora standing there, the ice cream in her hand about to be squeezed to death and dropped all over the ground. her face was turning purple with the force of trying to keep from screaming. Everyone else was standing around, looking rightfully confused.

"Oh..! Um..." Lucinda said, stepping away from the boy. "Could you guys give us one second... I'll explain in just a moment, I swear."

Aurora would have shot lava out of her fingertips if she could. Seriously, if she could've gotten away with it, she would've fried them both alive, right there. The others just kind of shrugged and backed off, but Aurora glared hatefully at Lucinda and the boy. Nothing was said for the longest time. Finally, the silvery-haired girl turned around sharply and strode away several paces. Then she pivoted and glued her eyes to them, refusing to give them _too_ much privacy.

The boy leapt over the fence and stood in front of Lucinda.

"How–" she began. "What did you do?"

He ran his fingers through his hair. "Aging potion..." he said, looking at her with his eyebrows raised. "It was the only way to keep from drawing attention if we were together."

"Severus..." she whispered, putting her hands on either side of his face. He couldn't have been older than sixteen or seventeen.

"Don't say that," he said quickly, his face twisting in torment. "Please don't say my name... I can't stand it." When he saw the puzzled expression on her face, he added, "Well, for one thing, you shouldn't say my name at all, incase someone hears, and... for another thing..." He reached up and touched her mouth with his tiny fingertips. "When I hear my name... escaping from your lips... it... pleases me..." He barely got the last bit out and finished by pulling her in for another kiss, unable to refrain from doing so any longer. Lucinda closed her eyes and shuddered with the force of it. They broke apart and she breathed him in deeply, noticing that he still smelled like cinnamon, despite the change in age.

"Wait a minute," she said, suddenly, looking at the jeans and black, long-sleeved shirt he had on. "How did you get those clothes?"

Snape looked down at himself and then shrugged very subtly. "The Room of Requirement. I just went in there, looking for-... Oh, never mind. They were just... around," he looked up at the group of people watching them. "I think your friends are missing you, Lucinda."

Lucinda looked at the four, indeed watching them. They were all whispering to each other and Clover kept smirking.

"You can come over now," she called.

"Lucinda–" Snape said, sounding genuinely nervous.

"Don't worry," she whispered, stepping away from him. "The only one who can tell is Aurora."

"And I'm supposed to be _comforted_ by this?!" he said, incredulously.

Lucinda ignored him, because her friends were now in earshot.

"Hey," said Clover. "Who's your- uh- friend?" They all looked at her expectantly.

Lucinda looked at Snape. He was looking from her to the others nervously. "Umm," she said. "This is... my boyfriend." Snape stared at her, his mouth hanging partially open. Did she really just say that in front of everyone? Wasn't she afraid of the consequences it would bring her later on? _No, what am I thinking?_ He thought with a smirk. _I'm glad she said it. Now I can claim her as mine in front of them all..._

"Oh!" Clover said, shocked. They all crowded around, trying to get a better look at him. "I don't think I've ever seen you before, but... I guess you look familiar... What House do you belong to?"

Snape didn't say anything for a minute. He was struggling to keep from touching any of them. Then, finally, he said irritably, "Slytherin." They all gaped at him, dismayed looks on their faces.

"Seriously?" Adam asked. "Like, _seriously_?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you, Baily?" Snape spat, his eyes narrowing. "You got something against Slythern, you nitwi–mff!" Lucinda clamped her hand over his mouth before he could continue.

Aurora walked up, close to his face, her arms crossed over her chest. "So," she said coldly, her eyes agleam. "What's your name, then?"

Lucinda slowly pulled her hand away from his mouth, shaking her head at Aurora and mouthing the word "don't" at her.

Snape folded his delicate arms over his small-framed chest and sneered at the silver-haired girl in front of him. "My name is Sever–"

Before he finished, Lucinda had a sudden fit of coughing and everyone stared at her in alarm; Clover patting her back the whole time. Aurora glared at her when she'd stopped the charade.

"Ahem," Lucinda said. "Sorry 'bout that... What he was going to say was, his name is..." She glanced at him, her eyes pleading for his help. She didn't want things to end like this, because, well, there was no way they would all keep it a secret that she was dating her teacher. He had to realize that...

Snape looked back at her. She was staring at him so intently it was ridiculous. It wasn't as if anyone else was going to hear him say it. He wasn't _that_ proud, as to give himself away so quickly... maybe. Oh well... His pride would have to take a blunder... Snape looked down, thoroughly defeated.

"My name is Severns," he said with a sigh. "Malcolm Severns." Lucinda let out a silent sigh of relief, as Snape walked to the other side of her, slid an arm around her waist, and said in a threatening voice, "And this is my girlfriend. So, every other heterosexual male on this planet can stay the hell away from her." Lucinda's cheeks burned. What the heck was he saying to them?! _Stop it!_ Her mind yelled at him. _Not only is this extremely embarrassing, but you're being entirely rude to them! _

"Didn't you guys just meet?" Gabe asked, suddenly.

Lucinda was lost for words. "Oh, um.. W-well, yeah, I gue–"

"–We've only been going to school about a week..." he continued, his face completely unreadable. "That means you couldn't have known each other very long..."

Lucinda and Snape looked at Gabe and then at one another. It was true...

"I... I know," Snape said, turning his eyes to the ground. "It might not have been right, but... I couldn't help it... As soon as I saw her, I just... I um... I couldn't... keep from, uhh..." Lucinda could tell he would rather _not_ talk about his feelings with people he didn't even like, so she put a hand on his arm and he seemed to find relief from it.

"I kind of want some ice cream now," she said, to change the subject. "Malcolm?" she added, turning to him. "Ice cream?"

Snape rolled his eyes at her and extended his arm out, palm up. "Lead the way, then."

As they made their way back into Hogsmeade village, everyone stared at each other, wondering who should speak first. It was an awkward kind of silence, no doubt the kind that Snape preferred, as opposed to all of them talking, but no one seemed to have anything to say. No one... except Adam, of course.

"Has anybody ever told you that you look like Tristin Samael?"


	11. Accidents Happen

**Authors Note:** Hey there guys. Do you know how sorry I am? Honestly, I cannot even tell you how deeply sorry I really am. I went so long without updating. That won't happen again. I promise. Well, actually... Maybe I shouldn't promise something like that, since I really don't know if I'll go that long without updating again or not. Then I guess I should say I will try TRY to update more often. Oh yes. Speaking of which. Because of my extremely long absence, I will be adding_ another _chapter within a week. You guys deserve it for being so patient. Oh yeah, by the way. I no longer have a writing program on my laptop, so now I have to resort to typing my chapters up on "Word Pad". How completely pathetic is that? Yes, I know. Anyway, so if there are spelling or punctuation mistakes, I apologize if I never caught them. Thank you for reading!

:Gravity:

**Chapter Eleven**

The windows inside the Potions classroom were growing dark as the sun set outside. Lucinda was sitting on one of the tables, her legs crossed, leaning on her elbows and examining the Potions essay that was in front of her. She heaved a sigh and plopped her chin into the palms of her hands. It was easy for her to do, but not when she was only a few feet away from the man sitting at his desk. It was extremely distracting with him watching her. She didn't mind, exactly, but it did make it a bit difficult to write. Every time she started a swift steady rhythm with her quill, she'd feel his eyes burning into the side of her face and her hand would slip, causing her to have to start over again. Lucinda sighed and decided to take a break and just lay there a moment.

He was watching her, it was true, but he wasn't trying to. Snape was a few feet away, at his desk, trying his hardest not to look up at her every thirty seconds. He wasn't usually like this, but he could smell her freshly shampooed hair all the way from where he sat. It was a nice scent. Like clean laundry or a new book. _No_ he thought _That hardly does it justice. It's like the aroma of an ocean breeze or..._

Snape ran his fingers roughly through his own hair and glared down at the paper on his desk. She was distracting him... with something as ridiculous as the smell of her hair. He needed to get back to work. He'd hardly written a thing in the hour that they'd been in there and he had a class first thing in the morning. _But_ he thought, looking back up at her, once again. _Why does she have to be wearing that thing? _

He was indicating the skirt she had on. It was one of her shorter ones from her collection, but the position she was sitting in, on the table, made it rise threateningly close to the crease where her thighs met her pelvis. She also had her shoes off. She couldn't wear them cross-legged, because they pressed into her calves and gave her bruises. Instead, they were tossed on the floor of the potions classroom, where they wouldn't be moved again, until she left. Lucinda wiggled her toes as she hummed to herself. She actually had a very beautiful singing voice, but she scarcely ever let anyone hear her. Plus, she only ever really sang, to her voice's full extent, when she was either very sad or very lonely. Neither of which was she at the moment.

Lucinda felt him staring and looked over at him. Her dark eyes met his and flashed in the glimmer of the torches he'd lit only a few minutes prior, but he didn't look away. He stared back into her black irises and twitched his eyebrows up very subtly for half a second. Then he pursed his lips and sighed, staring down at his desk again. He appeared as though he were thinking about something intently for the next few minutes. His face gradually pulled down into a glower by the third minute and he puffed the air angrily out of his nostrils by the fourth. Lucinda looked up at him curiously. Then she heard him mutter, "Samael" in disgust under his breath.

Lucinda rolled her eyes and dropped to the floor. "Why does it bother you that much?" she asked exasperated.

Snape looked up in mock surprise, "What? I'm sorry, did you say something?"

Lucinda sighed and took a few steps to his desk, her tiny, pink feet making small _pat pat _noises on the stone floor. Then she peered down at the parchment in front of him.

"Hmm," she said, tapping her chin. "Two sentences in an hour... That's not bad!"

Snape snatched the paper away and crumpled it up, throwing it across the room. Lucinda dropped her hands to her side and sighed again in frustration. He didn't look up. Nor did he make an incentive to show that he knew she was upset at all. He merely continued to glare down at his desk, his nostrils flaring out every time he took a breath.

"Severus..." Lucinda whimpered, slowly walking around his desk. Snape's hands clenched tightly around the sides of his chair at her tone and his back went rigid. What the hell was she trying to do to him?! Using that sultry voice of hers. That cooing tone... He kept his eyes on the various papers that cluttered his desk and tried to ignore her, as her hands slid up the backs of his arms and came to rest on the tops of his shoulders.

She paused then and leaned down next to his ear. "Severus," she said again, this time with more allure to her voice. "You just need to… _relax_."

Professor Snape groaned in pleasure when she said this word, because she suddenly pressed her thumbs into the knots in his back muscles. He wasn't expecting it to feel so good, and his breathe caught in his throat. Lucinda giggled. She knew him better than he thought, though, he liked to deny it as long as he could.

"So, honestly…" Lucinda said, firmly running her thumbs up and down either side of his spine. "What is your problem with Tristin?"

Snape closed his eyes and let her continue the massage for a good minute and thirty seconds more before he answered. "I don't like him," he said, bluntly. "Do I need any more reason than that?"

Lucinda scowled at the back of his raven head and deliberately applied even more pressure to his back in the more tense spots. "I need more reason than that."

Snape groaned and gripped the sides of the desk to steady himself. "Mmmm…. I don't… care," he said, breathlessly. "If you need a reason… I am not changing my… answer."

"But he hasn't even _done_ anything," she protested quietly. Snape ignored her.

She rolled her eyes at his silence, carefully trying to keep her temper in check, and decided to just dismiss the topic of Tristin for the time being. She didn't want to get him all worked up, since now he seemed to be melting into a puddle of sanctity. With this, she turned her full attention to massaging all of the stress and knots out of him, one inch at a time.

x-x-x

The back of Lucinda's thighs pressed roughly into the edge of the professor's desk and the bearer of that desk towered over her, hands firmly holding her wrists in place on either side of her head. The utter look of shock that washed over her face quickly turned to fear as she saw the gleam in his eyes. It was as if something else had made him suddenly grab her waist and hoist her onto the desk, sprawling his papers everywhere. Lucinda gasped and squeezed her thighs together out of reflex. Snape pulled her legs apart with a knee and slid between them, pressing his chest against her as he did.

"S-S-Severus!" she stuttered, trying to wriggled her hands free. This was a foolish mistake, though. As soon as her lips spoke his name, his movements quickened and he took her neck in his teeth, as once before in his office. Lucinda shuttered as a hand then slid up her shirt. Being as she wasn't strong enough to stop him with her actions, her voice was the only thing she had left. But she couldn't find her voice to do so. Her throat was unusually dry and her tongue felt like sandpaper against the roof of her mouth. Then she noticed that, even at a time like this, all she wanted was a drink of water.

"S... Severus," she said quietly. Her voice sounded very different to her. It was scared and unsure.

"Hm," was the response she got, as he continued to trail kisses along her neck and collarbone. At least he was acknowledging her...

"Severus," she said again, more confident now that she knew he was listening.

She cleared her throat and continued.

"Wait," is what she said and she said it clearly and firmly.

Snape's lips froze on the soft, powdery skin below her jawline. Then his grasp on her wrists loosened and his face came up level with hers. She saw the remorse in his haunting black eyes and sighed.

"I'm sorry..." he said simply and then nothing else.

She nodded, assuring him with a look that said it was alright. Accidents happened. He relaxed his body against hers and nuzzled his face in her neck, Lucinda's arms coming around to hold him there. Snape's breathing softened as Lucinda stroked the sides of his face. She couldn't help but feel closer to him than ever at moments like these. But it was a feeling short lived, because she couldn't take his full weight for very long. Soon, she was pushing gently against his shoulders, wanting him to get up.

Snape reluctantly got off of her, smoothing her skirt back down as he did so, and then proceeded to pick the papers up that they had knocked down. Lucinda slowly slid off the edge of the desk and walked away from him, gathering up her books and putting them back in her bag. Neither said anything for several minutes. They sat in silence, even after everything was picked up off the cold floor.

He watched her all the while, even when she thought he wasn't looking. Her fingertips, down to her barefeet. The whisps of silken chocolate hair that curled along her forehead. Pieces stuck to the parts of her skin that glistened slightly with sweat... She was the very heart of perfection. He looked down at his own slender and white fingers and glared. He was an idiot if he thought this thing with them was going to last. She was surely going to fall for someone else. Especially if they were her own _age._ And handsome. And nice. Caring, loving, considerate... These were all of the things she'd be looking for in a man. Should he say "boy" instead? Yes, she'd fall for someone else in do time. He just needed to gradually get used to the idea and begin the long process of healing the broken heart he was inevitably going to acquire... Snape nodded slowly to himself, accepting this fate. It _was_ inevitable. Looking up again, he noticed her staring at him.

"Hm?" he raised his eyebrows at her and folded his arms lazily across his upper abdominal muscles.

"The teenage version of you..." she inquired, her head cocked to the side and her legs swinging back and forth under the table she was sitting on. "He was cute."

Snape scoffed at her and rolled his eyes. "Ha, cute. No. He wasn't cute. He was..." he searched the ceiling for the right word. "He was an idiot," he finished with a hard nod, satisfied with his own answer.

Lucinda didn't answer. She mulled this over and tried to imagine her Potions Master ever being an idiot in his life. When she couldn't picture this thought at all, she imagined him in footy pajamas instead. As to why she thought of this was beyond her. Though, in her mind, he was being forced to wear them by an over-loving Aunt Clarise. Sometimes, Lucinda amazed herself with the ridiculous things that ran through her mind. Realizing her thoughts had strayed, she looked back up at her teacher.

"So..." she started, but then trailed off. She'd jumped into a sentence clumsily, without having even thought of what the contents of that sentence would be. Snape raised a single brow and waited. "Well," she continued, after thinking a minute. "You say he was an idiot... So, what kind of person are you now?"

Snape looked at her incredulously. But after he realized she was being serious, his face gradually pulled down into a grimace. After the moments pressed on, the room itself began to darken with the negativity that pulsated through the suffocatingly dense air and Snape's face darkened along with it. The look he shot her was indescribable. As if he knew something terrible that he longed to let escape from his weighted shoulders... He was torn between two things; one dangerously wrong and the other temporarily safe. The difference between them was great, but not entirely...

"Do you..." he said, pausing for several seconds to allow her time to readjust her posture from his disturbingly strong gaze. "Really want me to answer that?"

Lucinda gasped from a force unknown to her and put both hands on the table top to steady herself. Did she really want him to answer? How... How was she supposed to answer _that?_ Lucinda wasn't sure she actually wanted him to continue... So, she looked away. She looked away and didn't return his gaze. Not for several minutes. And when she finally did he was looking down at his desk, his eyes half closed. Perhaps the day had worn him out...

Gathering up her things, Lucinda walked to him and kissed his cheek. Several seconds later, she was out of the classroom and making her way back up to Gryffindor Tower.


	12. Frendo Spiritus

**A/n:** I promised you another chapter before the week was up and look. It's only been a couple of days and I already finished it. ^__^ I had so much fun writing this part. Honestly, the last couple of paragraphs made my mouth water. Is that strange? Haha. Maybe I'm just demented. I don't know. I hope you all enjoy it and leave me some feedback. Zaijian! ~3

**Chapter Twelve**

As Halloween approached, and the weather grew colder, Lucinda and Snape grew closer together. Their affair was gradually developing into a tightly bound relationship and Aurora was noticing it, as were others. No one else suspected they were intimate, of course, but students were beginning to realize that Snape acted differently when Lucinda was around. He wasn't so annoyingly arrogant and he no longer ignored half of the class that were in Gryffindor. To Lucinda's relief, they merely thought that Snape was only playing favorites with her because of her knowledge in Potions. No one was complaining, though, because Lucinda seemed to bring the best out of him... If there ever _was_ a best.

It was gloomy on Halloween. The sun didn't shine the entire day. Mostly everyone was inside, desperately trying to cheer each other up by conjuring little balls of light, letting them zoom about the common room and averting their eyes away from the foggy windows. It worked for a while, until someone was hit in the eye with one and had to go up to the hospital wing. Thus, the depression deepened within the room full of unhappy students.

Lucinda was sitting at a table by the window, helping Aurora on her Potions homework; Gabe and Clover were sitting silently in front of the fire, their eyes drooping more and more with every flicker of the flames.

"So," Aurora said quietly, as they finished up their homework. "How's everything with... you know... _him?_"

Lucinda looked up and shrugged, "It's fine."

Aurora raised her brow. "_And_..? Anything else?"

Lucinda shrugged again and said, exasperatedly, "What else _would_ there be?"

Aurora shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Well..." she said. "How... How far have you guys gone?"

Lucinda's quill dropped to the floor with a clatter. She couldn't believe Aurora had just asked her that so casually. How far had they _gone?_

"Um..." Lucinda answered, looking at the table, as her cheeks went pink. "We haven't really gone _anywhere_... We've only kissed and... Umm... Well, he's touched-"

"Touched _what?_" Aurora said instantly.

"Shh!" Lucinda hissed, looking to make sure no one else had heard. "He hasn't gone _down there_..! Just... Up north more... If you catch my drift?"

Aurora raised her silver eyebrows way up. "_Oh_..." she said mischievously. "So, he felt you up."

Lucinda put her face in her hands; her cheeks were now a deep scarlet. It was true. Her and Severus hadn't gone any further than that. But, that didn't mean he hadn't _tried_ to go further. Oh yes, he had tried a few times, but he always stopped as soon as she told him no. Lucinda knew they'd have to take the next step soon, but she was still scared. She'd never done anything except kiss before (she blamed her over-protective parents for this; always sheltering her from the world). What if she was just a disappointment? Severus had surely been with many other women besides herself. He probably knew so much more about being intimate.

Lucinda shook her head. _There's no need to worry about it right now,_ she thought. _Severus and I are perfectly fine with where we're at in our relationship..._ And thinking about that word: relationship. Lucinda and Snape were in a _relationship_... Just the thought alone made her start to giggle.

"Lucy!"

Lucinda jumped about a foot in her chair and turned her attention back to Aurora.

"Why are you sitting there with that stupid grin on your face? You're creeping me out!"

"Oh," Lucinda said, laughing a little nervously. "Sorry, just spacing out."

"You seem to do that a lot," Aurora mumbled. Then she said much louder, "It's getting kind of stuffy in here... C'mon. It's about time we went outside, no?"

After putting their cloaks on, the two girls left the Gryffindor common room and started down the stairs to the entrance hall. There weren't many students outside and the few that _were_ just frowned up at the gloomy sky. Oddly enough, Lucinda didn't mind the bad weather at all. In fact, it was almost refreshing to her. A day like this was just what she needed to practice her magic...

The fog that hugged the ground was so immensely thick it was nearly solid. They could barely see three feet in front of them; Aurora had stretched her arms way out, obviously seeing if she could still recognize her hands.

"Jesus..." she said, trailing off and turning to look at Lucinda. "You can't see a _thing_ out here."

Lucinda looked towards the Black Lake. The fog seemed to be worse by the water. Like the lake itself was causing the smokey white substance to billow out from over the surface, sucking anything down with it that it chose. Screaming students being pulled down by the Giant Squid. Their frantic little hands clawing at the soft earth, as their feet are consumed by the water... Now _that_ would be something to witness. While pondering these disturbed thoughts of hers, Lucinda suddenly felt something shockingly cold hit the tip of her nose. Only moments later, Aurora let out a groan of frustration.

"Ugh, now it's going to start_ raining_! Just perfect..." she grumbled, turning to go back into the warmth of the castle. "Listen, I change my mind. I'm gonna go back inside, Lucinda. You coming?"

Lucinda looked around her at the dispensing fog and then up at the cloudy sky. "You go ahead," she said, waving a hand behind her, as she walked in the direction of the lake. "I'll be in, in a minute."

"Where are you going?" Aurora called.

"Just having a walk..." she answered back, the fog now completely consuming her small form. Aurora sighed and shook her head, walking back through the oak front doors. That girl was _mental_.

Lucinda found her way to the edge of the Black Lake and continued to walk around its perimeter. It was strangely eerie and quiet out there now, as everyone had gone back inside, due to the rain clouds threatening above. Lucinda smiled to herself as she felt a couple more wet droplets on her face. Rain was so wonderful. It was like a gift from the gods, just for her on that lonely, foggy day.

After a few minutes of strolling along by herself, in which time the clouds had started spilling out a larger amount of water, Lucinda stopped and turned fully toward the Black Lake. The fog was lifting, but the rain more than compensated for it. It was now pouring. Lucinda blinked the water out of her eyes and breathed in deeply. She hadn't done it in a long time. This was the perfect opportunity...

She felt that familiar sensation of the hairs standing up on the back of her neck, and the prickling in her fingertips and palms. This was it.

As the sheets of rain pounded down around her, Lucinda closed her eyes and breathed evenly in and out of her nose. Her entire body was perfectly still and calm. She waited several seconds before opening her eyes again. When she did, the irises had changed. They were no longer the inky blackness of her life, but now the pale reflection of her future: opal. Her pearly hues looked out at the lake, partially not seeing anything and also seeing _everything_. Lucinda lifted her arms and spread them wide. It was as if she had little strings attached to the tips of her fingers. When she curved her hands back toward her body, a stream of water glided up out of the lake. It circled in front of her when she moved her palms together and fell back to the ground silently when she dropped her arms to her side.

_Good,_ she thought, looking morally satisfied. Her cloak was completely drenched now and was also weighing her down; she peeled it off and threw it into the muddy grass. "That's better," she said aloud. _Now for the harder part._

In nothing but a t-shirt and jeans, Lucinda spread her arms open again; this time with more force, her face etched with concentration. Gradually, a pool sized amount of water rose from the Black Lake, gurgling and shifting in midair. Lucinda kept her concentration up and the mass glided toward her.

"_Yes._"

x-x-x

Professor Snape was sitting in his classroom, as rain pounded against the windows. He had no desire, what-so-ever, to be sitting there at his desk, but he'd gotten a message that a student needed help on their Potions essay. Normally, he would have told them to ask another classmate of theirs, or maybe ignored their request completely, but he was surprised at how generous he was suddenly feeling. _Fine,_ he thought with a sneer. _Let's get this over with so I can get back to my work._ As for the work he was referring to... It was non-existent. He just despised helping these ungrateful children with the work that _he'd _assigned them. Was it just _his_ class that they had such difficulty in? He mentally acknowledged the fact that Lucinda _never_ needed help. That girl was in a league of her own...

Snape looked up at the door to the classroom, frowning more and more with each aggravating second. Where _were_ they?! Didn't they know that he had better things to do?! He'd originally planned to go outside. Not that he really _wanted_ to, but Lucinda had said that she'd be out there around lunch time. But, he could have been mistaken. They were standing in the hall, surrounded by passing students, so she made it seem as though she were saying this to Aurora. Snape understood, though, and gave her a subtle nod that said he'd be there.

So, now here he was: sitting cooped up in a classroom, waiting on some stupid kid who was probably failing his class anyway, when he _should _have been outside, having a quick conversation with _her._

"Severus, there you are," came a voice from the door. He looked up instantly and his face fell. It was Minerva.

"Yes, what is it?" he asked a little impatiently. What the hell did _she_ want?

"You weren't in the Great Hall for lunch," she said grudgingly, as if she really didn't want to be there. "Just wondered where you'd gone. More as: the headmaster wondered..."

Snape looked at her questioningly. Was she serious? "You _knew _I was here, Minerva," he said angrily. "You're the one who sent me the message about that student!"

"Student?" she said, frowning. "What student?"

x-x-x

Lucinda had the mass of water suspended above her. It moved and tumbled where ever her mind asked it to. She was getting quite good at this! It was now becoming gradually easier for her to control water. Just a little more practice and it'd be mastered! Of course, she still had no control over it, hardly at all, when she got angry, but there was never enough water around to cause _too_ much damage.

Pressing up and out with her palms, Lucinda made the giant sphere like mass split in two. Following that, she made them zoom around her in circles for a good sixty seconds. The faster they spun, the tighter the air got around her. Soon, it was very hard to breathe and she knew it was time to put the murky water back together again. In a few moments, the two masses were reunited into one large sphere above her. Lucinda chuckled to herself. She'd done it. She'd almost suffocated herself. That meant she'd almost gotten the _Frendo Spiritus _to work perfectly.

The water started getting heavier and Lucinda pushed against it with her mind... Nothing happened. _What?_ She tried again, but now her hands were trembling. Why was this water suddenly becoming so hard to control? She pushed with all her might, but it was too late. She'd lost her grip on it. Not once had she ever lost her concentration with such a large amount. This was dangerous and her panic set in right on cue. The pool-sized mass of lake water came crashing down on Lucinda's small body and she felt herself being knocked senseless.

Cold, chilling water rushed up her nose and into her mouth, causing her to cough and spit, but to no avail. She was completely under the surface of the Black Lake now and had no chance of spitting any water out. It had sucked her down. The damned force of the lake had sucked her right down into its suffering depths! Now, Lucinda wasn't exactly afraid of water. She had no reason to be. She could _control_ it, after all. But, dark water? The kind that's quidditch fields deep and unknown to the eyes of someone like herself...? Yeah. That scared the _shit_ out of her. But she didn't have time to be afraid of what was lurking in the Black Lake's shadows. She was going to drown if she didn't find a way out of there soon. Lucinda's body became weak and her arms and legs floated ghostly beside her. She was sinking deeper into the darkening abyss, her vision clouding over with charcoal black seaweed and various shapes.

_So this is it,_ she thought, as everything became still again. _I'm going to drown down here..._ Her lungs couldn't take the beating they were getting any longer. She needed to breathe. She needed to fill her crushing lungs with crisp clean air. But there was none of that down here. If she opened her mouth now, she'd only suck in a whole lot of disgusting water. So what should she do? Either way, she'd die... But this was better than choking on the contents of a lake. She didn't breathe. Instead, she held her breath, until her head began to throb and she felt herself drifting out of reality and into that dream like sleep... She hardly even noticed when the surface of the lake was no longer still again. Vast ripples spread across the water, disturbing the calm Black Lake, as someone bravely dove into it.

x-x-x

"Severus, I don't understand why you are so upset," Professor McGonagall was saying reasonably, as she tried to keep up with the Potions Master several paces in front of her. Snape walked briskly up the flights of dungeon stairs (almost _running_ up them), skipping two steps at a time. He threw her a glare over his shoulder.

"I'm upset, because I was sitting foolishly at my desk, waiting for a student who was never coming in the first place!" he snapped. "I ask you, Minerva, why would someone give me a fake message from you?"

Professor McGonagall's brow furrowed as they turned into the entrance hall. "Well... Well, I don't know..." she said, puzzled. "Who gave you the message?"

"Samael!" Snape exclaimed angrily, as the boy came through the oak front doors. That is, until he saw the limp form of a girl in his arms. "L-Lucinda!" he said, running up to them. "What-what happened?! What's wrong with her?!"

Tristin and Lucinda were both completely soaked to the bone and she looked unconscious.

"She fell in the lake, sir," said Tristin, stepping inside and tracking mud everywhere. "I had to give her CPR to get the water out of her lungs."

"Here," Snape said, taking off his black cloak. "Give her to me and I'll-- Wait a minute, did you say you gave her _CPR?_"

For the smallest of seconds, he could have sworn he saw a smirk flash across Tristin's face, but then it was gone. Snape glared hatefully at him.

"Why did you use CPR, Mr. Samael?" McGonagall asked, looking a little worried. "You could have easily used a simple spell. Why use a Muggle custom? She could have died..." She trailed off, mumbling incoherently to herself.

"I panicked," he said, shrugging. Snape's glare deepened.

"Alright, give her to me now," Snape said, hooking an arm under her neck. "She needs to go up to the hospital wing." Tristin lay the girl in his teacher's arms and he covered her with his cloak.

"Minerva," he said, turning to her. "Make sure Mr. Samael doesn't miss the feast tonight..."

Then he left them and walked up the marble staircase. Snape looked down at the girl in his arms, as he walked along a hidden passage. Her eyes were closed, her face was pale (almost gray), and her lips--... Samael had touched those lips. He'd put his mouth on her... _That sonofabitch,_ thought Snape and his anger started rising up. _I'll never let him touch her again..._

Down in the entrance hall, Tristin Samael was cleaning up the muddy mess he'd made by the front doors. Professor McGonagall had told him to before he was excused to go back to his dormitory or where else he so chose to go. With a quick sweep of his wand, the puddle was gone. He stood back and examined his perfect cleaning job with both hands on his hips and his head cocked to the side. Such a nice and clean floor... The kind that would look great caked and smeared with crimson fluids. It would be even better to clean it up afterward. Then maybe wax the marble until he could see his own empty eyes staring back at him. His dark, raven hair flowing about his face, clumping in parts from the sticky scarlet substance that he longed to feel between his teeth again. His pupils widened and he licked his lips slowly, remembering the taste of her flesh. It was better than he thought it'd be...

Tristin smiled and sighed happily, looking up at the tall arching ceiling. "Phase one..." he laughed to himself. "Complete."


	13. The Hospital Wing

**Chapter Thirteen**

"Hey, she moved!"

"So what? She might've moved, but she's still not conscious."

"Not conscious, eh? Then I guess she'll never know what I'm about to do..."

"What the hell are you talking-- CLOVER, PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!!"

"Would you guys please _shut up?_"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Professor. Did we wake you? Please, go back to your _nap_." That was Aurora.

"All of you need to lower your voices, please." And that was Madam Pomfrey.

Lucinda's eyes fluttered for a moment and then opened slowly, just as Madam Pomfrey was hissing at the students at the side of her bed. It was quite a scene. Clover and Gabe were both there at her feet and Aurora was on her right. The twins were bickering, as always, and Gabe was... well, Gabe; quiet and content. She was in the hospital wing and, with a glance toward the window, she concluded on it being early morning. On seeing her clearly awake, they each turned to look at her.

"Man, we thought you'd _never_ wake up!" Aurora said, kneeling over her. "How are you feeling?" She put the back of her hand to Lucinda's forehead. "Are you feeling okay? Do you need anything--?"

"I'll get it!" Clover squealed, pushing his sister out of the way. "What do you need, Little Flower... Anything to eat? Got a headache?" He held her chin in the crook of his pointer finger and thumb. "I can get you things other people can't..." he whispered then, smirking."Do you need a drink? Hmm? Something a little _stronger_ than pumpkin ju--"

Aurora punched him full on in the jaw and sent him sprawling across the marble floors. "Leave her alone, you psycho!" she yelled and then turned back to Lucinda. "Sorry about that. So, honestly. Do you need anything..?"

For the first time that day, Lucinda spoke. "Umm... No. I-I don't need anything, but--"

"But she _doesn't_ need all of you in here, disturbing her rest, along with everyone else who is ill in the hospital wing."

Lucinda's voice caught in her throat and she looked to her left, only just noticing that Snape was sitting there, leaning an elbow on her bed. He looked like he'd just woken up.

"You can see that Miss Morgan is alright," he continued, his voice rising with agitation. "So, all of you may now _leave_ and let her _rest_."

"_What?!_" Aurora shouted, balling up her fists. "_We're_ not leaving! You've been here all night! _You_ leave!"

"That is _enough!_" Snape belted. Then he turned to Madam Pomfrey and said curtly, "Please see these students out... They can't seem to be _quiet._"

Aurora looked as if she wanted to sink her fist into Snape's jaw as well. A vein throbbed threateningly in her forehead and her eyes were sparkling like never before with golden dust.

"_You_..." she said, her voice shaking slightly."Why don't you just take that wand of yours, and shove it-"

"Time to go," Gabe said suddenly and grabbed Aurora by her elbow, gently, but firmly. Before she had time to protest, he'd pushed her along in front of him. Lucinda was surprised to see that he was also dragging an unconscious Clover behind him with the other hand. She never knew Gabe was as strong as he was...

Madam Pomfrey watched to make sure the unwanted students made it out of the hospital wing more quietly than they had come and then went back into her study. As soon as he was sure the woman was gone, Snape pressed his lips against Lucinda's in a gentle kiss. It didn't last as long as he'd have liked, because she quickly pushed him away.

"W-What are you doing?!" she said, a little hysterically.

"Sorry," he said, sitting back in his chair. He didn't really look all that sorry, though.

Lucinda looked nervously at the door to Madam Pomfrey's office. "Sh-She could've seen you."

Snape ignored her and yawned. They didn't speak for several minutes, sitting in the collecting silence and feeling each other's emotions welling up at once. Lucinda waited until she saw it fit to ask him...

"So," she said, clenching the covers in her tiny fists. "What-... Ahem. What happened...?"

He didn't look at her. He just continued to stare down at his feet. Then he spoke...

"You fell in the lake," he said, raising his eyebrows. "At least... That's what _Samael_ says happened."

"Tristin?" Lucinda questioned instantly. "He was there?"

Snape's face darkened at the obvious interest in her voice. "Yes, he was there..." he said, barely moving his lips."He also says that he pulled you out and saved your life." He didn't mention the CPR. He didn't want her thinking about that... EVER. She could piece things together on her own. Though, he hoped she wouldn't. The last thing he needed was for her to _owe_ the sonofabitch something.

Lucinda knew Tristin was the worst thing she could talk about with Severus, so she didn't question him any further. She watched him through her peripheral vision, noting his eyes and the bloody tint they had, along with the dark circles that hung underneath; it made him look almost sickly. Lucinda frowned.

"Were you... Were you really here all night?" she asked, looking at him carefully.

"Yeah," he mumbled, rubbing his face. Then he leaned back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest... The way he always did.

"Well?" she said, a little impatiently. "Weren't you afraid of looking suspicious, staying the night at a student's side?"

Snape stared at the tips of his shined black shoes. "Why are you making such a big deal out of this, Lucinda?" he said coldly. "I wanted to make sure you were alright. Is there something wrong with that?"

"No, of course there isn't," Lucinda said, patiently this time. "I just don't want anyone finding out about... you know..."

"I understand," Snape said earnestly. "But you have nothing to worry about. No one is going to find out... Well, no one _else_, because, of course, Miss Borealis already knows."

Lucinda still felt uneasy...

"Maybe," she said, choosing her words carefully. "Maybe you should... Um, go now- to get some rest!" she added quickly, seeing the irritated look on his face.

"I've had plenty of sleep, Lucinda," he sneered.

"No, you haven't!" she said, as if the thought itself was completely ridiculous. "Honestly, you look a right _mess!_"

This was the wrong thing to say to him. "If you didn't want me here," he said, his voice dangerously low. "Then you could have just said so." Snape suddenly stood up, without so much as a glance toward her, and walked to the door. There, he stopped long enough to say, "I hope you feel better," and then pulled up on the latch.

"Wait- Severus- I didn't mean-!"

But he was already out the door and making his way down the hall. Lucinda sighed and leaned back into her pillows. _Great,_ she thought. _He's mad at me!_

"He willingly stayed by my side all night," she whispered to herself. "And this is how I repay him..."

x-x-x

Lucinda was supposed to be released from the hospital wing that evening, but her temperature unexpectedly rose at seven-thirty. Madam Pomfrey insisted she stay another night, just to make sure her fever wasn't getting worse. Lucinda didn't want to miss class the next morning, but it was inevitable in her condition. She wanted to apologize to Severus, but he didn't come back up the rest of the night. This just made her feel worse, because she knew she wouldn't be able to talk to him when classes started again. He'd be too busy _outside_ of classes, as well. Everything just seemed to be going from bad to worse...

When Lucinda woke on Monday morning, she was feeling terrible. Her fever was now at 101.3 degrees and she was shaking all over. After throwing up the only breakfast she could eat, she slept until late in the evening. The next time Lucinda opened her eyes, it was to see a pair of black ones staring back at her.

"Good. You're awake," Tristin Samael smiled warmly at her.

Lucinda tried to sit up, but she was too weak, so she merely turned her head to look at the boy sitting at the side of her bed. He was wearing a peculiar expression; part concern, part... She didn't know what. It was strange that she couldn't read him at all. Usually, she was very good at that; always saying what others were thinking and always knowing what others were feeling... But now... Tristin was different. It was like a solid brick wall separated them, except he was the one with the jackhammer. His entire aura was pulsating with something strange. Something dark. Something… indescribable. It had a faint familiarity to it, but it was also quite alien to her. This something was… consuming too much of her conscience. She needed to get back to the matter at hand: Tristin was by her bedside and he looked as if he were keeping something from bursting out of him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice sounding much better than she felt. In fact, it was very crisp and clear.

"Oh," he said, running a slightly trembling hand through his hair and Lucinda's heart skipped a beat. "I was… worried."

She didn't say anything. The look on his face told her that he wasn't finished.

"I-I heard Madam Pomfrey talking to Professor McGonagall," he continued, looking away from her. His brow was furrowed and his eyes kept darting back and forth between the hands in his lap and the glass of water on her bedside table. "And sh-she—"

Tristin's voice quivered and broke. Lucinda was very surprised to see two fat tears spilling down over the young man's pale, slender cheeks. Then his face twisted in that way that you knew was going to start the crying phase. Lucinda prepared herself, as he collapsed onto her bed, balling the covers up in his fists. Next came the convulsions. Tristin's entire body heaved with each tremendous sob that escaped him and he buried his face deeper into her mattress to try and silence them a bit (Lucinda briefly wondered if he were trying to suffocate himself). But it was no use. He was completely immersed in his own shameful tears and the entire hospital wing heard them. Lucinda was about to ask him what caused this all of a sudden, but then she heard something. At first it was a soft mumble, but then it got louder and she realized that he was repeating the same thing over and over again.

"I'm sorry… I'm s-sorry… So sorry… Sorry, sorry, sorry… So… Very… S-s-s-sorry… Pneumonia… W-why pneumonia?! W-why did it have to be… pneumonia…? It's m-my fault… I n-never meant for y-you to get sick… It's all my f-fault! Lucy… I'm sorry… I am so… _sorry!_"

Lucinda was confused. Forget that she apparently had pneumonia now. Why was Tristin _apologizing?_

"Hey…" Lucinda said and stroked his hair with a shaking hand. "You saved my life. How could me getting sick be your fault?

He just shook his head and continued to wail, "It's my fault! It's all my fault!"

He was being hysterical, but Lucinda continued to pet him affectionately. Her clumsy, but gentle, touch seemed to sooth him some and, after a good 5 minutes more, he stopped sniffling so much and looked up at her. His black eyes were shining with tears.

"L-Lucinda…" he croaked. "Please, you have to f-forgive me… _P_-_Please_…"

Lucinda stared at him, her hand still stroking the top of his head. Then she smiled and said, for psychotic reasons unknown to her, "Of course I forgive you, Tristin." _Now, maybe he'll stop this apologizing non-sense!_ She thought to herself.

"Oh, thank you!" he cried and, before she could even prepare herself for what was about to happen, threw himself on her in a tight embrace. If she had the strength, she probably would have stopped him. However, she let him hug her as he pleased. He'd been crying, after all. She felt a bit bad for the poor guy!

Lucinda looked up, as she heard the door click, but all she saw was the bottom of a black cloak whip out of sight, around the corner.

"Shit…" she whispered.

Tristin, oblivious to what just happened, stood up, wiped his eyes, and said, "Well, I need to go now… I've got a detention to serve in about fifteen minutes."

"Really?" Lucinda asked, unable to believe that a Prefect could get a detention. "What did you do?"

"You know," he replied, his eyes looking as if tears had never befallen them in a lifetime. "I'm not really sure. Professor Snape has been giving a _lot_ of people detention today—"

"_Snape_ gave you detention?!" Lucinda exclaimed. "But… you're in his House!"

Tristin gave a weak smile. "Yes, I know," he said and then walked soundlessly to the door, where upon he looked back. "Professor Snape never _has_ like me very much… I really hope you get better soon, Lucinda," he added. "I kind of miss seeing you in the Great Hall." Then he opened the door and left.

Before Lucinda had time to even begin to decipher anything that just happened, the door opened again. Seeing that it was only Aurora, Lucinda's heart calmed to its resting rate. _Severus…_ she thought, and looked down. _I wish you would come back._

"Hey," Aurora said, taking a seat at her bedside. "I just saw Tristin Samael leaving with the most peculiar expression on his face."

"Oh, yeah…" Lucinda said, letting out a sigh. "He was crying."

Aurora's face fell in confusion. "_Whaat?_" she said, furrowing her silver eyebrows. Things weren't making any sense. "But, his face… Lucy, his face was—"

"Damn it…" Lucinda muttered incomprehensibly, staring across the room in deep thought, oblivious to what the other girl was saying. "Aurora, I think I messed things up with Severus."

The silver haired girl tilted her head and waited a moment before speaking, "Why…? What happened?"

And so Lucinda explained…

Aurora had a strange look on her face when the story was done. She looked over her shoulder, probably making sure Madam Pomfrey wasn't in earshot, and then said quietly, "Lucinda… I saw Snape leaving here only slightly before Tristin did. I think he _did_ see you guys, because… the look on his face was _murderous._

"Great," Lucinda sighed. "I _thought_ that was him I saw leaving… He-He must've gotten the wrong idea. Ohh and he was _already_ mad at me in the first place! What the hell am I supposed to do _now?!"_

"I don't know," Aurora said, shaking her head (though, secretly not giving a shit about anything that had to do with Snape). "But, you've got more important things to worry about now, love. You have Pneumonia! Do you know how nearly _fatal_ that is?!... People die from it!"

"Yes, I know that," Lucinda snapped. "But, I'll be fine… I promise," she added at the look of doubt on her face. She _would_ pull through this. It was just another hurdle in her life.

**A/n:** The next one is going to be a kind of short. Sorry. I'm busy with college life. It never gets any easier, does it? :P Oh well. That's life! Happy reading and stay tuned for upcoming chapters.


	14. The Breakdown

**A/n:** Hey, I haven't updated in a while. I know. And this is also a bit short. Sorry. Thank you for reading thus far and I hope I get more feedback and fans. Oh, by the way. There was so much going in this. It was exhausting!

**Chapter Fourteen**

Over the next few days, things were not looking well for Lucinda. She only got worse and was no longer allowed to have visitors at all, except for maybe her teachers. Aurora took to sending her letters by owl, keeping her updated on what was going on in classes and, most importantly, with Snape. According to Aurora's last letter, he'd been as big an asshole as ever. Apparently, he was deducting large amounts of points left and right (even from his own house) and no one was safe from receiving a detention for merely coughing.

Lucinda was currently propped up in her hospital bed, breathing very faintly (which was painful, because her lungs crackled every time they tried to expand). She frowned down at the large piece of parchment between her delicate fingers. It was Aurora's latest letter and it was also much longer than the other ones she'd previously sent. Probably, because of what lay inside the text…

_Hey Lucy,_

_How are you feeling? Never mind. Don't answer that. I already know that you're feeling horrible. And it doesn't help that your so-called-boyfriend hasn't visited you at all. I tried to find out what his problem was, but he just gave me a detention for trying to talk to him about things other than Potions… Asshole… Anyway, I think you might be getting a visit from him this weekend. You see, I thought he knew that you had Pneumonia… Well, I was wrong! I saw him this morning and he must have just found out, because he actually asked me if it was true; if you really were as sick as everyone kept saying you were. I told him it was true and he… Well, he isn't happy. He started screaming something about no one telling him anything and then stormed off to the dungeons. He is completely batty, I swear… Personally, I still don't understand how you can put up with him so easily. You must have a LOT of patience. More patience than anyone else that I know, anyway. I would have chucked him into a cauldron by now and stewed him up for the birds. Oh my, look at me. Going off on a tangent in a letter. Sorry, Lucy… Well, I've got to get to class right about now. In fact, I think Potions started about fifteen minutes ago… Ah well, if Snape doesn't let me off, I'll just threaten to expose him for the cradle-robbing, pedophile that he truly is. Oh, you know I'm just joking, so relax. No, seriously. Relax and get better please. We all miss you terrible and I think Snape is going to kill himself if you're not back in class again soon._

_Cheers, Rorie._

Lucinda just stared at the letter in shock. Severus never knew?

_I think you might be getting a visit from him this weekend._

Would she really? Surely he'd come and see her, finally. And maybe he wouldn't be mad at her any longer. She truly missed him. How long had it been since she'd kissed or touched him; even seen him? Lucinda only hoped he was feeling the same way that she was. She hoped his thoughts never left her… Well, maybe she was asking for a bit much. He did have lessons to teach and concentrate on, but she was positive he'd find time to see her. He would come… and he did.

He came on a Saturday afternoon, while everyone else was at lunch in the Great Hall. When he arrived, she was awake, but only just; the sickness was taking its toll and simply breathing caused her incredible pain.

Snape stepped to the side of her bed. He thought about grabbing her hand or something like that. It seemed the appropriate thing to do… but he didn't. He felt uncomfortable and out of place by her side suddenly. So, instead, he awkwardly brushed the back of his index finger along her arm and then dropped his hand back to his side again. In response, Lucinda closed her eyes. It's not like she was trying to snub him or anything. She was just very tired, just as she was tired all the time now. She never knew getting sick and just laying in bed all day could take so much out of her.

"Hey," he said and Lucinda's heart sped up just a beat faster. Just hearing his voice again…

"Hi," she answered back in hardly a whisper (he had to lean down close to her to hear it).

"Lucinda, I… I am so sorry—" but he stopped, because she was shaking her head.

"No," she breathed. "Don't apologize. You don't have a reason—"

"I left you," he laughed bitterly and shook his head. "And I didn't come to see you and—"

"Oh, stop it, Severus," she said in a forced whisper. "You didn't know what my condition was like, so you can't blame your— Ah—" Lucinda's voice caught in the back of her throat and sent her into a painful coughing fit. Snape's face pulled down into a frown as he looked at her with concern. "Oh god," Lucinda croaked, clutching her chest. "W-why does it have to… hurt so bad?" She breathed as heavily as she could, but her esophagus felt blocked off and her chest was being crushed by an invisible vise.

Things were quiet, however and Lucinda realized that Severus wasn't saying a word. She glanced up and saw the look on his face… It looked like anger.

Why the hell would he be angry with me right now?!

Lucinda was about to start sulking, but then he spoke. He spoke in voice she'd never heard before.

"Lucinda…" he whispered, and she could feel the fury rolling off of him, as he fought to control himself. He didn't usually do that. Why didn't he just blow up at her for whatever she did?

"Yes… Severus?" she whispered. Her voice shook slightly.

"Just what the hell… did you think… you were doing?" His eyes expressed the complete infuriation and rage lying just behind them, waiting to lash out. Lucinda gasped and tried to lean away from him. What the hell did she do?!

"Severus—"

"What—" he suddenly spun around on the spot and looked behind him. "—the FUCK is going on in here?!!" That's when Lucinda noticed a frightened Madam Pomfrey by her office door. Suddenly, everything clicked. "Can you please explain to me," he continued, his vehemence shooting out in all directions, no longer being controlled. "Why this student is in even the LEAST bit of pain?! What the fuck kind of shit job are you people doing here?!"

He wasn't angry at her. He was angry that she was in pain… and was obviously taking it out on the Hospital Wing staff.

"Honestly, what the hell does this child have to do to get some relief?! Hasn't she been through enough and now you people are going to pretend that you don't notice her pain! She is in _pain!_ Do you hear me?! PAIN!!"

"Severus, please calm down," Madam Pomfrey tried to console him. "We didn't have the right ingredients for a pain eradicator like that—"

Snape's eyes lit up in a blaze of ferocity. "YOU COULD HAVE ASKED ME!!" he raged, as the glass on Lucinda's table side slid off and crashed to the floor, sending streams of water in all directions. "Go! Now! My personal cabinet should have whatever you need!"

"B-but, I-I don't, don't think—"

"JUST GO!!!!!" he screamed and Madam Pomfrey ran out of the room.

Several minutes went by and he just stood there with his back to her, his shoulders heaving, as he tried to breathe calmly again. Lucinda didn't know what to do. She'd heard him yell many times before, but not like that. He turned back around after that and pulled out his wand. Then he proceeded to clean up the mess of water all over the floor. When he was done, he put his wand away and then looked down at her.

"I'm sorry for yelling," he said unexpectedly. "And I'm sorry we didn't get to see much of each other lately… But right now I just want you to get better and I'm not helping you do that by being here."

"Oh, but, Severus…" she started, but her voice really wasn't agreeing with her. She couldn't speak.

Snape put his hand up to silence her, regardless. "I'm going to leave now. Madam Pomfrey should be back soon and hopefully she can get a nice pain-killer brewing for you."

Lucinda gave him a helpless look, since she obviously could no longer express herself through words. She hoped he took her look to mean "Please, don't be so upset".

Snape read her face correctly and gave her a weak smile. "Don't worry, Lucinda," he said, brushing the hair off of her damp forehead. "I'm fine… And you'll be fine, as well. It really isn't as serious as everyone keeps saying… Sleep well." Then he turned and walked out of the Hospital Wing without another word.

He had only one thing on his mind and that was to get down to his office as quickly as possible. He could feel it building up inside of him and needed to release it somewhere no one would see. This anger that was so far deep beneath his skin. He could feel it boiling and burning him. His mind was clouded and foggy and every inch of him was beginning to break out in a cold sweat. Why now? Why after so many years? Why did it have to be NOW that it was going to happen to him again? He hated it when he got this way. He felt weak and helpless… Like a normal human being… He felt vulnerable.

When his office was in view, Snape felt his nasal passage close up painfully; like someone had just socked him a big one, right square in the face. His vision went a bit blurry after that, as he flew through the door, kicking it shut behind him. First, after looking around to make sure he was alone, he raised his wand and put a silencing charm on the entire room. Then he didn't move for a minute; like he was caught in headlights. His eyes were wide and frozen in the same spot, as were his feet and arms. Then, gradually, his hands rose to his head, wrapping his fingers in locks of hair, and turning into fists. Without warning, Snape let out a long yell. It got louder as his voice rose against the stone ceiling, until his lungs felt as though they were going to burst. Then he took a deep breath and belted again.

"SON OF A BITCH!!!"

He turned around and threw his fist into the door. Then came the other one. He began pounding on the door as hard as he could, at a disregard for his increasingly damaged knuckles, screaming, "GOD DAMN IT, GOD DAMN IT, GOD DAMN IT, GOD DAMN IT, GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He just screamed it over and over again. Everything was released. Everything that he'd been holding in.

"WHY HER?! WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE HER?!!" he clasped his bleeding hands together and shouted to the ceiling. "WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO WRONG THAT I HAVE TO DESERVE THIS??!!!"

He felt his nose burn again with that clogged feeling tearing at his insides. Suddenly, he snapped completely.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Snape threw himself on the floor, falling hard on his back and started hurling his fists at his head.

"NOT HER, NOT HER, NOT HER, NOT HER, NOT HER!!!!!!!!" he yelled and punched, as the tears finally escaped their forbidden domain and rolled down the sides of his head, soaking into his hair. "PLEASE, GOD, DON'T TAKE HER FROM ME!!!!!!!!!"


	15. Reunions and Trust

**A/n: **Hey guys. Long time no see. But, boy am I glad to see all of you (figuratively speaking, of course). It's been nearly TEN MONTHS since I last updated, right? Well, who's keeping track… The point is, I am back now and I plan on updating more often. If you thought I'd given up on this story then you were WRONG, because I fully intend on sticking with this to the very end. You better look forward to more chapters soon, 'cause I am a writing machine! I will BLOW YOUR MIND!! Okay, seriously, I'd actually REALLY love some feedback. It helps _inspire_ me, people. Give me some inspiration and review ;]

**Chapter Fifteen**

Meadow Larks. Those were the last things Lucinda heard outside her window in the Hospital Wing, before she fell into a deep slumber that she would not waken from for several weeks. The cheerful little birds were like a parting gift. One that she didn't know she was getting. It was a calming and peaceful sound, but also very deadly... This sound meant that she was dying. She knew it somewhere in the back of her subconscious. There was just little she could do about it, seeing as how she was currently not responding physically or mentally to anyone. Even her parents came to see her many times, but no matter how they talked to her, played her music, or prayed to whoever it was that answered their usual prayers, Lucinda was unresponsive… and everyone dreaded the worst.

The time came when Lucinda wasn't even allowed visits from anyone except family. Thus, Severus was in a panic. If he couldn't see her, how could he know if she was doing better or worse? He was completely against this ridiculous rule that Madam Pomfrey had. How was he a threat to her health when she was dying anyway?! Snape cringed at the thought. He didn't want something like that to even enter his mind, but it was. It was the _only_ thing on his mind, lately. He'd already dismissed his potions classes early several times, because his cerebrum felt as though it'd rip open from all of the things it was going through.

Everyone knew something was wrong with him. He stalked the halls with that same pungent expression on his face, day in and day out. He wouldn't look at anyone. He wouldn't speak outside of lessons and even in his lecture time he would mumble through half of it and stop in mid sentence to stare blankly at the floor. This frustrated Aurora. What right did he have to be so torn up about the whole situation? He was a fucking jerk and didn't appreciate Lucinda anyway! _Why don't you just forget about her already?! _Aurora silently screamed, as she sat through yet another one of Snape's half-assed lessons. _You're undoubtedly going to end up sacked, you sonofabitch! Just fuck off already!! Nobody wants you around!_

Severus suddenly glared at the silver-haired girl, staring her down with hatred. Aurora quickly looked away. _Jesus, he can probably read minds, too! Fucking freak… _Snape's eyes trailed from Aurora's face, once they no longer had any stimulation to stay on her, to a spot on the floor, where they didn't look up from for several minutes. His expression went blank. Multiple students collapsed their heads onto their desks in exasperation. He'd been doing this all week…

x-x-x

Outside of the Hospital Wing, a raven haired boy stood just beyond a stone pillar and out of sight from anyone who so happened to walk by. He held a wand in his hand and spun it with ease between his fingers, a careless expression etched in the depths of his void eyes. Lately, not many people had been coming in and out of the Hospital Wing since its most popular inhabitant was now denied visitors. Not like the girl could even notice who was visiting her or not, anyway. What was the point? Having visitors wasn't going to make her sicker… Tristin rolled his eyes at the idea of it and watched as Professor Dumbledore sashayed out of the door to the Wing. He was followed by Madame Pomfrey and they both looked at each other in silence once she'd closed the door behind her.

Dumbledore looked down his long misshaped nose at the woman and gave a breathy sigh, rubbing his temples with one slender hand. "What is there to be done, Poppy?"

She looked down at her feet and shook her head slowly. "I… There's nothing more I can do, Albus…" Madame Pomfrey looked up at him with a helpless expression, as if wanting him to tell her what to do. She searched his eyes for an answer, but he gave none. She was the healer of Hogwarts, but lately she'd been feeling so useless; especially since that day with Severus… He'd been so short with her and she hadn't fully recovered from his outburst yet. Lately she'd been hiding in her courters at meal time so she didn't have to face him. What she didn't know was that he'd been skipping meals, as well, to escape to the dungeons…

"I have tried _everything_. There's just-… There is nothing else we can do, except wait… I'm sorry."

The Headmaster breathed a heavy sigh from his nostrils and nodded, closing his eyes as he did so. "Then that is what we must do," he declared softly. "We will wait."

The boy behind the pillar huffed in slight agitation and slumped against the stone wall.

"I hate waiting…"

x-x-x

By the end of November, to everyone's great surprise, Lucinda finally awoke from her month long slumber. She dreamed of nothing while she was unconscious, so it felt as if no time had passed at all. This caused her to become very confused when everyone told her just how many classes she'd missed over the time she'd been sick in the Hospital Wing. It sent her into a slight panic, because school work was very important to her. It was pretty much the only thing she was good at and she enjoyed it and took it into great consideration. Missing a month of her work was like… telling her she'd missed a month of living (which, in a way, she had).

When Lucinda was allowed student visits again, Aurora and Clover came up to see her. She still didn't have the strength to push herself up into a sitting position, but she could talk regularly again. The three were sitting together on her hospital bed (they had helped her sit up and she was now comfortably propped against a cushion of pillows, supporting her frail weight) and were discussing things she'd missed out on while she was unconscious.

"They came to see you while you were sleeping a couple of times," Aurora was saying about her parents. "Your mum was crying all over the place. She really thought you were going to die."

"But you're getting better now, little flower!" Clover beamed, his golden eyes smoldering in excitement. "It's all been dreadfully boring without you around… Hasn't it, Rorie?"

"Yes, that's true," Aurora nodded. "It has been really dull."

Lucinda found that hard to believe, considering these two were completely insane when they were together. How would they be if they'd never even met her? Undoubtedly the same…

"So, my parents came by?" Lucinda asked. "They didn't stay, though?"

Aurora shook her head. "I heard your mum telling the Headmaster that they were going to go back home, once they knew you'd be okay. She said that they weren't helping you get better by being here."

_That_ sounded familiar. Lucinda thought of Severus and the words he'd spoken to her.

"So, they're gone now?"

"Yeah," Clover nodded. "Snape seemed to come by the most, though."

Lucinda and Aurora exchanged looks.

"But everybody knows you're teacher's pet when it comes to him," Clover continued. "He couldn't have his best student snuffing it, could he..? Even if she _is_ a Gryffindor."

Aurora nodded in agreement. "Yeah," she said, visibly glad Clover hadn't caught on (though, she'd enjoy watching the prat of a teacher get sacked). "And I'm doing worse than ever in his class without you there… Gabe seems to be just the same, though. No better, no worse."

"Where _is_ Gabe?" Lucinda asked, suddenly realizing that he wasn't there.

"Ancient Runes," Clover replied, broodingly. "That's the only class, besides Potions, that we don't have together… It'll be getting over any time now, though!" He added happily.

"So, Lucinda," Aurora said, ignoring her brother's new found enthusiasm. "When's the last you saw of Malcom?" Her and Aurora used the name "Malcom" when ever they were in the presence of anyone else.

"Yeah, I haven't seen anything of that boyfriend of yours," Clover stated. "Has he been up to visit you at all since you woke up?"

"Well," Lucinda replied. "I haven't seen him since before I fell unconscious, but I… I think he'll be paying me a visit soon…"

After a few more minutes, Clover and Aurora left to go to Transfiguration. Once they were gone, Lucinda settled back into her pillows and closed her eyes. Her Potions Master was the only thing on her mind…

x-x-x

Severus didn't come by that day, but on the following Saturday morning (the day Lucinda was to be released from the Hospital Wing and free to carry on with her lessons again), he showed up to escort her out. Madame Pomfrey was very surprised to see the young girl so eager to leave and so… energetic. After having been in a coma for an entire month, she sure did bounce back faster than anyone she'd ever known.

Lucinda was putting her few things in a sack (just a couple of pictures and some clothes; plus, the accumulation of gifted flowers that had finally dried up and she'd secured in a small bag) when Snape walked in. She felt his presence as he opened the Hospital Wing doors and took a few steps toward her. She had her back to him, but she heard his footfalls come to a halt and her back went rigid, as her entire body froze. Part of her didn't want to turn around and look at him, because this building anticipation was more feeling than she'd felt in over a month. Once they embraced it'd be over with. Things would go back to normal… But she could hear him shifting his stance behind her. He took two more painstakingly slow steps toward her and she felt her heart thumping loudly against her chest and her palms began to sweat. Time seemed to stop once Lucinda finally turned to look at him. At first she had her eyes to the floor as she pivoted her body slowly in his direction. She saw his shined black shoes taking their final steps toward her and she raised her eyes and at last looked up at him through dark curling lashes. Her breath caught in her throat as she gazed upon the face that unconsciously filled her mind as she slept. He stared back at her, every bit of pining want carved into his features.

Lucinda hesitated and then suddenly ran the last few paces between them and leapt into his arms. He caught her in perfect response and held her tightly as she grabbed hold of the sides of his head, her hands balling into fists in his dark locks.

"Severus…" she breathed against his mouth. His own hot breath blew against her lips as they simply stood there, their bodies entwined and noses pressed together. Lucinda's eyes stared into his black ones; neither could speak. She breathed him in over and over again, unable to keep from doing it, because his scent was the only thing that seemed to matter at this precise moment. Never again was she going to go that long without seeing him, touching him, breathing in the very thing that drew her to him…

Snape shifted her body so that he held her with one arm curved under her small bottom and he brought the other arm up to her face and ran his fingertips over her temple and down along her law line. He took note of how light she was, how frail and breakable she felt, the pale gray tint to her flesh, and the pink puffiness around her eyes… She looked so positively sickly and his concern grew.

"Severus…" she said again and brushed her lips against his, waiting for them to part and allow her access to press against them, to taste and touch them. Lucinda had just leaned in to close the remaining space between their mouths when Snape suddenly flung her away, causing her to fall with a soft _thump_ on the hospital bed. She gasped and looked up only to find him resting his elbow lazily on the windowsill, staring out at the grounds of Hogwarts. Mere seconds later, Madame Pomfrey came bustling out of her study and strode past them. Then she began taking the sheets off of a neighboring bed, probably getting it ready for another occupant.

Lucinda calmed her racing heart and then stood up to fix her covers. She smiled to herself as she paused and stared down at what had been her home for all of November. She was happy to be leaving this bed. She longed for the comfort of her own dormitory and the sound of Aurora sleeping soundly across the room. Today was amazing. Nothing could ruin this day.

After she'd slung her bag over her shoulder, Lucinda turned to Madame Pomfrey and gave her a warm smile. "Thank you for taking care of me," she said earnestly. "It must have been tough." She saw Snape head toward the door. Madame Pomfrey waved a hand at her.

"It was no problem, child… _Do_ try and stay out of the rain from now on, though."

Lucinda smiled and then gave her a nod. The woman smiled back and then turned away from them to continue changing the sheets on the beds. Lucinda turned and, without looking at Snape, walked quickly past him and out of the Hospital Wing, the smile still on her face. He followed after her.

Severus expected her to at least_ acknowledge_ him once they were out of the room, but she kept a steady pace ahead, down the halls of the school. Where the hell was she going? She hadn't said a word or turned around to look at him at all.

"Lucinda," he whispered to her back, his feet easily keeping stride with hers. Every two steps for her was one step for him. She didn't answer him. Snape sighed and continued to follow her.

She took them down several flights of stairs and never let up on her pace. Once she stumbled on a step and Snape reached out to seize her arm to keep her from falling, but she merely laughed and straightened back up, only to continue down the stairs once more. Minutes passed and he began to get irritated with her silence. Down they went, all the way into the entrance hall, where Severus thought that maybe she'd finally stop and say something, but she didn't. Lucinda veered off to the right once she'd reached the bottom of the marble staircase and headed toward the dungeons. That was long enough for her silence. Before Lucinda had a chance to reach for the door, Snape had thrown his arm out in front of her and slammed his palm into the wall, keeping her from going any further. She jumped and looked up at him in surprise, as if she'd only just realized he was there.

"Hey! Where the hell are you going?!" he whispered angrily at her. "Try saying something once in a while!"

Lucinda stared at him for a long time, still without saying anything, and he began to feel agitated at her silence again. Then she parted her lips.

"Just a moment," she said, smiling in amusement at his apparent frustration with the situation. Then she ducked beneath his arm and went through the dungeon door.

"Arrghh!!" Snape sighed in frustration and whipped through the door after her again.

Lucinda turned around just as Snape was trampling down the stairs behind her. She half screamed, but then laughed as she took off down the stone corridor at the bottom of the staircase. Snape ran after her.

"Stop running, you idiot!" he whispered after her. "You're going to trip on something and I'm not going to help you when you do!"

Lucinda ignored his threats and continued to laugh as his office door came into view. Her eyes lit up as she neared safety from him. She was paces away. The handle was within her reach. She stretched out her arms, grasped the handle, and pushed through the door. Snape was right on her tail and they stumbled into the room, falling to the floor. Lucinda had twisted in such a way that she'd fallen on top of him and he was on his back staring at the ceiling. His chest rose and fell with each deep breath he took in and her own breaths rose and fell with his. She rested her chin on his sternum and stared at him. He looked down at her. They both simply stared at one another for a few moments and then Snape suddenly let out a loud barking laugh and wrapped an arm around her back. Lucinda laughed in unison, happy that he was finally showing some positivity. After a few more moments of soft hilarity, Lucinda pressed against him with her palms and lifted herself up to her feet.

"Ack—" she said, looking behind her. "The door, Severus…" Then she walked to it and shut it with a soft _click._ "You know, it's not smart to just leave doors open like that," Lucinda shook her head and turned around. "Anybody could come waltzing by and—"

Without warning, Lucinda was pushed roughly up against the door that she'd just closed and Snape's lips pressed into hers feverishly. Lucinda's knees buckled beneath her and he supported her with his body, keeping her trapped between him and the door. His mouth moved against hers impatiently, while his tongue slid between her lips to caress the one that resided within. She pressed into him as forcefully as she could, trying to close any space that might have still been between them. Just when Lucinda was at the height of their kiss, he broke away from her and stumbled to his desk, holding himself up by pressing his palms into the desk top. It left her a little disappointed and when he didn't say anything she got slightly worried.

"Is something wrong?" She asked, as he continued to try and catch his breath.

He didn't turn around. After several moments passed and he seemed to come to a resting heart rate again he straightened back up. "Not really," he said and Lucinda thought she heard a little sarcasm in his voice. "I wanted to speak with you about this _after_ you were feeling better, so…"

Lucinda waited and listened, her mind racing with possible scenarios of what he was about to say to her. Then he turned around and she saw the seriousness in his expression.

"What is it, Severus?"

Snape sighed deeply and hesitated before answering. "I want you to answer truthfully, Lucinda…" he said even more serious, yet, a little uneasily. "Is… Is there something going on…" He swallowed, afraid of the answer she'd give him once he finished. "Between you and Samael?"

Lucinda's jaw dropped open and she stared at him in shock, unable to form words. This is what he wanted to talk to her about? _This?_ Was he _serious?!_

"W-What the hell are you talking about?!" she said, once she'd found her voice.

"You know what I'm talking about!" he snapped, his face now turning cold. "Now answer the damn question!"

Lucinda glared across the room at him. "No," she said tightly. "No, there is _nothing_ going on between us… Now, is there anyone else that you want to accuse me of having relations with?"

"Oh, what the hell was I _supposed_ to think?!" Snape barked. "I saw how _close_ you two have been… Tell me," he continued, walking toward her. "Did you enjoy running your little fingers through his shiny black hair? Did it give you a little thrill when he put his arms around you? Did it get you off, having his body pressed so tightly against yours? Or are you like that with _all_ the guys—"

Lucinda slapped him across the face instantly. Her hand stung from the force of the blow, so she knew it must've hurt him… and she hoped it did.

Snape closed his eyes and let the blood rush to the surface of his skin where her palm had hit it. Lucinda was looking at him through the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. He looked back at her and she saw all of the regret in his eyes.

"I was out of line… Forgive me," he whispered, but he wasn't going to simply let things go. He'd wanted to say this for weeks now. "Look, Lucinda, Samael is in love with you. I can tell. He's trying to come between us—"

"Oh, Severus, stop it!" Lucinda exclaimed, rolling her glistening eyes. "This is getting ridiculous!"

"No!" he yelled. "It's _not_ ridiculous! Samael wants you for his own and he'll do anything to have you! He's dangerous—!"

"_Dangerous?!_" she screeched. Then she laughed bitterly.

"Yes, dangerous!" Snape screamed back. "I think he's the reason you almost drowned in the first place!"

Lucinda looked at him incredulously before belting, "HE _SAVED_ MY _LIFE!!_"

"Yeah, he'd _want_ everyone to think that, _wouldn't_ he?!" Snape spat.

"Are you _insane?_" Lucinda laughed. "Seriously, have you been doing drugs today, or what? These accusations are completely _ludicrous!_"

"No," Snape said, shaking his head and looking into her eyes. "They're not ludicrous at all and I think I'm right…" Then he paused before saying, "And I want you to stay away from him!"

Lucinda's brow furrowed, as she stared back at him. She didn't speak or move at all. Her eyes shifted from his face to the walls and then to the floor, where they fastened themselves on his green rug… She wondered if she'd heard him correctly.

"What?" she said, looking back up into his eyes.

"I said, stay away from him!" he demanded.

His words rang in her ears and she looked back down again, feeling the blood drain from her face. Lucinda nodded absentmindedly and whispered, "That's what I thought you said…" Snape watched her carefully, trying to read her expression and ready himself for more screaming. He winced when she raised her hand, expecting another slap across the face, but it never came. Instead, she tucked a strand of chocolate hair behind her ear and turned away from him and slowly walked to his office door.

"Lucinda?" Snape said suddenly. "Where are you going?"

Lucinda looked back at him as she opened the door. "To get my make up work for my classes," she said with her tone like sandpaper and her face expressionless. "And please, Professor Snape, do try and use 'Miss Morgan' when you address me… 'Lucinda' is much too informal for a teacher to use for a student…" Snape's mouthed opened in shock. "See you in class Monday," and with that she went out the door and shut it behind her.

Snape stood there, staring at his office door, frozen in place like a statue for a good forty-five seconds, while his brain processed the moment's last events. Slowly, it began to sink in and he realized what he'd just done…

Lucinda had… broken up with him.

Snape collapsed to his knees, his eyes till gazing in disbelief at where she'd been standing.

"Oh my god…"


	16. Dungeon Hysteria

**Chapter Sixteen**

"You dumped him? _Seriously?!_ … Way to go! Alright, now you can stop sneaking around all the time!"

"Aurora, please stop… I feel terrible about it."

"_Why?_" Aurora asked, fiercely. She was really getting sick of this back and forth nonsense. "He was being way too controlling. You had a _right_ to end it!"

"But that doesn't mean I really wanted to!" Lucinda cried. They were sitting on her bed; their nightgowns hanging loosely on their bodies.

"What do you mean you didn't really want to…? Then why'd you do it?!"

"Because!" she said, hysterically. "He was saying all of these terrible things and— Well, I already _told_ you what happened!"

"Yeah, yeah," Aurora said, impatiently waving her hand. "But what's done is done… Now, come tomorrow, when you've got Potions, I want you to treat him just like you'd treat any other teacher— just listen! — You have to act like he's _Pro-fess-or_ _SNAPE_, not anything else."

"But—"

"Don't worry," Aurora continued, seeing the reluctance on her face. "He'll be trying to get you back, but you can't give in! He needs to learn his lesson… So, don't you dare even _think_ about talking to him, unless it's class related… GOT IT?"

Lucinda opened her mouth to protest, but closed it again once she realized there was nothing to fight with. She had no support to back up why Aurora was wrong. Lucinda gave up and nodded in defeat. After all, Aurora was right for the most part… She needed to give Severus the cold shoulder, because he _had_ to understand how positively furious she was with him.

So, when she walked into Potions the next day, Lucinda went straight to her seat, took out her things, and acted as if it was just a normal day in class… But it _wasn't_ a normal day. If it _was_, she'd have smiled her warming smile at him to brighten his mood and make it easier for the rest of the class to enjoy the lesson. Too bad for the rest of the class that today she would not look at him. She would not smile. She would not laugh. She had to ignore him in every aspect except that of his student. As for Snape, he was at his desk and didn't look up as the class filed in. Once everyone was seated and the chatter stopped, he merely flicked his wand, causing the board to reveal a series of instructions, and then said, "Begin."

There was a quick rustle of papers, clatters and thumps of books and quills, and scrapings of chairs against the stone floor as students hurried to the cupboard at the back of the room, acquiring ingredients for themselves and each other. Lucinda got her bits of things she needed and then set to work. Aurora kept looking at her out of the corner of her eye, probably making sure that she wasn't looking at Snape, but Aurora didn't have to worry… Lucinda didn't look up the entire hour. There were a few moments that her eyes started to wander in the direction of his desk, but she'd quickly shoot them down to her table again. When the bell rang, she took a flask, scooped up some of her potion, and then walked with the rest of the class to Professor Snape's desk. Lucinda looked over her shoulder at Aurora, who was staring down at the sample of potion in her flagon with worried eyes.

"I don't think it's supposed to smell like that…" she heard her whisper.

Lucinda shook her head and turned back around to set her own perfectly concocted sample on Snape's desk. He continued to stare at the floor, sitting back in his chair, as the students scuffled around him, trying to put their flask on his desk.

"Wait one moment, Miss Morgan," he said quietly, when she put her potion in front of him. "I'd like to talk to you about the work you've missed over this past month."

Aurora started coughing loudly, holding on to her shoulder, and whispered quickly in her ear, "Remember what I said!" Lucinda looked back at her friend as she departed from the room. When Aurora was at the door she turned and quickly thumped her fist over her heart twice, following this action by a point and a wink at Lucinda. The dark haired girl rolled her eyes at the fair haired one. Snape saw nothing, as he just kept his eyes on the floor. Lucinda watched everyone else leave, as she stood at the side of the desk. Snape didn't speak until everyone was long gone. Then: "I know you're mad at me, Lucinda, but you have to understand why—"

"Sir, I thought I asked you to call me 'Miss Morgan,'" she said instantly. "And if this is all you had to say to me, then I must be getting to my next class." Snape couldn't believe she was dismissing him so instantly. Did she really not care at all? Lucinda turned to walk away and Snape grabbed her arm.

"Wait," he said. "I still have more to say to you… And I know for a fact that you don't have another class right now. It's your free period."

"Professor," Lucinda said coldly, as she wrenched her arm out of his grasp. "Forgive me, but I don't think it's any of your business whether I have a class right now, or not…" Then she glared down at him. "And if you touch me again… I'll report you to the Headmaster."

Snape stared back at her in utter shock, his mouth falling open slightly. This couldn't possibly be happening. "… So, that's it," he said quietly. "We're really through… I've really lost you."

"You can't lose what you never had!" Lucinda spat and then walked quickly out of the room. Snape watched her, desperately wanting her to turn around and come back to him; to tell him it had all been a joke… Where did it go wrong? He'd only wanted to protect her and now she'd ended things with him so easily and carelessly… As if the time they'd spent together meant _nothing_ to her… Snape leaned forward and rested his forehead in his palms, sighing in miserable silence. How could this have happened?

Just outside the Potions classroom, Tristin Samael was standing off in the shadows, listening intently to the voices growing angrier inside the room. Any moment now and he knew that the girl would be exiting it in a flurry of emotions. He stood in an essence of building anticipation and awaited the moment that Lucinda would be storming down the hall away from him, too distracted by her own anger and frustration to notice he was there. He didn't have to wait long. Within a measly three minutes, the girl burst out of the classroom and plodded down the dungeon corridor. Samael smirked to himself.

"Phase _two_ complete…"

x-x-x

Tristin caught up with Lucinda as she was making her way up the last dungeon staircase that lead up to the entrance hall. He watched the dark, curling, cloud of hair bouncing behind her and called out to the girl. She didn't hear him. She couldn't hear much of anything right now…

"Lucinda!" he called again. Lucinda whipped around on the spot, just as she made it to the top landing and just as Tristin was about to crash right into her. He stumbled to a halt a mere two steps below her and she threw her arms around his neck, burying her face into his shoulder. Tristin wasn't expecting this and he had to use all of his balance not to topple backwards off the stairs.

"H-Hey—!" he exclaimed, startled. She didn't say anything, but her grip on him didn't loosen in the least. Once he was sure she wasn't going to be the first to say anything, he put his arms around her delicate frame and held her close to him. She was shaking uncontrollably and he could already imagine the tears that were undeniably falling from her eyes. "What's wrong..?" he finally asked.

Lucinda sobbed into his robes. She said something, but he couldn't tell what it was. All of her words were jumbled together in an aura of misery that now consumed the poor girl.

"What?" he said, trying not to smile.

"I'm… S-sorry!" she cried, sliding her hands from behind his neck to the front of his robes, where they balled themselves into tiny pale fists. She rocked her head back and forth on his chest and continued to repeat her apology. "I'm so s-sorry for this! I'm j-just really ups-set right now!"

Tristin bit his lip, keeping the laughter from bursting out of him, and stroked her hair, shushing softly in her ear as he slowly rocked her in turn. "What happened, Lucy?" His voice was full of the deepest concern, but his face was dripping with amusement.

She didn't answer right away. She let herself calm down first, which was not an easy thing to do. Lucinda was so close to just giving up this stupid charade and asking for Severus to be with her again. She hated saying such hurtful things to him. It scorched her heart to be so cruel… But then she remembered all of the hurtful things that he had yelled at _her_ and that was the only reason she agreed to continue with the breakup. It wasn't as if she wanted to _stay_ broken up, but Severus had to suffer for a while if he was ever going to learn not to tell her to stay away from one of her friends again! Thinking of this, Lucinda felt she was calmed down enough and pulled back a little to look up at the boy that she was clinging to. In all of her anguish, she actually hadn't realized who it was that she'd been crying all over. Lucinda gave him a faint smile.

"Hi…" she said, dimly below a whisper.

"Hi," he said back, even softer than she had. Then he brushed a spring of hair away from her face and smiled. "So what happened that's got you so upset, hm..?"

"O-Oh," Lucinda sighed, her mouth quivering. "It's my boyfriend. We… We broke—" Lucinda's voice cracked, as her tears resurfaced and splashed down her already dampened cheeks. She let out another sob, but tried to stifle it quickly by burying her face in his robes again.

"Shh…" he cooed into her hair. "It's alright, it's okay…"

"No…" she shook her head. "It's _not_ okay, Tristin. We broke up for such a stupid reason!" Lucinda let out a new wail of sadness and squeezed her fists so tightly in his robes that her knuckles were turning stark white. Tristin didn't say anything. He just continued to let the girl soak his front side with her tears. She was being completely hysterical, of course, but he could deal with it. He was willing to do just about _anything_ to have things go his way and well… he quite liked this; it was _fun_; having this crying girl in his arms, confiding in him… It was very satisfying and he smirked to himself.

"Lucinda…" he said tenderly and pulled back some, placing a hand delicately under her chin. Lucinda raised her eyes to stare into his. Her chin still quivered. "Why don't you come with me after classes are over today?"

She sniffled and parted her lips. "C-come with you?" she asked and her crying began to slow. "Where?"

"Oh, just for a walk around the grounds or something," he replied tilting his head to one side and staring above her head in thought. Then he looked back down and smiled kindly at her with reassurance. "And we can talk about whatever you'd like. Hell, we could just walk in silence if you want." He watched her expectedly.

Lucinda thought a moment as she gradually drew away from him, walking a few backward paces to the entrance hall door. He followed in her every step. "Well," she said, wiping the tear tracks off her face. "I guess that'd be fine, heh… Where did you want to meet?"

Samael hid his excitement and smiled again. "By the front doors is fine," he said, his smile never faltering. Lucinda smiled back. His good mood was contagious. "Don't forget your cloak, because it's going to be cold today. Oh, and Lucy…?" he added, reaching a hand up to her face. "No more tears, okay?" Then he dragged his thumb across her cheek and she shivered.

Lucinda breathed in deeply and nodded. Then she muttered a brief "bye" and turned away from him, continuing on her way up to Gryffindor Tower.

Tristin watched her go and leaned his shoulder against the stone wall, collecting his thoughts. Things had gone way better than he ever imagined they would. He was already meeting her alone somewhere. Oh, he had _not_ expected _this._

"Wow," he whispered and then licked his lips. "I'm going to _like_ phase three…"

**A/n: **It's a shorter one, but the next chapter will be longer. I want to thank each and every person out there who has taken the time to read my story. Honestly, I don't know if I would have continued this if nobody read it… So, thank you!

And do tell me what you think about the characters. Who is your favorite and why? Who do you _hate_ and why? Let me know! :]


	17. Too Far

**A/n:** Well, I took longer with this chapter than I thought I would, but it was only because I was so preoccupied with my college studies, which I'm failing- ehehehehehhh… Okay, so! We're getting into the Christmas season! And in the spirit of that, my next chapters will be all holiday filled and what not. Enjoy~

**Chapter Seventeen**

Aurora and Lucinda sat in Charms together, but through the first part of it they hardly spoke at all. Books whizzed through the air and fluttering pages were dodged by students with annoyed expressions on their faces. Aurora kept looking at her from across their table, obviously making sure she wasn't going to start crying or something… But Lucinda's eyes were very dry. She'd already had her fair share of crying for the day and didn't plan on letting anymore fall if she could help it. Lucinda was feeling surprisingly alright. She and Severus were no longer together now, but she would still be able to see him and be around him and that was a great comfort to her… as was her meeting with Tristin.

She couldn't exactly explain why it was that the very thought of seeing him made her feel better. It was probably because he'd always been so kind to her. Plus, going with him later that evening would _definitely_ make Severus jealous… That's what she wanted, in a way, but for what reason was beyond her. He _already_ didn't want to be broken up in the first place. What purpose would it serve to make him want her even more..? And then Lucinda decided that it was just for her own enjoyment to make him jealous. She hated herself for that, but… she yearned for Snape to want her to the point that it drove him mad.

Lucinda sighed and flicked her wand, plopping her chin in her palm. Was that normal of her to want to torment him so badly? Her Charms book flew through the air, crashing noisily into a stack of neighboring books. "Oops," Lucinda mumbled and stacked the books again.

Aurora peered cautiously over at her. "So…" she whispered. "You guys are really done with?" She was a bit nervous about even mentioning this topic, but the girl across from her showed no signs of bursting into tears, so why not?

Lucinda looked up. "Yeah," she said, shrugging her tiny shoulders. "I still want to be with him and all, but… I know that you're right… He needs to learn his lesson."

Aurora nodded in approval. "Damn right, he does!"

Lucinda laughed. "You really hate him, don't you?" she asked unexpectedly. "Why? I mean, I know almost everyone strongly dislikes him, but you seem to really _hate_ him."

Aurora looked at her for a moment before answering. "Well," she said, looking out the window. "I hate him more now than I used to."

"Really?" Lucinda questioned, flicking her wand a second time, causing her book to soar through the air and topple into Professor Flitwick. "Sorry!" she called and then turned back to her friend. "So, why do you hate him more _now?_"

Aurora checked to see if anyone was listening. "Because," she said quietly. "I think a part of me knew Snape was falling for you and, well, I also knew that he'd just break your heart, because he's an asshole! I didn't want to see my friend getting hurt, you know… But look!" she added angrily. "He's hurt you, anyway…! Fucking bastard…"

Lucinda shook her head. "He hasn't hurt me," she said, her eyes on the table top. "He just made me mad, that's all… But it _did _kind of hurt when he accused me of being more than friends with Tristin."

"Well, _hell_," Aurora said. "_Anybody_ would have accused you of _that_."

Lucinda looked appalled. "_What?_ But I don't like him like that!"

"_You_ might not," Aurora stated. "But he does… Everyone can see it, Lucinda. I don't understand why you _can't_."

Lucinda looked away from her. She felt her face becoming hot. Was she the only one who thought differently about all of this? Was it so wrong for a boy to show _kindness_ to her nowadays, without being accused of _liking_ her? Then another thought occurred… If Tristin really _did_ like her, then… wasn't Severus _right_ in thinking they might be more than friends? And if that was the case, then she was also in the wrong for getting so mad over something so simple. But now the damage was done, so what was there to do? She couldn't exactly go back to him _now _and suddenly be all like, "Oh hey. By the way, I was just mad and didn't mean to break up with you; pretend I didn't even like you and ignore you. Want me back?" That would be ridiculous. What could she do...? She didn't know… It was very confusing and she decided not to think about it anymore. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day for starting a new plan…

When the bell rang at the end of Charms, instead of going up to Gryffindor Tower as she normally would, Lucinda proceeded down to the entrance hall where Tristin was waiting at the front doors for her.

He smiled once he saw her and waved. He was wearing a heavy, black cloak over his robes and Lucinda felt a small jolt in her stomach.

"Oh no, I forgot to get my—" she started in a panic, but Tristin suddenly pulled a separate black cloak out from under his own. "—Oh… Thanks…" she said, taking it from him and blushing unintentionally as their fingers briefly brushed against each other. His hands were surprisingly hot, compared to her icicle fingers. She wondered if he'd noticed… Tristin, apparently oblivious to how cold her skin was, ignored the look on her face and helped her fasten the cloak around her shoulders. It was too big for her, but that was okay. It still did the trick.

It was _very_ cold outside. Lucinda noted how the frosted grass crunched under her shoes and was suddenly very thankful that Tristin had thought to bring an extra cloak for her. They were now entering December and snow already flecked the browning ground. Soon, everything would be covered in the white substance and every window in the castle would be festooned with spiraling frost. This was one of her favorite times of the year…

"Sooo…" Tristin said, after they'd been walking several minutes in silence. They were making their way along the edge of the Forbidden Forest. "Anything in particular you want to talk about?"

"Anything, but my breakup," Lucinda said with a wry smile. "I really don't want to think about it, if I don't have to."

Tristin grinned at her. "That's fine with me," he said. "So, anything, huh? Okay… What's your favorite color?"

Lucinda was startled by this sudden question and didn't answer right away. Then she gathered herself quickly and said, "Oh, um… Green, I guess."

"Green, huh?" he smirked. "You sure you weren't meant to be in Slytherin?"

Lucinda choked on her spit. She carefully turned her coughing fit into a laugh, hoping that he didn't catch onto her strange behavior. Tristin didn't know that she was almost placed in his house the very day she got there. It was something she wanted to keep between Severus and her friends… _That's right,_ she thought. _Severus knows… Would he tell anyone?_

"Well, aren't you going to ask me something now?" Tristin teased.

"Oh!" Lucinda said, blushing unintentionally again. "Alright then…" She thought a moment. "Do you have any siblings?"

"Nope," he said smugly. "Only child."

"Ah, me too!" Lucinda said, getting more into their conversation. "A lot of people have a problem with children being without brothers and sisters…" She turned her face up to the sky in amusement. "They say it causes the child to develop social disorders and things like paranoia…" she continued and looked at him sideways with her eyebrows raised. "As for me, I think I've turned out perfectly fine."

"Really?" Tristin mused, as they curved around a bend in the tree line. "No social disorders then? No Paranoia? Schizophrenia?" The corners of his mouth curled up.

"Nahh," Lucinda replied with a sarcastic tone to her voice. "Although, I think those few people I murdered and buried in my back yard could count for something."

"Well, well…" Tristin laughed. "Who knew we'd have so much in common?"

"Oh, you knew the William family?" she asked in mock surprise.

"Paha—!" Tristin hooted. "Lucinda Morgan, you are a _riot_."

"Yeah, sorry…" Lucinda blushed, scratching the back of her head. "I don't normally act like this. I'm not really much of the joking type… Not the _extreme_ joking type, anyway."

"I think it suits you just fine," he said instantly. Lucinda thought she heard a bit of aggression in his voice, but his face still held a smile. His black hair curled across his face as a slow wind moved past them and his eyes shifted to hers. She looked away quickly, trying to make it seem as though she hadn't been staring at him. Tristin simpered.

They eventually walked away from the forest and up by the greenhouses. A couple of students were inside the last two, probably helping Professor Sprout tend to the particularly nastier plants. She saw one of the students staring down at a potted Affilato Acanthus with a fearful look on their face. Apparently the Acanthuses this season were being very… resistant in their transplantations.

Lucinda looked up at the windows of Hogwarts and gasped. The sun was beginning to fall beneath the horizon and this set the castle into a fiery blaze of yellows and gold. The light on the glass reflected the sun's last rays of glory and Lucinda sighed up at the magnificent building. How could she have gone so many years and not even visited it..?

"Do you want a better view?" Tristin asked after he'd seen her staring up at the glistening windows.

"Huh— Where?"

"C'mon," he said, taking her hand. Lucinda shuddered at his touch. Once again, she noticed how tiny her hand was compared to his.

Tristin walked with his back to Lucinda, their feet crunching in the frozen grass and making the only sound between the two. He led her out to the Quidditch Pitch where they climbed the many stairs to the top of the stands. It was much windier up there than down on the ground; Lucinda took notice of this as she and the boy sat along the very top bench and gazed out across the landscape. Curling wisps of chocolate hair blew around her face, but managed not to obscure her vision. She decided that this was a nice touch to the gorgeous scene laid out before her. Tristin sat beside her in silence. There was an iron bar that ran horizontally in front of them, coming up to his chest and just above Lucinda's throat, thus she had her chin resting atop it. Tristin laid his arms over the bar, one elbow propping his head up, and watched the sky above Hogwarts. Smears of puffy clouds painted the heavens with deep purples and electric pinks.

Several minutes passed without either of them uttering a word. Lucinda wanted to say something, but nothing came to mind. Her thoughts were a bit… blank. She didn't want to think about Severus, but that was proving easier than she first imagined now that she was sitting there with Tristin. No, he wasn't replacing him and it wasn't that she'd rather spend time with Tristin rather than Severus, but for right now it was much less stressful.

Lucinda turned her head to look at him, but he was already looking at her.

"What is it?" she asked. He wasn't even blinking. He just kept staring at her and it was starting to make her a little self-conscious.

After another moment, he looked away again and returned his gaze toward the castle. "Nothing," he said simply. "I was just thinking about how beautiful you are…" Lucinda choked on her spit for the second time that day. "…and how much of an idiot your ex-boyfriend must be."

Lucinda gawked at him. "I-I don't… think I'm really all that…_ beautiful_," she finished with some trouble, not liking the word coming from her throat. She would never use it to describe herself. Now Aurora… _That_ was pure beauty. Not Lucinda. Lucinda was plain, as she saw it, anyway.

"Lucy, you don't get it do you?" Tristin laughed, shaking his head. "You _seriously_ don't get it…" He looked at her again. Lucinda felt colder now that the sun was nearly set and shivered.

"I don't get… what?" she asked, feeling her body start to shake.

Tristin reached a hand up and placed it at her temple, running his fingertips down along her cheek. Her shaking worsened. "You don't get… how every boy in this school wants you…" _Why are you saying this?_ "…for himself." Lucinda stiffened as a pair of very soft and surprisingly warm lips descended upon her own, enveloping them slowly. Lucinda wasn't expecting it and yet… part of her also knew that it had long been coming. In the least, it startled her, though. She was frozen there, at the top of the Quidditch Pitch stands, another boy's lips on hers and it _wasn't_ Severus. This made her feel guilt so quickly that you'd think she was cheating on him. Then she felt her guilt deepen as she realized she… kind of… _liked_ being kissed by Tristin Samael.

Tristin didn't move for a moment. He waited. He waited for her to make even the _slightest_ notion that she would kiss him back. He _needed_ her to kiss him back. He knew she wanted to… She just had to do it.

Disappointment like no other flooded every pore in his body when he felt her pull back. He wanted to stay there. He wanted nothing more than to have her NOT pull away from him; to kiss him back; to tell him how much she loved spending time with him; to fucking give in already! He felt as if every bit of hope and happiness that had prior been coursing through him was now being pulled straight out of his lips; the lips that he thought would be locked with hers. Tristin felt his heart sink to the pit of his stomach and he suddenly had a very nasty taste in his mouth, as he stared into her saddened eyes. Lucinda had pulled fully back from him now and was trying to say something.

"Tristin I-I…" He saw her eyes watering with tears already. God, she was such a cry baby. "I'm sorry… I can't."

Tristin swallowed the bitter taste down. This was unexpected. Things were supposed to be going differently… "I understand," he nodded, looking away from her. "Please, forgive my actions. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"No, it's okay, _really_," Lucinda said, trying desperately to lessen the tension between them and failing horribly. "It's my fault. I- I shouldn't have come with you. I should have just stayed in the—"

"Hey, don't say _that_," Tristin looked at her wildly. "It's not like it was some crime to come out here, Lucinda." Then he glared at the Hogwarts castle. "…_I'm_ the one who fucked it up."

"Oh- Tristin no, that's not true. You didn't do anything wrong—!"

"Lucy! I fucking _kissed_ you!" he yelled at her suddenly. "How is that NOT doing something wrong?!"

"Well, I didn't- didn't—"

"I should have known better than to do this to you," he continued, ignoring her attempts to reason with him. "Some friend _I_ am…"

"Tristin!" Lucinda cried. "Would you just _stop_, already?" They kept going in circles… "I know you think you did something wrong, but-but…" What the hell was she supposed to say to him?! "But… Well, hey, it's not like I disliked it!"

The fire in Tristin's stomach ignited once more and swelled into his chest. His eyes flashed and the corners of his mouth curled up. If the sun hadn't set already, she might have seen the look on his face. It was malignantly… _rapturous._ Tristin bit his bottom lip to keep from choking up the laughter that wanted to burst from him so badly. He wanted to blow something up; anything to release this incredible feeling without showing much emotion from himself. Maybe there was an old classroom somewhere he could set on fire… Nah, that was going a bit too far. He _was_ a Prefect, after all. Of course, he could always blame it on Peeves… It was dark now, Tristin noticed while looking out across the grounds. The only reason the grass was even distinguishable, was because it had bits of white snow flecking it here and there, but even that was hard to see in the vast marine of darkness below.

"Um…" he heard a small voice beside him. "Tristin…?" Lucinda had been staring at him for a while, unable to make out what his face was doing. He'd gone completely silent and it was a bit unnerving.

"Yes, Lucy?" he asked, incapable of hiding the enjoyment in his voice. Her shoulders relaxed when she realized he wasn't upset any longer.

"Uh, nothing," she said, shifting her gaze to the castle. It was bathed in a dim golden light that came from all of the lighted windows. "I think we should head back now, though. We're not supposed to be out here after dark…"

Tristin got up from his seat. "You're quite right, Miss Morgan," he said, reaching a hand down to her. Lucinda felt her stomach twist at his words and her guilt resurfaced as she thought of Severus. "Plus, it's too cold now. I don't want you getting sick… again."

On the way back to the castle, Lucinda replayed the last half hour in her mind over and over again. Each way she looked at it, it made her out to be a slut. That is the only way she saw it. _Sssskanksssskanksssskank…_ She heard the wind whisper at her as it blew by. They walked in silence. Tristin said a quick, "see you at dinner" once they reached the entrance hall and then continued through the door at the left of the staircase, which led to the dungeons. Lucinda stared at the door for one or two seconds after he'd disappeared behind it, wondering if Severus was down there and, if he was, would the two cross paths… But, just as quickly as she thought of it, Lucinda went off in search of Aurora to tell her everything that had happened, even though she knew _exactly_ what her reaction would be and dreaded it.

"I told you!" Aurora boomed, after Lucinda had found her outside of the staff room. "I told you, I told you, I toooold youuuu—"

"Stop it," Lucinda groaned, closing her eyes. "I feel sick to my stomach as it is…"

"Ah, I see…" Aurora nodded. "So it was that bad? Funny, I saw him as a possibly _good_ lip caresser."

Lucinda shook her head. "It sounds gross when you describe, so don't… But that's not it, anyway…" she admitted miserably. "I feel so disgusted with myself, because… because I enjoyed it."

There was a sudden _crash_ of breaking glass behind them and the two girls whipped around. Snape was standing in front of the staff room, his face as still as stone and clear shards of a bottle at his feet. Lucinda gave a start.

"Professor! U-um," she stammered, and looked particularly mortified. How long had he been standing there?! There was no way to recover from this; no way to explain herself; no way to get him to even look at her, because he wasn't. Snape had his face turned to the floor, his gaze fixated on the slick and glossy pieces of glass that sparkled around their feet. His expression twisted in a sour way, but was wiped blank again in the next second as he straightened up and looked at the girl in front of him.

"Well," Snape said sharply, flicking his wand and causing the shattered bottle on the floor to reassemble itself into his hand. "I guess it didn't take you long to move on, did it?"

"Sev- Professor, I—"

"Hurry on now, Miss Morgan," he said coolly. "Dinner will be starting in just a minute."

"But I didn't—"

"Don't wait too long," he said, a little more firmly. His lips stayed planted in a straight line, but his eyes told all. Alas, Lucinda only heard his words. "You need to build your strength up after everything your body has gone through. I don't want you missing anymore of my class—"

"Can I please just explain—!"

"GO!!" he bellowed. Lucinda jumped at the tone of his voice. He was furious. She could see that now. There was a dark vein in the middle of his forehead that pulsated threateningly and Lucinda was afraid of the screaming he might do next…

"Okay…" she said in a small voice, but didn't move. Her feet wouldn't let her. She continued to stare at him miserably, her throat unable to form aiding words. Snape looked away from her and exhaled heavily through his nose. He wished she would look away from him, as well.

"Come on, Lucy," Aurora said gently, taking her friend by the shoulder. "Let's go down to dinner…"

Lucinda jerked her arm away from her. "I'm not going," she said, her voice shaking. "I'm not really hungry…"

"Lucinda, you have to eat. You just got out of the hospital wing—"

"I don't care!" she cried, her eyes shining with tears. "I just don't care—! Leave me alone…" Her voice broke and she ran off down the corridor. Aurora and Snape both watched her leave. He did not want to make her cry (that's all he ever did anymore) and it killed him to watch her run away from him with tears running down those flawless cheeks. And those eyes weren't meant to cry over him. They were meant to squint and wink and smile and close when she was too tired to study with him any longer…

"Well," Aurora said suddenly, crossing her arms. "You _are_ an assho—"

"Shut up!" he roared. "_She_ did this! _She_ was the one who ended things and _she_ kissed someone else within a fucking DAY of doing it! I—" He looked away from her. "I really thought things would be different… I-I… I can't imagine… I…" Snape stared down at the empty bottle in his hand.

Aurora watched him cautiously. What the hell was he on about?

"Enough," he snipped. "Go find her, please. Make sure she's alright."

Aurora sighed. There was no use in arguing with him. Plus, he was right. Lucinda was probably bawling her eyes out under her covers by now… Aurora turned and left him there in the hallway.

Snape didn't allow himself to lose it. He wanted to, very badly, but he had to keep his head on straight. He couldn't afford to go off the deep end. Not with a class to teach and the Slytherin house to look after…

Severus held the bottle in his hand up to the light and looked through it. It was incredibly empty. His hot breath fogged the glass and his tongue snaked out to lick his bottom lip. _On second thought_, he deliberated, as he tapped the bottle with his wand, watching it fill with an amber colored liquid that came from no where. _Losing it sounds like a brilliant fucking idea right now… _


	18. Christmas Break part 1

**A/n: **SHE LIVES!! I'm so sorry, everyone. This one and the next couple of chapters were supposed to be up around Christmas and it's nearly Valentine's Day. Nothing more to really say, just that I am truly very sorry. It's late, though, and I need to get some sleep, so I didn't proof read. I'll do it tomorrow. Enjoy this chappy and I will NOT take nearly as long to put up the next one! :)

**Chapter Eighteen **

Lucinda was exactly where Aurora thought she'd be: in their dormitory, melting into her bed covers. The air in the room was heavy and cold and had the feel of a funeral ceremony. The lights were off and Aurora peered through the darkness. Soon her eyes adjusted and she slid between the door and its frame.

"Lucy?" Aurora whispered, creeping into the room. "You okay?"

Lucinda stirred, but she did not answer. Aurora walked to the side of her bed and sat down on the edge of it. As soon as she came close enough to see Lucinda's face, she noticed how swollen and blotchy it was… _Shit, _Aurora thought. _This is looking bad._

"Lucinda," she said in a reassuring voice. "He really does care about you—"

"He _did_," Lucinda interjected. He voice was full of bitterness. "I don't think he does anymore… Not after what I did."

"You didn't do anything!" Aurora yelled suddenly. "Tristin is to blame for this!"

Lucinda shook her head, her face blank and expressionless. "No, he isn't to blame, Aurora. All he did was like me… And I guess I'm just a slut, because I led him on. It's no wonder Severus doesn't want me anymore. He probably thinks I'm just some stupid whore that doesn't care about him at all—" her voice broke and she leaned her head against the wall, as two fat tears erupted from her eyes and rolled down her face. "I n-never wanted this to happen…" she sobbed, her tears running rivers along her jaw and dribbling down her neck. "I had every int-tention of r-returning to him… Now h-he'll _never_ take me back!"

Aurora sighed in frustration. Why did all of this have to be so ridiculous? Why couldn't they just work it out, confess their love to each other and be happy?! Given, Aurora never wanted them together in the first place, but she'd rather that than _this. _Not this weepy… miserable… anxiety-ridden… _Sigh_.

"Lucinda," Aurora said, trying not to lose her temper (she'd been trying to work on it). "He's going to take you back. That is **inevitable**… He'd probably take you back, even if you murdered his mum or something!"

But Lucinda just continued to shake her head and cry.

"Alright, fine! Sit in your room and cry all day and night, but it's not going to get you anywhere!" Aurora blurted, before she could stop herself. Then she felt bad for saying it. Lucinda didn't look the least bit concerned, however, or that she'd even heard her. Aurora collected herself and tried again.

"Look, just give him some time, okay?" she said, softening her voice. Lucinda glanced over at her through the fan of fingers covering her leaking face. "Let him get over this Tristin thing- he's GOT to eventually- and then ask him back out…" she paused and touched her friend lightly on the shoulder. "Can you do that?"

Lucinda wasn't convinced, not at all. She felt as though the world had gone black in all her despair and that the sun would never shine again. Maybe she was being too melodramatic, but she nodded at Aurora's question, anyway. Perhaps if she made everyone else believe she was alright then she'd start believing it, too.

Aurora saw her nod and beamed. "Good! Now let's go down to dinner, please. I'm starving!"

They left the girls dormitory, after Lucinda had cleaned up her face with a little water, and proceeded into the Gryffindor common room, where Clover and Gabe were by the fire.

"There you are!" Clover said when he saw Lucinda. "I was wondering what was wrong when you came running in here, crying your eyes out… So, what happened?"

"Don't make her go into details right now, Clover," Aurora whispered angrily. Then she leaned in so only he could hear, "Her and Malcolm broke up." He drew his silver eyebrows down in concern and mouthed a silent, "oh."

"Come on, Plum," Gabe whispered, taking her by the elbow. His voice held much more emotion in it than usual, since he normally was very indifferent about a lot of things. It was a pleasant change, despite the sadness he was choosing to express for her at that distinct moment.

The four of them locked arms, as they headed off to dinner. Lucinda tried to shake off the growing dread in her stomach, watching Clover climb through the portrait hole first. Severus would be down there. He'd be sitting their so coolly, chatting with the headmaster or other teachers. How could she look at him now? How could she even be anywhere near him? Though, she still wanted to see him. She _always_ wanted to see him, even if he didn't want to see her. She didn't blame him for not wanting to see her. Did he want to? Did part of him even still care about her or want her back? _Nope_, Lucinda thought to herself. _Who wants a whore? Not him; no way…_

Lucinda and Aurora were just getting ready to disappear after the other two through the portrait hole, when they heard a woman's voice say, "Lucinda?" The two girls whipped around and their male companions poked their heads back in upon hearing the voice, as well. The voice spoke again, "Is my Lucinda in there?" All four students located it to the fireplace.

Judi Morgan's head was sitting comfortably in the bed of coals.

"Mama…"

x-x-x

Lucinda quickly walked over to the hearth and her friends followed behind her peering curiously over each other's shoulders to get a better look.

"Mama, what are you doing here?"

"Oh!" Mrs. Morgan's head in the fire exclaimed. "You _are_ here! Well, I'm glad I caught you before you went down to dinner."

Lucinda crouched down by the flames. Her mother smiled at her.

"Hello, dear," she said, still smiling. "How are you?"

"Fine," Lucinda lied. "Mama, why are you here?"

"I just thought I'd check up on you," she said, looking around the room. "Well, aren't you going to introduce me to all of your friends?"

"Oh, yeah," she said, remembering the three of them standing there. "This is Aurora- you met her on the platform- and beside her is her twin brother, Clover—"

"—Hello, mummy!—"

"—and then that one is Gabe, Clover's boyfriend."

Mrs. Morgan's eyes flashed to Gabe at the word "boyfriend". She looked at her daughter and said, "Oho! Well, well… That reminds me, Lucinda, are you dating anyone? Have you found anyone _special?_"

Lucinda's gaze flickered to Aurora for a fraction of a second and then came to rest on her mother again. "Well, I _was_ dating someone," she said, trying to sound nonchalant. "But it didn't really work out… We broke up."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that," Mrs. Morgan said sympathetically, though she didn't look that sorry. Lucinda waited, but her mother didn't say anything else.

"Sooo…" she said. "Is that all you came for? To ask if I've got a boyfriend?"

"Well, of course not," Mrs. Morgan answered, defensively. "I also wanted to know what day your holidays start."

Something stirred in Lucinda's mind. "Damn… I forgot to tell you," she said, smacking her forehead with her palm. "I can't come home for Christmas."

"Well, why _not?!_" the head in the flames said instantly.

"I've got too much work to make up," she admitted. "Those- what was it, three weeks-? Well, those weeks in the hospital wing really put me behind in my lessons. I'll need the entire break to catch up."

Mrs. Morgan frowned. "Well, you've never spent Christmas away from us," she said, disappointed. "What ever will you do without us on _Christmas?_"

"Oh, please, ma," Lucinda rolled her eyes. "I'm almost _eighteen!_ I'll be fine by myself."

"Well… I just… didn't want…" her mother mumbled to herself.

"Look," Lucinda sighed. "I've got to go now. We're going to be late for dinner and I can hear Aurora's stomach growling beside my ear." Aurora blushed and smacked the back of Clover's head when he snickered.

"Alright, _alright_," Mrs. Morgan said. "But I'll be poking my head in here again on Christmas!" Then she vanished. Lucinda sighed with relief.

"That woman," she said. "Is way too over-protective of me…"

When the four of them finally made it down to the Great Hall, dinner had already started and no one noticed their late arrival, being too absorbed in food and conversation. When they passed the Ravenclaw table, Aurora smiled and waved at Adam; he grinned and waved back. Then they reached the Gryffindor table and sat down in the only place left: right in front of the staff table. Out of habit, Lucinda glanced up at Snape, only to find he was staring at his goblet and not touching his plate. She had a feeling that he wasn't drinking pumpkin juice… but she hoped it wasn't anything stronger than wine. Who _knew_ what sort of things he'd start admitting to at random if he were intoxicated.

x-x-x

A week passed with nothing. Not a glance from Snape. Not a word. Not a notion to talk to her in any way, not even in Potions class. He barely talked in his own lessons. Everyone noticed his change in attitude. It wasn't that he was meaner, and he wasn't any _nicer_ either. He was just… unresponsive. One of his students would ask a question and he'd stare at them blankly, as if they were speaking a language he didn't understand. Then he would give a one word answer with an expressionless face. Students avoided him like the plague, more so than they usually did. They were most likely just afraid that he was going to snap at any second and go into a murderous rage, but some just didn't want him rubbing off on them. He walked into a room and the air tightened and everyone's happy faces pulled down into depressed little frowns. He was sucking everyone's joy out of them… and it was killing Lucinda. She couldn't watch him like this; with no elation or even _anger._ What she wouldn't give to have him yell at her just once in class… Just to know he was still alive inside.

Lessons seemed to drag on forever before the holidays arrived. Lucinda would be spending them alone, of course, because Aurora and Clover were both going home and Gabe was going with them. She didn't mind, though. Having the entire common room to herself everyday was just fine with her. She wouldn't have any distractions and, hopefully, all of her work would be done before Christmas… maybe.

Tristin was also going home for Christmas and, surprisingly, Lucinda was ecstatic about it and relieved in such a way she couldn't fathom. In the past week he'd apologized to her again at least fourteen more times (inconveniently in front of Snape for most of them) and she wanted to be free of his presence for a while. With him gone, maybe she could possibly get her Potions Master to even _speak_ to her again. Snape was looking paler and increasingly gaunt with each passing day, and Lucinda was terribly worried about him. He'd stopped coming to breakfast and would leave dinner early. It was highly unsettling.

The day before holidays started, Lucinda was coming out of the bathroom, when she heard voices rising inside the staff room.

"—been going on for too long now!" one of the voices was saying. She recognized it as Professor McGonagall's.

"Oh, stop it, Minerva. I just need a… good night's sleep," and that was _definitely_ Severus's voice, but it sounded indistinct.

"Yes, I'd say sleep _would_ help," she sneered. "But so would eating! Severus, you are wasting away to nothing!"

"Tell someone who cares!" he barked. "I'm _fine._"

"No, you're not," she practically laughed. "Especially, since you've been consuming excessive amounts of brandy every night."

"How do you—"

"Oh _please_, Severus!" she spat. "I'm not stupid, so don't insult me, and neither is anyone else… Even some of your students have come to me in concern."

"Ha!" he laughed in amusement. "And tell me, who was it that _came to you in concern?_" She didn't have a chance to answer before he continued on. "Don't insult _me_, Minerva," he whispered dangerously and Lucinda had to press her ear to the door to hear him. "You _know_ these kids don't give a FUCK about what happens to me." Before McGonagall could say a word in reply, the door to the staff room flew open and Snape stormed out, running full on into Lucinda. He looked completely aghast that it was _her_ he'd stumbled into. Lucinda tried to say something, _anything_, but no words would come.

Snape gave her a single glance full of distress and embarrassment, as he struggled with his own words. He turned and walked away from her as quickly as he could.

This was _not_ a good way to start the holidays…

x-x-x

The next day was when Aurora, Clover, and Gabe all left for the Borealis house. She said goodbye to them in the entrance hall, while nearly the entire school bustled around them with trunks and bags, ready to go home for Christmas. She felt relieved and sad at the same time. Aurora was the last to say her goodbyes to Lucinda and she pulled her into a long hug.

"Happy Christmas, Lucy."

"Happy Christmas, Rorie," Lucinda grinned. "Don't have _too_ much fun without me."

"Same to you," she replied, and then said in an undertone, "And get back in good terms with Snape again, alright? He's really starting to freak everyone out."

Lucinda smiled weakly. _Yeah right…_ she thought, as she waved goodbye to them (she wouldn't be seeing them again for a few weeks). Then she walked back up the marble staircase, determined to get started on her work right away.

When Lucinda arrived in the common room, she wasn't surprised at all to see no one else in there. She'd been right; there wasn't another person in Gryffindor beside herself left at the school. It was a very refreshing feeling, though slightly forlorn. Lucinda crossed the room and went up the spiral staircase to her dormitory. Three minutes later she had all of her books, quills, and parchment spread out over the floor in front of the fireplace. She sighed sadly to herself, as she took out her Transfiguration book. This was going to be a very long break…

The sun was already setting when Lucinda finally finished her first subject. She stood up, stretched and yawned, rubbing her tired and slightly unfocused eyes. Had she really been up here that long? Dinner was probably starting now. She should go down, but who would she sit with or talk to now? She'd be the _only_ person at the Gryffindor table.

Lucinda saw that she didn't need to worry, however, because there was just one long table occupying the Great Hall. Apparently, there were only three students left in the whole school, including herself. One of them was a blonde first year from Hufflepuff and the other was Adam Bailey. Adam was in deep conversation with Professor Dumbledore when she walked in. She scanned the table for a seat. All of the teachers were there, sitting together, chatting about lessons and Christmas, and the only one _not_ talking was Professor Snape. He was at the end of the table, not touching his food once again, and didn't seem to be paying attention to anything. He was staring at a spot on the table and had his hands around the goblet in front of him. Lucinda felt her stomach jolt once she realized the only seat left was beside him.

Snape gave a start when he felt something brush against his leg. He glanced down out of his peripheral vision and saw the blue jeans next to him. He didn't need to look at the rest of her. He knew who it was. He could smell her… But he looked anyway. He stared for a long while at her face. Lucinda kept her gaze on the plate in front of her and said, "Um… hi."

Snape didn't say anything. He just looked at her a moment longer, before taking a large gulp of the substance in his glass. Then he said suddenly, "Why are you here?"

Lucinda was very offended by this. "Why can't I be here? Do you not want me here?" she whispered tensely, still not looking at him.

He leaned his elbow on the table and looked off in the distance, swirling the liquid in his cup lazily. "Shouldn't you be with your family for Christmas?" he said in a bored tone, ignoring her questions.

Regardless of his tone, Lucinda couldn't even begin to express how grateful she was that he'd said something to her. "I have too much work to do," she answered. "I've only gotten through one subject today."

He didn't say anything more after that. It was a start, though. Lucinda didn't know what to say to him while everyone else was around. She wanted to apologize to him and ask him why he wasn't eating anymore and why he was drinking so much. She wanted to know if he still cared about her. Lucinda's longings got the best of her and she reached over, grabbing the hand he had resting on his knee.

"Severus…" she said, so quietly he barely heard her.

Snape closed his eyes. Why was she doing this, especially in front of everyone? Did she really think he was going to turn and kiss her or something? Tell her how much he loved her? Sweep her off her feet? Fuck that shit.

Lucinda waited, praying he would squeeze her hand. She watched him breathe deeply, his face as still as stone, expressionless, as always. His eyes remained closed. When he opened them again, he quickly removed his hand from hers and placed it on the other side of his goblet, downing the rest of the substance inside. Then Snape stood up and left the table, without a glace in her direction at all.

"Dear, dear," said Professor Dumbledore, gravely. "I do hope Severus gets back on his feet again… He's looking _dreadful_."

Lucinda sat half turned toward the spot where Severus had been sitting, her hand still clutched in mid air beneath the table. She stared at it and her heart thudded in her chest so loudly she thought everyone would hear… He'd been so cold to her… Why couldn't he just forgive her? It wasn't as if she'd _wanted_ Tristin to kiss her, and she hadn't _wanted _to enjoy it, either. It just… happened.

Severus didn't leave the dungeons for several days after that. Lucinda grew worried. She hoped the house elves were taking him food and that he wasn't drinking so much. She was afraid all of that alcohol and lack of nutrition was going to kill him.

Lucinda got through three more of her subjects in the passing days. Now all she had left was Herbology and Potions. The only problem was that she needed to get the work for Potions from her Professor. She'd been putting it off, but now it was becoming unavoidable. She'd have to go down and see him.

So, on Christmas Eve, Lucinda left her dormitory at half past eight o'clock in the evening and walked down to the dungeons. It was a lot colder than usual, probably because it was the middle of winter, and Lucinda had failed to bring her cloak again. She shivered slightly and rubbed her arms vigorously, as Snape's office door came into view. She knocked once she was in front of it and then waited.

A hoarse voice from inside said, "What is it?"

Lucinda opened the door and saw Snape sitting at his desk, propped up on his left elbow, and clutching an entire bottle of clear liquid in his right hand. When he saw her he blinked several times, obviously trying to get his eyes to focus properly… He was drunk. She took a few steps forward and then said, "Professor?"

He inclined his head. "Hm?" He saw about three of her at that particular moment. In all honesty he could barely function, let alone talk. She'd picked a _bad_ night to come there. He'd switched to the harder liquor on a whim; hoping vodka would drown out the image of her face from his mind. She was making it difficult to do so by standing there. Either way, he didn't care. He'd probably black out sometime soon, anyway…

"Well, um…" she mumbled. "I need my make up work from your class."

Snape sighed and swiveled in his chair like a bored child. "Ahhh yes…" he said, surprisingly eloquently. "Your make up work… Is that all, Miss Morgan?" His eyes rolled to the ceiling and he puffed out his cheeks, awaiting her answer.

Lucinda hesitated a moment, before saying, "No, that's not all… Actually, I've got a lot more to say." He needed to hear it now. She didn't care if he was intoxicated or not. She'd been working up the courage to come there all day and now that she was finally there, she wasn't going to leave without saying what needed to be said.

Snape was shaking his head halfway through her sentence and waved a hand in her direction, motioning for her to stop talking. She looked taken aback and slightly annoyed. Then Snape said, closing his eyes, "And what, my little student, could you _possibly…_ have to say to me?" He opened his eyes and looked at her, more or less. "Hm?"

Rightly pissed off and embarrassed now, Lucinda crossed her arms. "I-I would like it if you'd call me 'Lucinda', for starters," she said and looked away from him.

He stared at her, his lips parted slightly. Then he said shortly, "No."

Her head snapped back to him. "Why?" she asked instantly.

"I don't _know_," he said, yawning. "You tell me… It's too 'informal', isn't it?" He'd jab at her in any way he could, since he was so drunk he was beginning to think a good run around the castle a few times would do him some good. Then maybe fall in the Black Lake and drown. Oh, that would be interesting…

Lucinda walked to his desk and put her hands on the top of it. "No, it's not," she said, matter-of-fact like. "I think it's _quite_ appropriate, actually—"

"Woah woah woah… woah," he said putting a hand up and closing his eyes in a pained expression. "A little close there. Back it up."

Lucinda looked about ready to strangle him. He was acting like a complete _idiot!_ "And another thing!" she belted, snatching the bottle of clear liquid out of his hand. "What the fuck is _this_ all about?! Why are you—?!"

Snape slammed his hands down on the desk and stood up, hunching his shoulders and glaring ruthlessly at her. "Look here, little girl…" he growled. "Never… _EVER_… use that language in front of me again… Do you understand me?" He straightened up and snatched the bottle back from her.

"O-Or what?" she asked, trying to sound unafraid, but failing miserably.

"Or… I'll…" he began, but suddenly his eyes rolled in the back of his head and he swayed on the spot.

"Severus—" Lucinda gasped and bolted around the desk and threw her arms out to push him against the wall, keeping him as steady as she could. He fought her off, forgetting about the bottle in his hand and let it crash to the floor. Then he put his hands on the stone wall behind him and leaned his back against it. Lucinda stood and watched him, her face stamped with worry.

"What, no 'Professor' this time?" he sneered.

That was the last straw. "Damn it, Severus!" Lucinda cried. She couldn't take this any longer. She was tired of playing this game with him. "Why can't you just forgive me?! _Why?!_"

Snape closed his eyes. He was tired, too. So very tired of everything. He didn't notice her step in front of him, but he felt his heart rate quicken even more when she placed a hand on his chest. He instantly took one of his hands off of the wall and placed it over hers. She smelled good and her skin was soft. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and never let her go again…

It nearly broke her heart when he suddenly pushed her away from him and said, "Your make up work is right here," and reached for a stack of parchment on his desk that he handed to her. She took it with limp hands. Then it hit finally hit her: they were never going to be together again… He was never going to forgive her... Her eyes welled up with burning tears.

"S-Severus," she pleaded. "Please… don't… d-do this…"

Snape wiped at her cheeks. "Don't cry," he said. "Just go up to your dormitory now and get some sleep, but please don't cry… You don't have any reason to."

"No _r-reason?!_" Lucinda sobbed. "You won't take me back! That _is _a reason!"

"Lucinda…" he said gently, speaking her name for the first time in god knows how long. "We both know you don't want to be with me… And," he added difficultly. "I don't think I can bear to be led on a second time."

"B-But I didn't l-lead you on!" she cried, hysterically. "I really d-do care about you, Severus!"

"Yes, I know," he said quietly. "But you care about everyone… I'm no different."

Lucinda shook her head, "It's not true!"

"Shh, it's alright," he said walking her to the door. He was, once again, surprisingly well controlled with his movements, despite having almost blacked out a moment ago. "There's no reason to continue this, Lucinda. I understand that you feel guilty for not feeling the same way about me, but it's alright… I'm okay with it, really."

"But, I—" she started as he pushed her through the door.

"Don't," he warned. "You don't have to pretend any longer, now. Just go." And then he shut the door, feeling his mind tearing apart inside as he did so. He rested his forehead against the wood and breathed rapidly. His head was spinning.

He staggered backward into the middle of the green rug on his floor.

"Fuck…" he mumbled and the floor rushed up to meet his face.

Then everything went black.


	19. Christmas Break part 2

**Author's Note: **Hi guys. Long time, no see. I haven't updated this monstrosity for nearly a YEAR. No fan fiction should have to sit and collect dust for that length of time. I really have been getting quite caught up in my own life, though. But, you know, this _is_ part of my life. I love writing this story. It should be restored and placed upon a pedestal! Maybe not. It needs work. Haha. And the fact that there are others out there, who love it as well, still blows my mind to a new galaxy! I have reread my oldest chapters and winced about 5 times a minute. How could I have written some of that? Didn't I know that it sounded so completely and utterly abhorrent? Ugh, I wince again. There are spelling errors here and there and someday I will go back through and fix everything EXACTLY to my liking, but for right now I'm just trying to continue releasing chapters to my few fans :) I thank you all so very much for simply reading and enjoying, even if you have never reviewed (and it's actually all thanks to Madame Toot for leaving me that very honest comment that I have finally finished this next chapter). I don't know if I could ever finish this without all of you. Lots of love from Illinois, USA! P.S. KEEP FUCKIN READING! You knowww you want to. ;]

**Chapter Nineteen**

Lucinda woke on Christmas morning feeling completely alone. No sounds came from the beds around her. Time felt frozen as she looked to the window. Frost covered the glass. It was still pretty early and Lucinda imagined the house elves working quickly in the kitchen to prepare Christmas breakfast. Of course, it could already be done. Everyone might even be halfway through the meal by now and it wouldn't have made a difference to her. Time didn't move as she lay there beneath her covers. She lacked the care to move or even continue breathing. Upon trying to find something to be grateful and happy for, she gave up and pushed it aside completely. There was no point in even trying to think of a reason to smile when the only ounce of will she had left was fastened tightly against her longing to be with Severus… But now she knew the truth: he really _didn't_ want to be with her anymore. He didn't want anything to do with her. He didn't want her and he sure as hell didn't need her. The pain that this fact caused her was unbearable. So much so that her grief all but consumed her, keeping her buried and unmoving under her covers that morning. She didn't want to move or think or feel anything at all.

Lucinda turned her head slightly on her pillow and breathed in. It smelled like sea water. She'd spent the entire night sobbing into it (so loudly, in fact, that she thought she might wake up the entire castle). Severus had told her not to cry, but that just made her want to do it more. How could he do this? How could this entire situation have spun out of control like it did? Lucinda took deep breaths through her nose and let them out slowly through her mouth. She felt incapable of facing the day. Not like this. Would she even be able to walk down to Christmas breakfast and sit there in front of teachers and the headmaster and Adam and pretend to be happy? Maybe she could just stay up here until Christmas break was over… Lucinda sighed in agitation and stared up at the canopy above her bed. This wouldn't do. She couldn't be that person. She _had_ to get up…

It took all of her might to actually sit up all of the way in bed. Her body felt so heavy and her mind was groggy from the restless night she'd had. Lucinda was just about to fall back into the covers again when her foot brushed against something at the end of her bed. Then she noticed the small pile of packages at her feet. She hadn't expected presents; maybe one from her parents, but not four of them. Lucinda hesitated, eyeing the gifts suspiciously. They could be anything. What if it was just a bunch of ooshy gooshy rubbish that made her feel worse? Lucinda took a chance and then reached for the closest one. Upon tearing it open, she saw a note from Aurora.

_Hey, Lucy! I hope everything is going well for you. Any progress with Malcolm? Well, he'll come around, so don't worry about it too much. If all else fails, I've sent you a secret weapon. Just slip it in his drink when he's not looking! Cheers, Rorie_

Lucinda picked up a small pink bottle that was unmistakably a love potion. She smiled. Instead of making her feel worse, this was just amusing. Hopefully, she wouldn't need to use it. _Though, _she thought. _I don't think I'd want to _force_ him to feel anything, anyway… _She put the bottle on her bedside table and picked up another of her presents. This one had a short note scribbled on the side of it.

_This will make even the strongest of men beg at your feet! Plus, it's veela made, so you _know_ it's good._

Then it had a little winking face at the end of the sentence and Lucinda shook her head with a roll of the eyes. _Clover…_ She then opened the gift and found a small pearl colored bottle under the wrappings. At first, she thought it was another love potion, but then she noticed it had a sort of nozzle on it… It was perfume. She instantly sprayed some of it in the air and sniffed curiously. Lucinda's pupils dilated and her salivary glands kicked into overdrive. What was this? It had such a peculiar scent. She couldn't even describe it. Her mouth watered and she felt a little lightheaded the more she breathed in. Looking on the back of the bottle she saw one piece of writing: "Warning- this scent may affect each individual differently. Use with caution." Lucinda suddenly had this vision of Clover faking a seizer on the ground. She snorted, unable to shake away the image of his flailing body.

_He sure knows how to pick a present… _Lucinda thought to herself, as she turned the bottle over and over in her hands. The glass was slick and cold to the touch, like it had been out in the snow for hours. "Hmm…" Lucinda held out her arms as far as she could. "Don't want it too strong…" Then she gently squeezed the nozzle.

Microscopic droplets landed on the soft flesh of her neck and clung to the fibers of her hair. It felt cool and tingled slightly, followed by a warmth that creped up her throat and fused itself under the epidermis. She felt almost… rejuvenated. With her new found enthusiasm, Lucinda flung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up, suddenly ready to face the day after all. In doing this, though, she'd knocked the last two packages onto the floor. One was a tin of oatmeal raisin cookies from her parents, and the other was a book from Gabe.

It was a large, black, slightly tattered old book with gold writing on it.

_**Dark and Advanced Potions They Won't Teach You in School**_

Lucinda stared at it in awe. How did Gabe know to get her _exactly_ what she would love? He really was an interesting fellow…

She opened the book and was surprised to find that the pages were completely black with the same gold writing as on the cover. The text seemed to shimmer and slither on the paper. It was somewhat unnerving, but Lucinda's excitement and curiosity overrode that sentiment.

She left the dormitory only a few moments later, having changed into jeans and a t-shirt, with the potions book still clutched in her hands. She continued reading the dark pages as she walked down the marble staircase and into the Great Hall. Her feet led her to the seat next to Adam, because her eyes were poring over the pages beneath her nose. She instinctively sat down on the bench without looking and her concentration wasn't broken until the boy beside her said, "Hey uhh, Lucy…"

Lucinda looked up from the book and Adam's face was two inches from hers. He was almost looking _through_ her…

"Hey, so you- youuu there is something _different_ about YOU today," he rolled his eyes to the ceiling in a crazed manner and waggled a finger at her.

Lucinda just stared, dumbfounded. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Uhh, Adam?" she scooted several inches away from him. "Are you _drunk_ or something?"

Adam suddenly shook his head and looked at her in confusion. "No, of course not… I don't drink… Hm." He raised his eyes skeptically at her and went back to his breakfast.

Lucinda's eyes lingered on him for a moment longer, wondering if he was playing a joke. Then she remembered that Adam didn't play jokes… like, EVER. She turned her gaze away, only to find that Professor Snape was seated directly in front of her and he looked sicker than he ever had. His skin had a grey tint to it and he looked as if any moment now he'd upchuck all across the table.

"Happy Christmas, Miss Morgan!" Professor Dumbledore said from Snape's side (who winced at the headmaster's eagerness). "I hope you enjoy our holiday decorations." He indicated the twelve marvelously adorned evergreens lining the Great Hall.

"Oh, yes," Lucinda said, looking around in all directions. "It's all very beautiful, Professor… I'm glad I'm here to see it." Dumbledore beamed.

"What's that you've got, Lucinda?" Adam asked, staring at the black Potions book.

"Oh," she said, closing it. "It was a gift from Gabe." She wasn't really sure if she was even allowed to have a book like this. Would they take it from her?

"Hmm," Adam said, his brow pulled into a frown. "It looks kind of… _dark_."

Lucinda shrugged. "Yeah, I know," she said, staring at her plate. "That's one of the reasons why I like it so much."

She looked up and saw Snape staring at her, a one-sided smirk just barely gracing his lips. Then he seemed to realize what he must have looked like and dropped his gaze to his lap. Lucinda sighed and turned back to her book. _Oh no, Professor _she thought, sarcastically. _Must not let anyone see you _smile_, heaven forbid they'll think something is _wrong _with you! _She shook his face from her thoughts and concentrated on the pages before her. After a moment more of reading, she put the book down and picked up a warm biscuit from the steaming bowl in the center of everything else. Then she reached across the table for the jam, but when she picked the jar up, her hands shook so bad she dropped it again.

Snape looked up at her, as she clasped her hands together in her lap. He watched her searching her pockets, but then she stopped, her face falling in sudden dread. How could she have forgotten it? Snape exhaled noisily from his mouth in a great sigh and shook his head. He shouldn't get involved, but… How could he not? _What would she have done if I wasn't here..?_ He thought to himself.

Before she even had a chance to really start to panic, Lucinda felt something brush against her fingertips. She looked up to see her Potions Master bent forward in an awkward position, as he slipped something into her palm under the table. She looked down, as he withdrew his hand. It was insulin. He still carried extras in his pocket. _Of course he did… _Lucinda thought sadly to herself. She lifted her head to meet his eyes, only to be disappointed by his downcast gaze. He wasn't even looking at her. He faced his empty plate. Lucinda breathed in and took the insulin, making sure not to let Adam see it.

"Rough night, Severus?" Professor McGonagall asked quietly on the other side of him. Snape shrugged and leaned an elbow on the table. McGonagall looked murderous. "I _told_ you to stop drinking!" she whispered, angrily. Lucinda seemed to be the only one who was paying attention to the two of them. She wondered if it was because everyone else was too absorbed in other conversations or perhaps because she was straining so much to hear them.

"Keep your little Gryffindor nose out of my business!" he hissed in McGonagall's ear.

Lucinda watched him in misery. She wanted to lunge across the table and shake him until he finally snapped out of this ridiculous boozing phase he was in. Why did he have to resort to something so destructive? And why did he insist on doing this to himself? Didn't he know that it was killing her along with him?

Severus saw her facial expression from his peripheral vision, but didn't turn to look at her. His stomach twisted at the dejected appearance on her face. What the hell was that look for? It was _her_ fault he was drinking himself unconscious every night… but she didn't know that. Even if she did, what difference would it make? She'd still not love him… She'd _never. _She was a child. Children did not fall in love. They fell into infatuation, delusions, fantasies… They did not fall in love. He'd learned that a long time ago and he vowed to hold onto that knowledge for future protection from unwanted heartache and grief.

The girl sitting across from him continued to look into his face, trying to talk to him telepathically. She wished he'd read her mind right now. Then he'd know how much she wanted to be with him; how much she cared for him… and how much she didn't know she loved him.

x-x-x

Christmas day went on in the castle as usual. All of the staff members were in high spirits and Lucinda envied them for it. What she wouldn't give to be able to sing carols, whilst she wandered the halls, chatting merrily to the portraits she passed. Christmas used to be one of her favorite holidays. This time of year gave her such a case of nostalgia and usually she'd spend it trying to please others, rather than herself, but today felt like the anniversary of someone's death. There wasn't an ounce of cheerful blood left in her veins. Severus's face hovered in her vision, behind her eyes, at the base of her subconscious, in her dreams, and in all of her senses. Her will to carry on like this was growing dimmer by the day.

It was quiet in the courtyard, so Lucinda was very grateful for that. It meant no one else was around to hear her cry, not that she was being all that loud. Sounds seemed to be magnified in that stone-enclosed vicinity, however, so each shudder of her breath and each stifled wail bounced around her, ricocheting off of the walls. She couldn't even escape from her own wretchedness. It was thrown back in her face, almost mockingly. _So cruel…_ she thought, in repugnance.

"Ooooohh!" cooed a gleeful voice from up above. "Such sad sounds for such a _pretty_ _face…_"

Lucinda wiped quickly at her cheeks and looked up. A little man was hovering in circles above her, his expression that of someone who'd just won a thousand Galleons. He grinned wickedly at her.

"Are you Peeves, sir?" Lucinda asked. He looked, if possible, even more gleeful.

"Why, _yes!_" he sang, giving her a bow in midair. "And, I must say, being called 'sir' is quite fun! Would you call me that _all_ the time?"

"If you'd like," she answered. Peeves clasped his hands together in joy.

"Now," he said in a stern, fatherly tone. "What ever is the matter with Snapey's little pet? Is he being a big meany nose again?"

It caught Lucinda off guard when Peeve's referred to her as Severus's "little pet". So, the school's poltergeist noticed her as the teacher's pet, as well… Well, not anymore. She wished it were actually true. You can't exactly be teacher's pet if the teacher won't speak to you in the first place and randomly kicks you out of their office multiple times.

"Yeah," Lucinda half shrugged, half nodded. "Something like that."

Peeves soared around on his back and said, "Ahhh well, we can go write naughty words on his chalkboard, if you want… But I'll probably just do it anyway."

"Ah-um… No, that's quite alright," she replied, trying not to outright laugh at him. "I'm fine with staying where I am at the moment." As amusing as it would have been, Lucinda had to decline, though she smiled somewhat at the thought. His face would be priceless, but Severus would never believe she did it anyway. Well, then what difference would it make? Maybe she should… Lucinda rolled her eyes at herself. No. Vandalizing chalkboards wasn't exactly her cup-o-tea, let alone with the castle's poltergeist.

Peeves continued to circle above her, humming merrily to himself. Lucinda watched him, wondering why everyone despised him so much. Possibly more than they despised Snape and that was _extreme_ hatred, right there.

A cold wind came through the courtyard suddenly and blew powdery snow into her face. Lucinda shivered. She'd been sitting out there for hours and having another being there pulled her out of the numb fog she was in. It was _cold_ outside. She'd known it was cold and everything, but this was just a bit ridiculous. _Quite poissbly, though… _Lucinda marveled. _It could be because my pants are completely soaked to my skin from sitting here. _She decided it was best to go back inside, though she couldn't help feeling that she deserved this discomfort.

"Well, Sir Peeves," Lucinda said, slowly bringing herself to a stand. "I think I'll go inside now… Happy Christmas and it was very nice to meet you."

Peeves waved a hand dramatically, said "adue" and soared off to another part of the castle. Lucinda smiled. _He wasn't so bad_ she though, making her way through the corridors leading to the Great Hall. _He was actually quite funny._

After a few minutes (only stopping once to dry her pants with a quick spell) she'd reached the Hall, where she found Adam and the Headmaster at the long table playing a game of Exploding Snap. They looked completely comical. Lucinda sat down beside Adam and watched them. It was hilarious looking at Adam's shocked expression each time the stack fo cards exploded in his face.

"I've just met Peeves," Lucinda said to the Headmaster. "He didn't seem very mean… Why does everyone dislike him so much?"

Professor Dumbledore began stacking the cards again. "Ah yes, well, I've always said that Peeves is misunderstood," he said, giving her a half smile. "But many people think he's quite… unreasonable? Which he is, for the most part… But, I take it, you did not see this side of him?"

Lucinda shook her head. "No, I didn't," she answered. "The Peeves I met was very nice… to _me_, anyway." She couldn't say the same for others, because Sir Peeves had only _just_ finished asking her to… "Oh…" Lucinda voiced unintentionally. She suddenly thought of Peeves' invitation to Snape's chalkboard. "That reminds me, I'd better warn Professor Snape about Peeves." Dumbledore looked up at her. "He told me he was going to write bad words on his board."

"As always," Dumbledore chuckled. "You'll find Professor Snape in his office, Miss Morgan… He's been spending most of his time down there, lately."

Lucinda heard Adam yelp with shock at the exploding stack of cards as she walked out of the Great Hall and through the door that led to the dungeons. She wasn't actually going to warn him about Sir Peeves. That thought flew from her mind the moment his office door came into view. She just wanted to see him… and possibly get him to finally tell her why they couldn't just put the past behind them and be together.

Snape _was_ in his office, exactly as she knew she'd find him: with a bottle clutched in his hand and a dead expression on his face. She had a feeling this was going to be a daily routine.

"Starting a bit early tonight, are we?" she said as she walked in without so much as a knock.


	20. Christmas Break part 3

**A/n: **It astounds me how truly selfish I can be sometimes. As of late, every time I put up a new chapter of HaB I repeated the same thing over again, sounding like a broken record; a shitty, lying, deceiving, broken record. "I won't take as long to update next time, I swear." Bullshit. Do you guys call my bullshit? You should. But wait a minute, before I get ahead of myself and cause all of my readers to go, "Oh, she's right." *un-favorite* Pahaha… I also need to say that this chapter has been _nearly_ finished for MONTHS. I just couldn't get the last part out. I would leave the story and return to it. I did this several times and all that came out of it was maybe a sentence or two. That's not good. So I left it for a long time; a few months long time… I'm so sorry. -facepalm/sadface/headdesk- I want to thank a certain person for bringing me out of my funk. These reviews are what keep me going. ALL of your reviews keep me going and theirs is what slapped me across the face and said "WAKE UP!" So, elizamae… THANK YOU. I sat and stared at your review for like five minutes straight just going "aghhhhhh?" I even had to run with my shitty laptop in my arms to my mom so I could read it to her. She was impressed with your review, as well. (;

NOW! The show must go on… Oh and, by the way, you can now google me: Betsy DelValley. It's not for anything literary related, though… Haha. And if you ever wonder what the hell happened to me ever again, you can follow me: twitter(dot)com/#!/GravityFair

**Chapter Twenty**

He saw her standing in front of him; the chocolate waves of her hair that curled around her pale cheeks, thin arms that hung heavily on either side of her body, her eyes that once shown bright and were now downcast and tinted pink. She stood defiantly, ready for the world, ready to win her battles; ready for him to even dare tell her she was wrong. Thus, she still appeared so very tired. There were purple patches under her eyes. But it was strange. He saw her standing there before she'd even entered the room; before he'd even heard her coming. It seemed as though he already envisioned the moments to come mere seconds before she opened his office door.

There he was, sitting at his desk, staring at the bottle in his hand and not really drinking much of it anymore. He took a sip every few minutes, but that was it. He'd basically been on a permanent booze fest for the past couple of weeks and could no longer tell what was sober and what wasn't. Either way, he was sure no matter what kind of shit he was drinking it shouldn't make him see the future. Of course, at the moment he saw Lucinda's ghostly figure standing there, he didn't _know _she'd be standing in that exact same spot, in the exact same way, in only ten more seconds. As quickly as the figure was there, it was gone the moment Lucinda flew through the door and slammed it behind her, stepping into the shadow of where her faux self had just been.

Her hands hung at the sides of her body for an instant and then pulled up to her waist where the tips of her fingers just barely grasped the tops of her hips. Snape saw all of this at a glance. He needed no more than that. He kept his eyes on the bottle in front of him. He felt her burning gaze tearing his composure apart, or what little he had left.

"Starting a bit early tonight, are we?"

The tone in her voice did not match her face. She was quiet, sweet, emotional, happy… Or at least, she should have been; not this sullen shell of resentment. This was not who she was. Snape saw through her disguise. She was falling apart, as was he. He squeezed his eyes shut a moment to drown out her voice and everything that went with it. Then he propped his head up with his elbow on the desk. His skull felt very heavy.

"Yeah, I guess," he said quietly, looking at her shoes. She was wearing a pair of shiny pearl colored ballet flats. They had a bow on the toes. He exhaled deeply and took another sip from the bottle in his hand.

Lucinda didn't like the peculiar sound in his voice. It was different than his usual snide answers. His voice held sadness. It went beyond what she'd heard come out of his mouth before. This made her angry. He had no reason to be sad. Hadn't he told her that himself? She wasn't allowed to feel bad, to cry, or to be upset, so neither was he. As quickly as she felt the anger sweep through her, though, it retreated into sorrow. Why must he make her feel this way? It was so tiring. It had turned her into someone she'd never been before; someone she'd never _wanted_ to be_._ Lucinda took two slow steps toward his desk.

Severus shifted his eyes upright to look at her. Her delicate eyebrows were pulled down in what looked to be concern, that which was unmistakably trying to be suppressed. Her flats made no sound as they stepped across the serpent rug on his floor. As she moved and swam through his vision, his eyes did their best to follow. His head started to swim. Something was different. He could tell now. The closer she got to him, the more he could feel it, see it… sense it. Something invaded every pore of his being and momentarily stunned him into silence. He watched her move closer. She was in front of his desk now, only inches away from grazing the wood with the hem of her shirt. Lucinda looked down, wrapping her left arm around her front, while she rested the elbow to her right arm on top of the other. She placed her right handed fingertips to her temple. Snape lifted his head to look at her properly and cringed when he saw the tears already falling from her closed eyes.

"Lucinda…" he whispered, mentally urging her tears to somehow reverse their route and slip back beneath the skin.

She was trying to hold it in, to hide it with the hand to her face in some way, knowing all too well that he could see everything. Lucinda brought both hands to her face and covered her eyes. _Don't look, don't look… _Her mind said. _Please don't look at me… _

The man sitting before her did not blink and his gaze never fell from her covered face.

Lucinda's breath came shorter with the cry that fought to be released and she immediately clamped a hand over her mouth, spinning on the spot away from him. She wiped roughly at her cheeks and hurried to the door. She had to get out of there. She wanted to beg for forgiveness, beg to be taken back, beg to have him smile, to laugh, to hug her, but suddenly she could not speak. What was there left to say? She'd voiced everything she could have so many times, or at least tried. It didn't seem like anything was going to get through to him. What else could she do? What else was there left to do to make him see: that she couldn't spend another day beating down the ache in her heart when he wouldn't even look at her in the previous weeks.

The drapery on the wall that concealed his bedroom swayed gently from the sudden movement from the girl. Snape looked at it and remembered the night she'd slept in his bed and he on the couch. He lay awake that night, simply listening to her small movements and quiet, sighing breaths… Now everything was different. She was walking away from him again. And he was letting her. Tears falling from those beautiful eyes, and he was letting them. Why?

Snape let go of the bottle in his hand, leaving it on the desk, then stood and pointed his wand at the door. It locked. Lucinda stumbled to a halt and whipped her head around to look at him. This _couldn't _be happening…

"What are you doing?" she demanded. She sounded almost exasperated.

Ignoring her question, he sat back down. Nothing really seemed like the right thing to do anymore. He was just acting in selfishness now.

"Severus," she said loudly, a twinge of frustration in her voice. Lucinda turned back around and marched to the front of his desk. "What do you want from me? Tell me now, because I can't keep being jerked around like this."

Snape merely looked at her a moment, his face blank. He leaned back in his chair and blew the air out of his nose in a small sigh and thought a moment. "I don't know…" he said, finally. Lucinda rolled her eyes to the ceiling and turned her back to him, once again set on exiting the room.

"Alohomora," she said loudly and wrenched open the door.

Snape was up from his seat in less than two seconds and pulling her back inside his office in three.

"Hey—!" she exclaimed, yanking her wrist from his grasp. "Would you just _stop it? _I don't know what you want from me!"

Apparently unaffected, Snape shut the door and locked it once more, this time with an impenetrable spell. "Sit down," he said.

"No," she replied automatically. "I'm not sitting and I am not staying here. You practically _threw_ me out the last time I was standing in this very spot and now you want me to be all calm and _sit?_" Lucinda shoved him away from her, surprising herself along with the one her hands collided with. "I am not a dog!"

Snape staggered back and looked at her. He was actually slightly annoyed. He unconsciously put a hand to his chest where her palms had just been. Did she really just push him?

"No, what are you— Severus, get away from me!" Lucinda shrieked, while a chagrined Snape flung her over his shoulder. He instantly put a silencing charm on the room. "LET GO OF ME!" she shouted, struggling to escape the tight clutch of his arm. He dropped her into the chair in front of his desk, abiding her request. Lucinda stood back up instantly and slapped the side of his face, striking him for the second time that day. She immediately regretted it. Snape's face was turned away from her, still frozen in shock and humiliation and she braced herself for what he might do next. Hit her maybe? He could… He was capable of a lot of things, but was violence toward her one of them? She saw the blood surfacing to his face where she'd struck him. Her hand tingled slightly.

The Potions Master stared at the drapery on his wall again. She actually hit him. All he was trying to do was talk to her and she HIT him? He turned his face to her with a look that clearly said "Now, what the fuck was THAT for?"

Lucinda plopped back down in the chair and held her forehead within her hands. "I'm sorry!" she said instantly. She'd hit him again. How could she have done it _again?_ She wasn't like this. She wasn't that kind of person… Lucinda paused a moment before she whispered, "Please, don't be mad at me anymore…" It was a lot to ask for. In turn, they had both been disagreeable with one another. She felt as though she really didn't deserve his forgiveness… She selfishly wanted it, though, no matter what she had done.

Snape rubbed the side of his face a moment and then ignored the minor pain all together. Honestly, he probably deserved that in some way or another. Ah well, wouldn't be the first time…

Lucinda relaxed a little when she felt his hand sift through her hair. He ran his fingers over the smooth puffs of her dark locks and then let his hand fall back to his side. "I'm never mad at you," he said simply. In all honesty, it was probably the intoxicated blood running through his veins that caused him to even dare touch her. There wasn't a moment that he didn't _want_ to, but considering she threatened to report him once… It was probably best he kept a distance of three or four feet. Snape left her side to sit back down in his chair, allowing the desk to separate them once more.

She let out the breath she'd been holding and lifted her head from her hands. Snape had the bottle of whiskey back in his hands. He took a sip from it. Lucinda bolted across the desk, scattering papers onto the floor and snatched it from him, or at least tried to. He ogled back at her, his eyes wide and his hands hanging on with a significantly strong grip. She pulled on the container, while her bottom was on the edge of his desk and her feet planted on the arms of his chair. Severus pulled back and Lucinda kicked him in the chest in a mad fury to get the alcohol away from him. It flew out of her hands and shattered on the wall.

Everything was silent for several seconds. Snape made no movements and Lucinda stared back at him in horror at her own actions. Before she could register what was happening, she felt herself being pushed back against the top of his desk. He held her wrists down and Lucinda glared up at him.

"What do you think you're—"

"Shut up!" he yelled, his face only a few inches from hers. Lucinda fell into complete silence. Well, _this_ kind of threw the idea of not touching her out of the window… "I told you not to come here again and do this, but you did it anyway! _Why_ are you here, Lucinda?" She didn't speak. "WHY?" he repeated, his anger just about boiling over.

Lucinda stared over his head at the ceiling. Yeah… Why _did_ she come? She really had bad incentive for it; considering the last time she'd been there he'd made it very clear they were over. Why would she continue this escapade? Oh yeah, that's right. Because living a life without him would be a life half lived…

Snape watched her face carefully, waiting to hear her answer, not knowing whether or not he really wanted to. Her expression didn't change. It was blank, looking toward the ceiling at nothing. He loosened his grip on her wrists slightly, afraid he might be hurting her. Lucinda didn't seem to notice. She finally shifted her eyes down and looked at him.

"I want you to stop drinking," she said quietly, but clearly.

Severus let go of her instantly and flopped back into his chair with a sneer and rolled his eyes at her. This was _not _the answer he'd wanted to hear.

"I'm serious," she said, pushing herself up to a sitting position. "It is completely destroying you."

He pulled his right leg up so that the ankle rested on his left knee and then raised his eyebrows. "What I'd like to know is why the hell you care," he said bluntly, lacing his fingers together across his torso, while resting his elbows on the arms of the chair.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake!" Lucinda called to the ceiling. "Why _wouldn't _I care?"

"I don't know," Severus said in a careless manner. "_Humor_ me."

Lucinda shook her head in disbelief and crossed her arms. She stayed silent.

"Well, isn't this insightful?" He mused maliciously, after a moment passed between them in silence. Lucinda looked back at him, her mouth slightly open and her brow forming a wrinkle between her eyes. Snape stood up and wrapped a hand around her upper arm. "Go then," he said, pulling a little. "What the hell are you still doing here if you have nothing to say?"

Her eyes stared up into his. She tried to see the thoughts and emotions they once held, but now she saw none. Simply put, they were empty. A hole was tearing through her heart.

Lucinda looked down and shook her head, gently pulling away from him. He let the soft flesh of her upper arm slide out between his fingers and then dropped his hand to his side. Lucinda let out a shuddering breath and wiped under her eyes, diminishing the few tears that leaked out again. Then she breathed in a little slower, a little deeper, and cleared her throat before she spoke.

"Just answer me one question, please," she said honestly, her voice steady. Then she looked up at him again and her eyes locked on his. "Do you want me to leave?" She made sure not to blink, in case she missed something; like a change in his expression. Maybe it would give her some hint that he was lying…

Snape didn't falter and replied instantly.

"Haven't we been through this already?" he asked, looking sarcastically confused. "I've already told you to leave several times in the last few visits you've made down here, Miss Morgan."

Lucinda scoffed and shook her head. Snape's brow drew down.

"Nope," she said, crisply. "You didn't answer my question, _Professor…_"

His face didn't change.

"Do you _want_ me to leave…?" She suddenly dropped to a whisper. Severus's eyes widened so vaguely that if she hadn't been staring so intently at them she would have missed it completely. _There…_ she thought. _There it is…_

_x-x-x  
_

(To be continued..?)

**A/n: **Aghh, I'm sorry! Leaving it off at such a critical moment… But I do everything for a reason… I guess.


	21. Christmas Break part 4

**A/n: **Oh hai, I'm still here and the last HP movie is over now. Stop reading the author's note now if you have not read the last Harry Potter book or watched the last movie. However, you can still skip over this part and continue on with the fanfiction without any fear of spoilers. Anyway, moving on… I was extremely depressed after watching HPDHpart2 until I reminded myself that I still have this story. I read the book a while ago, so of course I already knew what was to come, but… it hurt so badly to watch it happen. It became so much more real to me… I cry for you, Severus. I always have. But, you shall live on inside of me :)

**Chapter Twenty-One**

His head was spinning; much more so than it had been all week at any other intoxicated time. His eyes started to close, lids drooping slightly for a few seconds, before they were blinked forcefully open again. It wasn't the alcohol consumption; the nerves; the fear; the anxiety; the way her black lashes lay so softly on her cheek. It wasn't the dropping temperature in the room or the tight air or the fading lanterns that transfigured his state of mind. It wasn't even the fact that whatever soap she'd used had wrapped itself around his senses… It was the mere and simple fact that she had him. She'd spoken the words. It was a direct question and there was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide… Or he could just not answer.

This was probably a futile attempt at winning the battle, however.

Lucinda's eyes stayed fixed on Snape's every movement, his every expression. He looked away from her seconds after the words left her lips:

_Do you want me to leave?_

He couldn't very well stay silent forever. She'd continue sitting there and nothing would be solved. Severus slid the palm of his right hand across his forehead, sighing. What was he going to do? He slowly sat back down and cupped his chin, appearing to look in deep thought. His line of sight stayed on a spot just to the right of her left hip. Lucinda waited, becoming increasingly impatient as he continued to seem unbothered by her question. After a moment passed, he finally looked up at her, his fingers fitting neatly within each other across his torso once more. Lucinda raised her eyebrows slightly, ready for his final words. Before she had a chance to catch a change in his expression, his lips parted and his mouth formed one single word: "Yes."

_But I'm lying, _said his thoughts.

Lucinda's mouth dropped open in shock. There was no way… "But— you—" she began, but he looked away, gently shrugging his shoulders a bit and unconsciously squeezed his knuckles a little tighter together.

She could have just about screamed. He was lying. After stopping her from leaving twice already, he had to be lying.

"You really feel that way, do you?" she asked him with skepticism, though her voice held a fraction of doubt.

"Yes," he replied automatically with a minor nod of the head. He kept his eyes floating just beyond the top of his desk, staring indirectly at the office door.

"Look at me, Severus…" Lucinda whispered.

Snape closed his eyes at her words. If he could find a way to "un-hear" something, that would be the moment he would have done it. He didn't move right away, but inevitably his eyes traveled over and up to look into hers. She had him bound in the pupils of her hues. His walls came down instantly and he cast his gaze away from the girl once more, sighing too softly to hear. This was irritating, mostly because he didn't know what he was doing or what he was _going_ to do…

He cared for her. That was the bottom line. That's what all of this was about in the first place; getting angry about Samael and the kiss, the breakup, the humiliation, the… how many slaps in the face? None of it would have mattered if he didn't care for her so deeply. She would have been just another girl…

"No," Severus whispered back. "I don't want you to leave." He was surprised he actually said it. Apparently so was Lucinda, because her mouth fell slightly agape yet again. Snape straightened in the chair and looked up at her. Lucinda's legs still dangled off the edge of his desk and her palms lay flat against the top of it, bracing her weight.

"Now tell me why you want me to stay."

The Potions Professor slumped his head to one side and then straightened it again. "What, are we playing twenty questions, Miss Morgan?"

"It wasn't a question," Lucinda answered instantly. "It was a request. Please tell me why you want me here."

"Because!" he snapped, searching his mind for something more intelligent to add. He was left with blank thoughts.

The girl slid her bottom forward and then stepped down to the floor again. "Because?" she questioned, holding her hands palms up. "Because, you like to torture your students by jerking them back and forth, in and out of your office? Are you trying to give all of us whiplash?"

"All of us?" he asked bitterly, his eyes narrowing. Lucinda ignored him and continued.

"Okay," she began again. "So, maybe you're doing it out of pity then. Do you feel sorry for me, Professor? I'm just a poor little girl with a crush on her teacher, right?" Lucinda leaned down as she said this, so that her face was level with his. He stared back at her, his expression cold and unwavering. "You said you didn't want me to leave…" Lucinda said steadily and then scrunched up her nose in distaste. "But, you don't give a _shit_ about me."

Snape caught her chin tightly with his thumb and index finger; tightly enough to leave her skin red where he'd touched her. The young Gryffindor's expression never faltered. She kept her gaze strong and unblinking into the cold eyes of the man before her.

"Don't ever…" he said quietly, speaking each word in a whisper, as he pulled her face closer to his, "say that… in my presence again." Lucinda felt the very tip of his hooked nose brush the end of her own small one. He didn't let her go for a good thirty seconds. He just stayed like that, staring into the dark orbs of her eyes, not wanting to look away ever again. He was selfish; he knew that. If he could have, he would've continued to sit there for another hour looking at her; just being in the same room as she was enough to make him feel ten times better than if she were just down the hall; even if they weren't together; even if she were only his student and nothing more…

He let go of her at once and leaned back in his chair, blowing the air out of his lungs. Lucinda rubbed her chin and leaned back against his desk. Both sat in silence for a few agonizing seconds. Then Snape spoke up.

"I like your company."

Lucinda nearly looked appalled. She drew up her arms and crossed them over her chest with a huff.

"Oh, _really?_" she said. "Is that _all?_" She drew the "all" out.

Snape looked offended. He shook his head a little and said, "No, that's not _aaall,_" mimicking her tone of voice.

"Look, if you're just going to mock me, I really can just leave—"

"No," he said suddenly (maybe a little too quickly for his pride). What else could he say, though? Yes, he liked her company. Yes, he wanted to hold her this very instant. And yes, he wanted her back, along with every bit of anxiety ridden life that went with it… as long as he had her, again.

The girl sat there in silence, still waiting for her Professor to finish what it was he was going to say. Though, it didn't look as if he were in any way about to say something else. Agitation set in. Lucinda bellowed, "I'm leaving!" and turned to do just that.

A firm hand wrapped around her wrist. He hadn't even moved any other part of his body. He still sat there, calm and collected, one leg resting on the opposite knee and his other hand resting on the arm of the chair. He wasn't looking at her, either. It almost seemed as though he'd acted on a reflex, alone. His eyes were fixed on the tips of his shiny, black shoes. Lucinda stared down at the hand he had around her wrist. Her eyes traveled up to his face at the same moment that his eyes raised up to meet hers. No one said anything. Lucinda shivered slightly.

"How could you do that to me…" Severus said unexpectedly. His tone was quiet and supple, but there was a hint of anger in it. The girl's delicate eyebrows drew down in concern at the sound of his voice. "I still wanted you…" he continued, his hand still holding onto her. "I would have done anything to be with you again and then you… you—" Snape let her wrist fall back to her side, as he brought his hand up to place his fingertips to his temple. He cast his eyes to her shoes. "We were barely broken up for 24 hours, Lucinda…"

She stayed silent, feeling her cheeks burning shamefully. Why couldn't this all just go away and be forgotten about? "Severus, I didn't mean—"

"You _kissed_ him…" Snape's voice shook.

Lucinda cradled her forehead in her hands. "I _know_," she said, mournfully. "But it meant _nothing!_" She dropped her hands to look up at him again, just as he was standing. He did it quite quickly, his face so positively livid that she honestly thought he'd hit her. Snape's hands came up in front of him, stretching out toward her for a split second, but then he tightened them into fists and brought them back to his sides. His nostrils flared out with each of his breaths.

"You…" his voice shook more. "You-you… YOU FUCKING _LIKED_ IT!"

Lucinda winced at the volume of his voice and covered her face with her arms. Snape pulled them away and pinned them on either side of her with his hands.

"LOOK AT ME!" he yelled. Lucinda unclenched her eyes and did what he said. Their eyes met yet again and her chin quivered (though, she wished it wouldn't).

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please. Severus, d-don't hate me—"

He brought his hands up and wrapped them around her throat.

"Severus!" she cried in panic, but he merely pressed his forehead against hers, lightly pulling on the back of her neck to bring them closer. Lucinda's breath was coming in great rasps, her heart beating a mile a minute. She really thought he was going to hurt her… "What-what are you doing?" she asked.

His eyes were shut and he kept their foreheads together, both hands wrapped tightly around the nape of her neck. "Trying…" he began, but then paused and steadied his breathing. His body swayed slightly. "T-trying not to… fall ov—" Snape suddenly dropped sideways, taking the girl with him, as his hands were still clasped behind her neck. Lucinda screamed and Snape fell to his back behind the desk. They were back in a very familiar situation. Snape was out cold and Lucinda had fallen on top of him, except this time it had hurt a lot more. She pushed herself to a sitting position and felt the back of her neck. Then she winced. It felt like she'd been struck with a meat tenderizer. No doubt there'd be bruising in the morning…

Snape lay silently beneath her. Lucinda bent her head down to listen for breathing… He was, but the days of excessive alcohol consumption seemed to have finally caught up with him. Plus, he hadn't been eating properly either, possibly not at all.

"Severus..?" She put a hand under his chin and shook his head lightly. To her great amazement, he opened his eyes and looked at her. Lucinda let out a sigh of relief. "Are you okay?"

He didn't say anything. His brow drew down in what looked to be concern or… confusion.

"Who are you…" he asked in a soft whisper. Lucinda's heart almost stopped dead.

"W-w-what?"

Snape continued to stare at her in a confused state. When the girl looked like she was nearly ready to burst into tears, his mouth pulled to one side in a sad smirk.

"Kidding…" he said quietly.

Lucinda's mouth opened into a great "O", as if she'd never been so appalled in her life. Her tiny hands squeezed into fists atop her thighs. "H-how could you do that?" she stammered, shaking her head in agitation. "After everything, how could you just joke like—"

Snape interrupted her sentence when he abruptly flipped her over to her back. For someone who had just fallen unconscious from a standing position, he had an incredible amount of agility. He pinned her to the floor with his chest, though he was careful not to crush her and only pressed down enough to make sure she knew not to move. She stared up at him in bewilderment and partial annoyance. He simply stared back at her, studying her face, watching how her facial expressions changed subtly the longer they sat in silence.

"What is _with_ you?" she said, eyes open wide. "I must say, I'm having a hell of a time trying to keep up wi—"

He quickly placed his lips over hers and the muscles in her face un-tensed. There was a moment of complete quiet. Time froze. Their breath stopped. Snape slowly parted their lips, feeling the warmth from her mouth as he did so, and then anxiously closed them again, completing the kiss. He pulled back to look at her once more and saw that her eyes were shut. Snape reached a hand up and cupped the side of her face. He then placed small kisses along her jaw line and down her neck. He stopped at her collarbone, where he drew in a large breath, and then lay his face down against her chest. He let the breath out. He heard the _thump-thump thump-thump_ of her heart. Then he felt her arms slide around his back in an embrace. Snape relaxed into her.

"Does this mean we're back together…?" Lucinda whispered hesitantly.

The room was actually quite cold. Lucinda realized this as she waited for his answer. Though he was a bit heavy, she was suddenly very grateful for the warmth his body provided. The icy, stone floor still pressed up through her back, however. She thought of the green serpent rug only a few feet away…

"Yes," he replied, interrupting the young girl's thoughts. And he said it just as simply as that.

Lucinda felt a great rock slide away from her shoulders and all of her tension was released. Finally, he saw through to her truths and was taking her back…

Nonetheless, Severus still had the shadow of doubt in the back of his mind (though he wouldn't say it); worries that he couldn't fully shake away yet… And he wasn't sure if he ever would.


End file.
